You are here /wrestling
/guests
/KaiHentai
Guest Columns

KaiHentai

Main

BLAH

MIRACLE ECSTASIES

If there were thieves at the temple that needed to be cleared out of anywhere, it would be at WCW. There are soothsayers with harm in mind, and shills of unworthy product. Ill let you figure who is which. Unfortunately, in Jerusalem, it took the Son of God to get rid of such charlatans with adverse effects, and the closest to a son of a god in WCW is David Flair. Pardon me for any religious allegories, but watching Nitro the week before, for some weird reason, recollections of Jesus came to mind, and when I saw that humorous article about Wrestling Jesus, (on Wrestleline.com mind you) I figured it must be a sign.

I understand it now. Sons of great men have a whole lot to prove to the world to be their own man. Taking David Flair as an example for pro wrestling, David is crucified like Jesus by his peers. Already the Pharisees of wrestling, the newsgroups, and like, have condemned him. Even I agree that he's not quite what I expected a son of Flair to be in the ring, but I'm going to hold that thought. In the wrestling wold, particularly WCW, Flair is god. He's the standard the others follow, the hope that fans worship. And while his awaited return is prayed, we as fans get stuck with Terry Funk as our savior and David as our defacto Flair. Seeing that Terry is being thrown to the lions of the new World order, Flair is going to be persecuted and chastised mainly for being the son of the Nature Boy.Does he have the right to be the son of the Nature Boy? Can he wrestle? How did David have such luck to be partnered with Torrie, and for that matter, Daffney? Does he even deserve to have an entourage of disciples? Does that mean Brutus Beefcake is coming soon too? Every title David Flair has earned has become a joke to some eyes, with legitimate reasons for that opinion. With that I gained a heavy heart, as I feel that he just quite doesn't deserve such animosity towards him.

The thing is, David Flair wasn't the first son of a wrestler who tried his father's profession who hasn't yet surpassed his father's legacy. I vaguely remember another David, David Sammartino, in fact, and his attempts to stardom flustered. Scott Putski is another example. I honestly don't think being romantically linked to Missy Hyatt can be deemed a success for Mr. Putski, but that's what he'll be remembered for. Who could forget Sean Stasiak, who too has lost his way, for reasons which I don't care to speculate. Its just plain difficult for a son to follow and step over his father's footsteps. Also, what if the son never wanted to step over them at all? For some, their father is their hero, and in their own minds, they may not be able to overcome that.

I'm not saying that most 2nd generation wrestlers have it hard. I mean the Von Erichs did pretty good until some bad luck. The Harts of Calgary, Alberta Canada are another example. However, for some reason, those that had a modicum of success had to reinvent themselves, sometimes purposely cutting their lineage at least in name. Dustin Rhodes was no where as charismatic and popular than as Goldust. Randy Savage did a lot better than his brother Lanny Poffo, whom bears the family name. Heck, Brian Christopher, despite doing pretty well in Too Cool, still gets chants of "Jerry's Kid", despite the constant denial from his father Jerry "The King" Lawler on WWF television. The best example of them all could be Rocky Maivia, whom nobody cared till he was the Rock.

I can understand now why David is portrayed as a psycho. As David tries to redefine himself without any glittery robes, I hope that David would fall out of his father's shadow. Even if it means that he has to lose his insanity (onscreen) to do so. Let's hope that he doesn't get nailed down and left for dead, because I don't think I could handle the responsibility of ruining a man's life for not being as cool as his father. Hard to believe that it took pro wrestling for me to just understand the tribulations that Jesus must have had being the son of God.

Well from the religious to the secular, and the random...

...If you want some vague references, let me tell you this: the Harlem Heat theme is also Francesca de Fiore's Parfum de Coeur commercial song. "Smell Her!"...

... I think the sheen look on the Headbangers is nice, though the prosthetics must go. There's enough silicone in the WWF already without the men having to use them to get "over"...

...The more I see Kaientai, the more I like watching wrestling. Come on Gillberg! We need that Light Heavyweight belt defended! I want Papi Chulo on my tv!...

...I watched WCW Saturday Nite this past weekend, and that is by far the best show of WCW. Why? You can see the desire the young wrestlers have to get to coveted spots. The lazy should be careful of them, particularly of Kid Romeo (though those glow in the dark rave sticks are pretty small compared to that light saber in the dark scene in Skin Deep)...

...I seem to be more constructive than destructive in my opinions. Maybe because I don't want to be any part of any lynch mob at any particular wrestler (Hogan included, no matter what I think of him). Seeing that I'm really just a viewer, a fan, I really don't know much about wrestling...

...I still would like to see HollyWood in the WWF. Or maybe Mountain Fiji and her sister, Little Fiji. Maybe the duo could be Rikishi Phatu's sisters. Oh, the possibilities...

...While I'm at it, bring some babes in as Hillbilly Jim's daughters (farmer's daughters, get it?). Oh and also bring Mrs. Yamaguchi. Who else? I think Zap or Blaze from American Gladiators Its not that I like having breassesses on tv, its just when I get into brainstorming mode, its hard to stop.

...I could have used Raven as someone to compare to Jesus Christ. He seems more the prodigal son to me, however. Raven is one of the most interesting characters in wrestling, mainly because he is so complex. If he gets Francine to be in his entourage, than I commend him. No one has the ability to win members into a group like Raven...

...And finally, if there were one wrestler that would be better than Terry Funk to be commissioner on Nitro aside from Ric Flair, it would have been neat to see Ricky Steamboat back on TV. the Dragon on TV!...

KaiHentai
freelance

Mail the Author

BLAH

Main

Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission