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Marvellous Martin

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No News is Bad News

I'd like to give you a small insight into my life. I live in Southport, a seaside town that was pretty popular at the turn of the twentieth century. It has become a run down and dismal place that is only good for housing millions, and millions of elderly retired folk who fear all young people, and housing some clubs that have reputations for having ridiculously violent bouncers. These days its only saving grace is a big rollercoaster (that I've never been on) and a sea wall. This doesn't stop people swarming in our direction from the many cities in the North of England like so many insects heading towards a rotting corpse. These people's lives must be so awful that coming here is actually considered a treat. People from Scotland come to Southport on holiday - I mean what's that about?

Anyway, we have two free local newspapers here (lucky us!) that get dumped on our doorsteps every Wednesday or Thursday (the wheels turn slow around here). I looked at one of these this morning, the Southport Champion (it must be good with a name like that!) after finding it in my porch. I was shocked by what I saw as the headline. 'What could the big lead story be about?' you may ask. Could it be:
LOAF OF BREAD WINS ELECTION - probable, but no
WWF COMING TO SOUTHPORT - ha, yeah right
MAN WITH BAGPIPES MADE MY SONS GAY - that would be an American headline wouldn't it?
HILL MADE OF SAND AND GARBAGE MADE HOLY BY POPE - nearly as important, but no.

I'll put you out of your misery [insert name here] IN NET PORN STORM. Allow me to elaborate. The local council's chamber of commerce was horrified to discover that their chief executive had been using the office internet access to surf the web for porn. He claims he was looking at them for 'research' and clearly felt the need to visit them repeatedly - perhaps to try and 'get into the head' of the average net surfer or some garbage like that.

Apart from the obvious questions that you can raise like 'is he not rich enough to have a PC at home?' or 'how stupid is this guy?' there is one question that immediately sprung to mind - 'this is NEWS?'

It struck me - how sad, insignificant and dull a place must my home town be if this isn't only considered a news story but is actually the leading story for the whole paper? It makes it difficult to take any pride in where you live when you see an appallingly written local newspaper (I could do better and I've not got any qualifications or training) report on such ludicrously insipid nonsense. It's terrible the way things get when there isn't any big piece of news to write drivel about. News reports are crippled by a lack of something interesting to talk about.

That's why its been so depressing looking at wrestling news sites recently. With the exception of The Wrestling Observer Site I've been bored looking at the wrestling news. I mean, the biggest news over the weekend was Sandman got 'more drunk than normal' (which is kind of alarming when you think about it) and started stripping? Run to the tallest hill and signal the next village!

What I'm trying to say is that wrestling is dull right now, and it shows in the news sites. Nobody is particularly bothered in speculating about what Bischoff's 'big surprise' is going to be because we all know he's talking out of his ass. The main event at King of the Ring looks like being another over-booked tag match with all the main event characters the WWF have being crammed into it. ECW and TNN - is it a shoot? Is it a work? Is it supposed to be getting them attention? If so its not working.

Some people may be happy with the way things are right now, undemanding and formulaic - but I'm getting tired of it and I know I'm not the only one. The WWF is the main culprit - threatening to get too content to sit back again while they're in the lead. The WWF when it is really pushing is a thing to behold. However when Vince and co. are sitting back and not putting the effort in, they let down the fans who are intelligent enough to notice.

And that was a shoot.


Mavrellous Martin
[slash] wrestling
Oracle of Delphi
Also wants to punch the monkey

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