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/wrestling /guests /Juice |
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/wrestling /guests /Juice |
| Guest Columns | "The Juice" |
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RANDOM THOUGHTS With Raw pre-empted so anyone who care can watch two "real athletes" hit a little yellow ball back and fort, I got a chance to see all (except for when I watched Ruthie the alcoholic on Real World) of Nitro for the first time in a while. A few notes come to mind from it. Is Vampiro supposed to be Raven, or Papa Shango? I half expected Evan Karagious to start acting gay like a member of the Flock, or to start vomitting, like old school Ultimate Warrior. Is WCW planning to bring Tatanka in to do this heel turn thing with Lex Luger? It's almost the exact same angle - is WCW doing more than recycling wrestlers now? Watching Juventud Guerrera come out dressed like Kidman, I thought that if WCW REALLY wants to punish Kidman, they'll have Juventud squash him. If you have someone like Vampiro do it, WCW will just reinforce what everyone knows - that the Cruiserweights are just small, athletic Jobber to the Stars. If they have Juventud squash him, he'll totally lose credibility - Even more credibility than Juventud lost when he put Kidman over last fall. Buff Bagwell said something about Berlyn stepping on his toes - I hope not, I don’t want to see his needle marks pop open. Tony Schiavone called Saturn a "human wrestling machine" - I put the over-under at two weeks until he starts calling him a "human suplex machine." Sign of the Week: "Hey Sid - You Suck" And it wasn't even Lodi's. Shane Douglas doesn't really want to know if we want a Revolution, he wants to know if there's still any lunch-meat platters left backstage. The vignette with Vincent coming in as a Redneck-wannabe was the funniest skit I've seen in a long while. Berlyn's heat looked cheaper than Kimberly tonight. Its Official: Steven Regal is the most athletic jiggly bob of goo I've ever seen. It's sad too, because he's easily the second-best heavyweight in WCW. Was that Hulk Hogan's real hairline. I saw it, but I don't believe it. Buff said "Don't Sing it Bring It" - It's time for Scott Hall to come back now, at least long enough for him to punk Bagwell out for stealing his little catchphrase. I think if WCW brought Ludwig Borga back to team with Berlyn, he'd RELLY get over. When the crowd was chanting ECW during the Shane Douglas-Kendall Windham match, don't you think what they meant was for Shane to get out of the ring, pack his bag full of backstage M&M's and go back to Philly? How did I ever cheer for Hogan? I guess I was a stupid child too. They're giving away $1,000,000. All you have to do is sit through 3 hours of Nitro and 2 hours of Thunder? Sounds about right to me. If WCW spent one-fifth the money they did on Berlyn video packages on acting coaches for Chris Benoit, Billy Kidman, Kanyon, etc. they'd double their profits in a year. Buff Bagwell is actually George Michael on steroids. Hey, if it looks like a duck and it acts like a duck. I never thought Kendall Windham would be more over than Barry Windham. Then again, I never thought Barry Windham would ever bear such a striking resemblence to Dusty Rhodes. Speaking of Barry Windham, wrestlers so out of shape they need to wear shirts to keep from embarrassing themselves on National Television shouldn't be on my TV screen. Um, why is Hugh Morrus getting a push? Just teach some power-plant guy to do a moonsault - it won't get any worse. Did anyone catch the "Surge" record DJ Ran was spinning? It would be sort of cool if they dressed him up like a giant "Surge" bottle. Was that fan so attracted to Lenny! (successor to Whitney!, Tiffany! Jeb! And speaking of Buff Bagwell, Wham!) that he had to go over the guardrail after him? ATTENTION WCW BOOKERS: Did you hear the pop when Chris Benoit knocked Sid out of the ring? Who do the people want to go over Sunday? Sigh. Hogan and Goldberg are teamed together. Whose name gets chanted? Goldberg. Who gets the pin? Hogan. Sigh. If Buff's the US, and Berlyn's the FRG, can I get real Swiss real fast? And where does all of this leave Scott Putski? When Sid walked into the cage, did anyone else get their hopes up that he would powerbomb Hogan like he powerbombed Brian Pilman so many years ago? Did you see the look on Mean Gene's face when he got frisked? Now he's going to expect it every week. With Raw moving back to its regular time, I won't have to see a complete Nitro every week at least. Guess I'm not eligible for that $1000000. If you have any comments, email me at crackbabyX@hotmail.com Unless they're negative comments, then email me at writeyourowndamncolumn@whinelikeabrat.com The Juice freelance Mail the Author |
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