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MIRACLE ECSTASIES 11.29.99

...Three Dot City...

...Remember Tiger Ali? One night on Sunday Night Heat, he offered $500 bucks to see someone impersonate Jim Ross. This man came and did the impression, and as a result, got a nasty suplex or backdrop (I don't know moves) by Dr. Death Steve Williams. Of course Tiger Ali was able to run away, but the lesson was there: It was a tasteless thing to make fun of Jim Ross, and if you did, Dr. Death was going to mangle you. Apparently people have forgotten that original skit, as people who have been arguing on either side if WCW's parody of Jim Ross in the likes of Oklahoma was appropriate enough. It wasn't the bell's palsy portrayal that was offensive; it was that the original skit was entirely misinterpreted as being funny, even though it wasn't. I think that's why I feel a little sorry for Dr. Death: like his run in the WWF, he's going to be overshadowed by some guy in a cowboy hat, and from the looks of it, the parody has overtaken the hype over him. I haven't seen many columns outraged over the fact that Dr D has injured in his recent appearance three wrestlers...

...Since WCW's Mayhem PPV was in Canada, it seemed a given that Bret Hart would be in the main event. The question was, will it be Jeff Jarrett, or will it be Chris Benoit? After that question was answered, I wondered if Bret Hart would be willing to lose in his home country to elevate Chris Benoit, a fellow countryman, into the main event scene? Well, if he weren't going to lose to Sean Michaels on his way out of the WWF, I wouldn't bet on that scenario...

...On a different scenario, Vince McMahon has the right to take a lot of the credit for the WWF's success, because he's the primary target for everything and everybody when something goes wrong. I'm pretty sure that Vince didn't propose that Owen feud with Jeff over Debra...

...Puppies and the Bulldog, would that be a pair? Similar to Yokozuna and Davey Boy, a team that wouldn't make sense...

...If from what I read is correct, a rikishi is an entry level sumo wrestler, with the big title to culminate being the title of yokuzuna. Seeing how the past person to have that title, become so huge to become ineffective, I'd rather have a rikishi in the ring any day. Besides, Rikishi Fatu is the only guy I have seen who uses a piledriver move in the WWF in recent years...

...If Kaientai needed a big man in their stable, Fatu could cut it. Sunday Night Heat has been the show to watch for me, especially since the past two weeks Kaientai have been wrestling, and actually winning! A guilty pleasure of mines to say the least...

...I know how to bring Lenny and Lodi back to WCW. Have them do the Handsome Boy Wrestling School. Evan Karagias has to go back for some remedial classes, maybe change his name to Sparkles, and it would go from there. Maybe Tony Marinara can go there to take care of his lisp...

...I liked Goldust. That 7even guy had the second best entrance this year after Chris Jericho. Dustin Rhodes on the other hand, doesn't make me have any expectations...

...I must have Vince McMahonitis, because I think Mark Henry is entertaining. That rope slide thing, the chocolate mousse, is just plain cool.Too bad he turned on Dlo and the Godfather, I was really hoping for a nation revival, this time with Dlo as the leader. New members? If Stevie Ray is not returning to WCW, he would fit into this mix...

...Sick Boy has two options, become Puke and team with Prince Albert, or join the brood. Gangrel needs a partner to get into the best thing going for the WWF, the Tag Team Division...

...When the Roaddog is doing a moonsault, you know times are changing. But can he and Billy Gunn change his schtick to be worse as they are supposed to be. In '97, I hated them with a passion, because they just had this irritating aura to them. They need to get it back...

...I must be really a fan of Fatu, because I can see him doing the Chris Farley role in the Chippendales skit from Saturday Night Live. Who would play Patrick Swayze? Sean Stasiak. If the WWF wanted to elevate Sean, all they had to was have be a part of the bachelorette party, and poof! Instant agenda to meet with Test...

...And so it culminates on Monday Night Raw, the wedding of Stephanie McMahon and Test. I don't want to know what's going to happen, until I see it, although all those commercials are really getting me psyched. You just know there's going to be something big happening...

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