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Citizen Lazlo

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The Things Living in my Brain:
12-14-99

The demons feeding on my soul took a night off last night and allowed me to get my Monday night fix in relative peace. I would have to say that last evening we were offered two wrestling programs of distinctly varied quality and content. So without further adieu ladies and gentlemen lets.....BREAK IT DOWN!

  • I used to really respect WCW Monday Nitro. Even though many of the story lines were stale and it was hard to care about most of the top wrestlers in the promotion, the entirety of the mid card roster worked there collective asses off week in and week out. You knew that when Psychosis and Blitzkrieg, for example, came down the ramp you were in for a hell of an entertaining match. Now you get the dumbed down, redneck version, of Raw week in and week out. Now whenever I turn on the Turner product I see them doing a faux push for Chris Benoit (my favorite worker in the business) and milking every last bit of credibility and respect from "Rowdy" Roddy Piper (my favorite wrestler of all time, and another victim of Hogans inflated ass). I mean for Christ's sake people I got the distinct "honor" of watching Sid "big moron" Eudy fight Steve Williams?!?!?!?! We will speak no more of this.......

  • I watched Politically Incorrect on Friday Night and was treated to a very special edition of this sometimes annoying program. The guests were WCW personalities Medusa, Bobby Hennan, Roddy Piper, and someone I can't remember. But during the show I learned two things, Booby Hennan is a very smart and reasonable human being of high intelligence. He did the industry proud. And I also learned that Piper has not lost his mic skills and that he doesn't take shit from anyone. He verbally "Bitchslapped" Bill Mahr at least twice, and when he wants to be he is a very articulate and passionate man. He BELIEVES in what he is talking about. I miss the days when Piper was used as the Star he should be......sigh.

  • I saw the debut of Dusty Rhodes on ECW TNN Friday Night and I must say that The ECW crowed popped like mad for the aging star. If nothing else it was nice to see Dusty treated with respect. The show was probably the best that Heyman and company has put on TNN. Now in the damn Nashville Network would just promote the show, or maybe move it to Tuesday Nights. ECW has the potential now they just need to realize it.

  • Raw was of above average quality last night and therefore, unlike WCW, gets the point by point breakdown.

  • Stephanie McM.....er....Helmsley has gone from my icon of innocence and girlish beauty, to a vivacious and bitchy temptress that I would never bring home to meet my mother or father. All I can say is....YUMMY! This new "Evil Stephanie" has captured my heart like no one else, except Chyna. And now I will raise a glass to her bright and Tight future.

  • Triple H rocks! Hunter is the greatest Heel working in the business today. Yes I know that I said this before, but it's so damn true.

  • Enough of the raging Vince. I liked him better when he was the cold and calculating Son of a Bitch.

  • How do you think that Linda feels about this change in Steph?

  • Mark Henry and Mae Young! That made me laugh my ass off! Mark has sunk to a new low. I would be embarrassed to be Mark Henry these days.

  • Although the Rock N' Sock Connection annoys the shit straight out of me, My respect for Mick Foley and Duane Johnson continues to grow. Instead of cutting a meaningless promo about The Tag Team Belts and maybe doing a meaningless match against them again, they work a highly entertaining bout with the Dudleys. It just goes to show that these two have a strong enough sense of self respect to help put the other guys over. Al Snow, The Dudleys...etc...

  • Miss Kitty, excuse me The Cat (take that Ernest Miller), is entertaining as hell. And besides what red blooded American male (or Canadian, Australian, British.....) can resist a chocolate pudding match?

  • The Mean Street Posse SUCKS!!! Sorry I just had to say that, I'm loving the Acolytes destroying them.

  • X-Pac is a walking joke now. He's out there in a wetsuit, mask, and flippers! What the hell is up with that? I bet Eric Bischoff is laughing his ass off. The days of the big hearted 1-2-3 Kid are over. Long live X-Joke!

  • Kane rules all, they are having Glenn talk a hell of allot more these days. They just best not take the Mask off!

  • The Big Bossman should have the World Heavyweight Belt. Sorry folks that's just my opinion.

  • They beat Test down at the end of the show, that just solidifies Stephanie as a first class heel. Long live "Evil Steph"!

    The world is a funny place and the world of prowrestling is an even funnier place. This Year we have had a star fall to his death in the ring, A man and his Ho's have become a sensation, Steve Austin is fall back to the Midcards and maybe even retirement, The Rock is the biggest Face in the business, Mick Foley is a three time World Champ, Paul White and Chris Jericho have both come to the WWF and now have the two most important straps in the fed around there respective waists, Chyna has crossed over successfully to the male portion of wrestling, and Miss Kitty has broken the nudity Taboo. Yeah it's been a hell of a year in the squared circle and the new year promises to be even better.

    Till next time......be careful out there.

    Citizen Lazlo
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    Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission