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Marvellous Martin

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I'm having a 'light' week, so to speak, so go easy on me.

Hi folks. Thanks to everybody (all five of you) that commented to about my column, its all greatly appreciated. I read Heather Birkett column from the other week and was reminded of a recent RotSotBot Mat Potato by Jerry Root and how Jerry was actually talking about things in wrestling he likes. I know I have a tendency to rant about stuff, so I'd like to share some stuff that I'm actually enjoying and is making me happy (all credit goes to Jerry for this so it doesn't look like I'm ripping him off!)

GOOD THINGS WOT I LIKE

  • Edge and Christian as heels. They are massively entertaining and getting a great heel reaction except from the crazed screaming girlies. Christian is finally getting a bit of recognition as the bigger talker of the two (though he is also the better wrestler). I'm very upset Tool Coo beat them but remaining positive, I'm sure the Blonde Goth Express will get them back and everything will be wonderful again.
  • The Iron Man match at Judgement Day. While not comparable with some of the great classic Iron Man matches, The Rock and Triple H showed that their limited arsenal of moves doesn't get in the way of a compelling and entertaining match that kept me interested for the whole hour.
  • Those former-Radical types. They are putting on superb matches, worthy of their reputations heading into New York. When they first came in to WWF, did we really believe that in a few months three of them would have singles titles? They must be pretty proud of themselves. I'm looking forward to Saturn at least getting to the semi-finals of the KotR, but I'd like to see him win it.
  • Everything Sharon and Rebecca do. If you need an example, go read Raging Hormones and go read there newest stuff and mail them and tell them they're great. I'll be looking for the "HI MARS" sign at Summerslam ladies :)
  • THE UNDERTAKER!
  • [slash] getting over half a million hits, I'm digging all the [slash] love down here baby.


    Okay, sorry to be a spoil sport but THAT'S ENOUGH OF THAT. There is something I just have to be negative about. You see when I think of great, inspiring heroes who will do what it takes to take the evil guys down there are two that spring to mind. One is Sting (the wrestler, but wasn't the other Sting really cool in Dune?) and the other is, obviously, Godzilla. What am I talking about? Well:

    GODZILLA IS BETTER THAN STING.

    "What?" I hear you cry "How can you compare some guy in a rubber lizard suit to the greatest face in WCW history?" Well, I've broken both heroes down into categories to compare them. I will give you my conclusions from the results at the end. Let the madness commence:

    Appearace
    Sting - Oh look, I'm all in black and white and I'm all angst ridden and dangerous looking. Sting looks all scary and dark and evil, then he gets in the ring and his promos are exactly the same as they used to be when he was 'glam' Sting. *sigh*
    Godzilla - He is the ORIGINAL giant radioactive dinosaur. He didn't rip anyone else off. Those big spikes on his back were cool, especially when they crackled in the later films.
    Sting - 0
    Godzilla - 1

    Theme Music
    Sting - Metallica. Two years ago I would have liked this, but Metallica have shown themselves to be ruthless capitalist scum with their legal action against Napster and their 'list of 3000 fans' names'. Metallica haven't released anything good since Load either. On top of this, Sting's old music was much better and I continue to hum it when he comes to the ring. Its not the worst music, its better than Brian Knobbs's music anyway. Still, it doesn't fill me with excitement when I hear his music, and it doesn't create any kind of atmosphere.
    Godzilla - Godzilla has the best soundtrack ever. The big orchestra arrangements give a genuine sense of grand spectacle and urgency as Godzilla tramps towards the next big killer monster he must face. Its exciting and makes you look forward to the titanic clash that is to follow. Atmospheric.
    Sting - 0
    Godzilla - 2

    Moves
    Sting - Sting is a great wrestler, I won't take that away from him. But it recent years he has become limited. The recent matches I've seen with him have been - punch, clothesline, atomic drop, punch, Stinger Splash, Scorpion Deathlock/Deathdrop, the end. That's not BAD, the Stinger Splash is cool when he does a really big jump, just not HEROIC ENOUGH.
    Godzilla - Godzilla is not the kind of mutant dinosaur you'd want to mess with. He has the devastating tail stand drop kick for a start. It you happen to be a massive monster with a tail, look out because Godzilla will grab that tail and lift you up and repeatedly smash you into the ground! As if that wasn't enough, he has the radioactive fire breath - 'nuff said.
    Sting - 0
    Godzilla - 3

    Cutting promos
    Sting - Sting is quite good on the mic, he can get the crowd behind him and he knows when to stop talking to avoid getting boring. His years of experience show well in his promos.
    Godzilla - WWOOOOAAAAARRRRGGG! Not one of Godzilla's strongest areas. In Godzilla vs. Gigan (I think it was that one) they had Godzilla talking. It sucked.
    Sting - 1
    Godzilla - 3

    Putting people over
    Sting - Sting sucks at this. The only person I can really remember him putting over is Luger. Sting has spent most of his time being put over by others - Flair, Foley, the list goes on. Look at his feud with Vampiro - Vampiro never gets the upper hand. Sting beats the crap out of him every time. Plus, Sting won't let Vamp kick him much because he can't handle the stiffness of Vampiro's kicks. If anything their feud has made me like Vampiro less. That's bad.
    Godzilla -Godzilla is much better, he's been known to put other monsters over when he's had to. Godzilla vs. Mothra is a good example, Godzilla loses to Mothra and Battra (sp?) for the sake of the plot and the company (okay, I'm exaggerating slightly). Godzilla really showed what a professional he was though in the controversial Godzilla vs. King Kong. You would have thought with his nuclear fire breath and all-round coolness, Godzilla would take the big ape to the cleaners. But this was not so. Godzilla took the fall at the end, losing to King Kong in the sea - Godzilla's own territory. Godzilla did the equivalent of what Vinnie Mac wanted Bret Hart to do at Survivor series - job to your biggest rival in your home territory. Think about it, Godzilla lives underwater, King Kong was the nearest America had to a rival for Godzilla's big monster crown. Godzilla couldn't have been happy, but he didn't just make some excuse at the start of the next film - two monsters went down and only King Kong came up. No monster in the business has as much respect from his peers as Godzilla. Kind of like Mick Foley actually.

    So the final score is Godzilla kicking the Stinger's sorry ass 4 - 1. Conclusive proof, I'm sure you'll agree, that Godzilla is indeed better than Sting.


    That was a total mess wasn't it? Mail me about it, or anything else you care to lob my way like so many little energy charged projectiles of thought.


    Mavrellous Martin
    [slash] wrestling
    Oracle of Delphi

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