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BUCKSHOT
Okay, I goofed up. When I submitted the column last week, I totally ignored the protocol of introducing myself to the CRZ community at large. So allow me to introduce myself.
(cue marching music)
My name is Clint McGuire (no, really). I live in Aiken, SC at the moment, thought I am looking to get out. I recently graduated from the University of South Carolina-Aiken with a BA in Fine Arts, so if you have a spare theatre-related job lying around, keep me in mind. I am also a pretty good photographer, a fact which you can verify by going to Clintster's House of Photography (http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Workshop/3096). I also have a variety of rants there.
I grew up watching Mid-Atlantic Wrestling from around 1975, and have remained an NWA/WCW mark since, although that loyalty was broken in the past year. If I need to explain why, you should really watch "Nitro" more often. I think Mick Foley is the most fascinating guy in pro wrestling right here, right now. I wish Bruiser Brody were still alive and wrestling in ECW. I wish I had kept my tapes of Randy Savage wrestling Ronnie Garvin in the ICW back in '81 & '82. I've gone on too long with this. Kill the music and let's rock.
BUCKSHOT is sponsored by Spaghetti-O's. The Cat says "Don't be a sucker, eat your Spaghetti-O's motherfu(censored by WCW)"
So Sid only found one opportunity to extend his run-in streak? What gives? By the way, a little note to WCW: When the fans start chanting for your "monster heel" to run-in on a match, it's time to check the booking, mmm-kay?
The Hummer- who cares?
If you had any doubts that wrestling isn't a soap opera, look again at the Test/Stephanie segments from last week. Still not convinced? How about that lingering shot of Sting's shocked face at the ned of "Nitro"? That was a "soap opera" shot if I ever saw one. You know, how two characters will be in a scene together, and as the scene ends the camera zooms on the face of one of the characters as the music rises? Uhh... not that I've ever watched a soap opera mind you. I mean, that stuff's for WOMEN!!!
If Tony keeps it up, the next "Lugz 'Kick of the Week'" is going to be me laying my size 13's upside his cellulite-ridden melon!
"Purple Munkie Refrigerator"? Well, it's better than "(whatever) 3:16", I guess.
I have to say I have never laughed so consistently through a wrestling show as I did during this week's "Raw". I haven't made up my mind if this is a good or a bad thing.
Fill in the blank "Lilian Garcia:WWF::_________:WCW". And no, "anybody" is not an acceptable answer!
Prediction: Whoever lives at 705-750-5298 is going to have an unlisted number by the end of the week (unless it's Al Snow's)
Sooo, X-Pac wants to take on the Big Guys, huh? Make room at the Holly family table, boys; Cousin Sean is coming to dinner!
"Dozens (and dozens) of Mankind's fans"... BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Was it just me, or was the crowd especially dead during the Shamrock/Gangrel match? I haven't heard so much quiet on a WWF telecast in a LONG time!
Michael Cole, I WANT YOUR JOB. Well, whenever you have to interview Ivory or Tori. All the interviews where you get manhandled by The Rock, Austin, HHH, etc., you can keep.
Someone should really pull Jerry Lawler aside and let him know that too much testosterone to the brain CAN kill. Maybe he should "unload the gun" before going to the broadcast booth.
BURNING QUESTIONS FROM "RAW"
Why did Paul Bearer pull the Undertaker away from the Tag Team title match? Was he aware that this was for the titles?
Will Al Snow finally retrieve Pepper? Or will he find a nice hamster to communicate with?
What happened to the "Blonde Bytch Project"?
BURNING QUESTION FROM "NITRO"
Raw is coming on tonight, right? I mean, they wouldn't screw us over and go straight into "Happy Hour", right? Oh God, please let there be a "Raw" tonight!
That's my take on things. Next week, the man who stole Eddie Guerrero's wallet, REVEALED!
Clint McGuire
freelance
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Visit Clintster's House of Photography
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