Hello my little chums. I hope this column finds you all well, and I hope the Americans among you enjoyed your Thanksgiving thingie. Personally, turkey once a year is enough for me but you guys go for it!

Here goes another column, rock playing in the background (Alice Cooper and W.A.S.P. baby!), cold can of Grolsch ready , I press on with another set of my hate-fuelled ramblings and observations.

As promised last week, I will mention all the people who spotted my reference to Kevin Nash from last week. Well done and a big shout out to Alex, Rodney Hines, Torri, Shawn Colton, and my old buddy Tom Skullz. I would have been happy with just one person mailing me about it so thanks to you all for making me happy. Easily pleased aren't I? Sorry if I didn't email all of you, I'm a wee bit busy at the moment but feel free to mail me again, I love getting mail and feedback.

In his latest column on Wrestleline, my FAVOURITE internet wrestling writer Mark Madden uses some descriptions about Ferrera's impression of Jim Ross that warrant comment. The first of these is "uncanny portrayal". Erm, no, sorry I can't have that. Ed's impression SUCKS. There is no way it can be described as an "uncanny portrayal". That's like saying Kevin Nash has an "excellent work rate". If I was to describe the impression as "uncanny", it would have helped if he actually SOUNDED LIKE HIM. Its true he said some vaguely Jim Ross-esque things, but as actual impressions go, it was shit. Madden also uses the phrase "Ferrara is a comedian". Now, call me picky, call me too demanding, but I call someone a comedian when they do something FUNNY. You know, as in makes me laugh, does something comedian-like? "Oklahoma" is not funny. Nash's impression of McMahon was poor and made no sense, but it was at least funny. He said things that made me laugh. You see, Nash is more of a comedian than Ed because he has TIMING and DELEVERY. Ed Ferrerra wouldn't know comic timing if it came up, hit him in the face and said "HELLO MARK, I'M COMIC TIMING, BY JIMMENY!" Don't get me started on "The first time he did it, I laughed so hard I nearly threw up four beers and a tuna sandwich." The Mr Creosote references from Monty Python I could come up with don't bare thinking about. All I can say is I hope someone gives Mark a wafer :) Actually, Mark could be on to something there, perhaps its funny if you have a bit of alcohol in your system. Hmmm............

Will somebody please, PLEASE update Chris Benoit's official site? It still says he's in Japan. Somebody DO SOMETHING.

Chris Jericho is incredibly funny on the latest commentary on his web site (if you actually heard me saying that last sentence, you would heard a very sarcastic tone of voice). I can't be bothered cutting and pasting his 'funny' comment. But it was basically him taking the piss out of the people who said he wasn't going anywhere in the WWF. Well Chris wrestled Chyna who made most of his moves look weak, including the Walls of Jericho (what a GREAT name by the way!). Then he put Chyna in hospital with a hammer. You have to agree that Jericho really showed his critics that he is DEFINITELY on track, you only have to look at his ludicrously impressive run of wins and spectacular WWF matches to show that he is on the way to the top. After all, Chris has already surpassed those so-so feuds he had with Malenko and Saturn. Those matches he had with/against Eddy Guerrero, Benoit, Malenko, Juvi, Mysterio Jr. etc. weren't really that great compared to His match with X-Pac. You are right Chris, you have done soooooo much in the WWF to be that arrogant and smart-assed. I was going to write a haiku about Chris, but I know I could never EEEEEEEVER do his greatness in the WWF justice.

VINCE, LEAVE JUVI ALONE YOU BASTARD! WHAT DID HE DO TO DESERVE YOUR STUPID BOOKING? IS HE NOT TALL ENOUGH FOR A GOOD STORY LINE? DID THIS STORY LINE START OFF WITH LOGIC AND I JUST MISSED IT? HOW CAN YOU DO GOOD BOOKING AND BAD BOOKING AT THE SAME TIME? IS IT A TECHNIQUE YOU REALLY HAD TO WORK ON? HAS MY KEYBOARD BROKEN? WHY HAVEN'T I GOT A GIRLFRIEND? AM I TURNING INTO ONE OF THOSE IDIOTS WHO EMAILS CHRIS USING ALL CAPITALS? IS THAT WHY I HAVEN'T GOT A GIRLFRIEND? Sorry, that was starting to annoy me too.

Having said that, I really like what they've done with Curt Henning. I've been a Henning mark for a while now and he's getting a good break. And damn, he can do a good interview. He is also one of modern pro wrestling's finest heels.

Will somebody give the Rock a kick up the ass? The crowd do his promos for him now. They are sooooooo boring. If he carries on being as 'over' as this he will DEFINITELY succeed in his plans for WORLD DOMINATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bret Hart won the title. Its about bloody time.

Go to wrestlingsucks.com. It is a great site.

Whoa, I think that Kim/(Bitchfactor) has a lot of unchannelled anger. I feel I can really relate to that :)

Have you heard they've let Scotty Riggs go? I know he kind of sucked and wasn't going anywhere, but it still seems like kind of a shame for some reason. How come the Barbarian is still working for WCW?It isn't terribly logical. Then again, 'logic' and 'WCW' is an oxymoron (if you don't know what that means, get a bloody dictionary).

Here is a haiku about my FAVOURITE BOOKER EVER, Vince Russo:

Vince writes the stories

Why are some of them so dumb?

I blame all the crack.

Why can't some of these idiots who mail CRZ spell you're properly? I suppose they are concentrated on their complaining at CRZ. After all he is BYACED!

My movie recommendation for the week is the live action feature of 'Fist of the North Star' featuring Britain's own Gary Daniels. Its also got Malcolm McDowell in it briefly. The main reasons I recommend it is because of the lots of hitting and violence, and also because its got a cameo role from Leon White, better known as Vader. "You're gonna DIIIIEEE in this CAAAAAAGE!!!!!" Classic Vader, you'll love it.

I had better warn you, my first column of 2000 will host the MARVELLOUS AWARDS, a combination of my honest opinion of this last year's wrestling and another desperate attempt by me to look important. Stay tuned for it folks!

Wow, I went a whole column without saying "fuck". Oh shit I just said "fuck". Shit! I said "fuck" again! Fuck! No! Arrrrg!!!

That's it for this week folks, mail me and tell me I went over the top on Jericho or something. As I said, emailing me truly makes me happy.

Take care guys and be excellent to one another.

I leave you with this question. Why does ScoopThis suck so badly now?