Hello friends. Unfortunately, due to technical difficulties beyond my control I missed WWF Armageddon and they're (note the spelling) not showing it again. So I've missed it. Speaking of Armageddon, I questioned the use of that name in my preview of said PPV. Fellow /wrestling columnist Jerry Root sent me this mail:

Subject: The Only Reason It's Called Armageddon

... is because:

(a) the word has been bastardized from it's original usage to mean any radical ending.

(b) nobody would know "Ragnarok" or any of the other "final battle" scenarios from any other religion (or any mythological reference at all)

(c) it sure sounds cool, doesn't it. (We tend to have a flair for the melodramatic over on this side of the pond.)

This reminded me of my idea for a WWF PPV name that I shared with Jerry and now with you folks:

WWF: BLUE MURDER

Its dramatic, it suggests lots of violence, and MURDER always makes things sound better. Oh yeah, read Jerry's column coz they're dead good.

Looks like I was fairly accurate with my predictions, even if I do say so myself. THANK GOD Chris Jericho won. THANK GOD the Big Show/Boss Man match was short. WHY didn't Edge and Christian win? Oh well, I guess you can't have everything.

Why Cutting Nitro Down to Two Hours is BAD

Why is this bad? You might well ask this, seeing as Raw is rather successful being two hours long. Why shouldn't this be applied to Nitro? Well, it will mean the DEATH OF WRESTLING, that's why.

Raw would not work if it was any longer, the roster just isn't large enough to stretch them any further on one show. However, the WCW has a very large roster. On top of this, it is one of the largest collections of talented wrestlers ever amassed in one company. It is vast and the collective talents of the WCW roster is almost endless. I'm talking from the biggest wrestlers like Sting, Hart, Goldberg (yes I said Goldberg)and to a lesser extent Benoit; down to the lower mid-carders and jobbers like Steve Regal, Chavo Guerrero Jr., Blitzkrieg, the list goes on and on and on. What do you do if you cut an hour out of Nitro? You have one hour less to showcase talent. The more established wrestlers still get their air time, but what about the younger talent who have the wrestling ability but not necessarily the mic skills? Fucking Saturday Night, that's what.

It doesn't end there, if there is only going to be two hours then something else has got to go. It sounds kind of strange, but the wrestling will have to go. If you cut out an hour, cut out a section of the mid-carders who you don't have time for, you are left with lots of interviews and video sequences and a guarantee of short matches. Afterall, if you're going to fit in all the muli-faceted story lines and the T&A, there is going to be less room for the actual wrestling. Wrestling is going to die, sacrificed at the altar of a false god, the god of sports enterfuckingtainment. You NEED three hours, either that or you sack about a quarter of the WCW's roster, but DON'T DO THAT!! Rant over.

Juventud Guerrera doing commentary. Dear lord what were they thinking? The man can hardly speak English half the time. At times his English is so broken, he makes Meng look like a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company. While I'm on Juvi, what the HELL is with his new gimmick? The Juice? How much crack is Russo taking? This gimmick is such a bad idea, its nearly as bad as when Papa Shango stole the Ultimate Warrior's arm band and then made him puke. CRZ is right, it does kinda suck to be Psychosis, having to play second fiddle to a mess of a gimmick like 'The Juice'.

I'm sorry if I'm being a bit out of line, but is there any way the WWF could work in Tori getting kicked in the face more often? Perhaps every other week or something? MAGIC THE GATHERING brings you TORI GETTING KICKED IN THE FACE.

I saw ULTIMATE PRO WRESTLING on TV today. One guy I saw who I haven't seen for AGES was Matt Borne. Name for me one or both of the horrendous gimmicks he is best known for and get a MENTION NEXT WEEK. Don't ya love this columnist/reader interaction?

You know, I never thought I would be glad to see the censors coming down on WCW. From what I have heard, there is to be no more men wrestling women in WCW. I bet Russo is pissed, he was about to put his wife over Jushin Lyger. This also means that Madusa will not get her Cruiserweight Title shot at Starrcade. Remember, it's the FANS who will really be missing out there.

I know it isn't wrestling related, but I would like to present:

Marvellous Martin's top ten music albums of 1999.

1. '$ell.Out' - Pist.On

2. 'Amen' - Amen

3. 'Title of Record' - Filter

4. 'Euphoria Morning' - Chris Cornell

5. 'No. 4' - Stone Temple Pilots

6. 'The Fragile' - Nine Inch Nails

7. 'There is Nothing Left to Lose' - Foo Fighters

8. 'Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth' - Meathook Seed

9. 'Helldorado' - W.A.S.P.

10. 'Suicide Pact - You First' - Therapy?

Yeah its all rock/metal, you wanna make something of it?

I know its probably old news for a lot of you, but I've just seen End of Days. Though it is a little shallow and the plot is full o' holes, I really enjoyed it. Can't go wrong with Arnie and Satan.

That's it for now folks. I'll have a new column for you all soon so don't be too upset (ha).

Mail me and tell me I suck or something. But only if you MEAN IT.

Take care, and I leave you with this question: what does LYNX RULEZ mean?