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THE JOHN REPORT
Raw, Cactus Jack, Kane, Too Cool, Jericho and More!
To start off this week's column I would like to send my condolences to the
family of the deceased Kansas City Chiefs star linebacker Derrick Thomas.
For those that do not know, Derrick was in a horrific car accident two weeks
ago that led to his friends (who were in the same car) death. At the time of
the accident, Derrick was diagnosed as being paralyzed from the neck down.
Earlier today, Derrick passed away due to a heart attack. It has sent
shockwaves throughout the entire sports world because his doctors believe he
would be able to overcome this injury. At the Super Bowl, over 20,000 people
signed a giant "Get Well Soon" card for Derrick as many players wished him a
speedy recovery. Being in the NFL for over a decade helped Derrick build a
lot of friendships with players, management and the media. Derrick is a
definite Hall of a Famer and will be remembered as one of the best pass
rushers in NFL history. He was only 33. Rest in peace Derrick, we will miss
you.
Moving on...
I have quite a few things to cover in this week's column so I will try to
make this intro short. Originally I was planing on doing an R&R but I really
liked Raw this week's show. With Mideon being off the show I do not feel the
need for the R&R so maybe next week it will be back. This week's column will
be about the WWF and I will add some of my concerns regarding the health of
the great Mick Foley. Fear not ECW fans, I have a pretty big ECW column in
the works that I hope to have done within one or two weeks. As for WCW, I
really have little to comment about so I guess I will save it for the PPV in
a few weeks. This weekend I will take a special look at the Shawn Michaels
vs. Undertaker match from Badd Blood '97 so be on the lookout for that. I
think that's enough rambling for now, here she blows...
A PICTURE OF JOHN
I received an email from somebody asking what I look like. I do not know why
this person asked me, maybe they want to kill me or maybe they love me.
Because I am such a giving person, here's a picture of me:
As you can probably tell, I am devoted to the gym and I try my best to keep
up with the latest fashion trends. This picture turned out good cause I
combed my hair on that particular day. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am truly
a stud.
LINE OF THE WEEK
I do not know if you saw Smackdown or not but the funniest line, possibly
ever, was said by Pat Patterson. After the women of the WWF were finished
drawing straws they got in a fight and ended up being all over Pat Patterson
and that angered "Double P." Patterson's response: "Get these broads off
me!" I do not know about you but to me that was absolutely hilarious for so
many reasons.
WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION
RAW: A GOOD SHOW WITH A GREAT FINISH
The way I would describe the Super Bowl is as a good game with a great
finish to it. I would use that same description in talking about last
night's Raw. I have read people's opinion that sent me email and those that
have it posted and most are saying it's one of the greatest Raws ever.
Honestly, if I was asked what he greatest Raw ever was I would draw a blank
cause it's tough to remember every show over a period of seven years. As far
as main events go, it's definitely up there with the best ever and that's
saying a lot considering there was no Shawn Michaels or Steve Austin there.
I totally understand why the WWF did not use McMahon or Michaels because the
truth is they are doing fine without them at this point. I am a little
disappointed that Shawn was not used because it was reported on his website - www.ShawnMichaels.com - that he would be at the show. A minor problem was
that on the Code Red preview over at WWF.com, they said the Hardys would
take on the refreshing tag team Headcheese but that never materialized
probably due to a lack of time. Generally, the show was quite enjoyable and
the best one I can remember since Austin won the title last June. No major
complaint from me means a definite thumbs up. Here's a closer look...
A GOOD FINISH
The main event was quite good because they kept bringing in the fresh man on
both teams. By doing that, you allow the wrestlers to do all of their good
moves rather than having them use restholds in order to catch their breath.
I am glad the WWF felt comfortable in putting Rikishi and Too Cool into that
spot because they are definitely over with the crowd and it was a good
opportunity to showcase their stuff. As much as I want to see the Hardy Boyz
win the tag titles, I would be more than happy to see Too Cool win the belts
because they deserve it. Too Cool made the match better because they were
the ones who were in there the longest for the face team taking the bumps
and dishing out a little offense. The Rock, Rikishi and Cactus were in for
about three minutes total which is pretty short when you consider the match
was around ten minutes long. It was great to see the Radicals as heels cause
I think all of them are better in that role and it will lead to many good
feuds as well. Furthermore, I missed seeing Benoit blow snot on people and
as JR said, it was a classy move on his part, haha. I must give credit to
Benoit for the beautiful German suplex on Rikishi and props to Rikishi for
actually taking the move and doing a good job selling it. I know Rikishi's a
fat ass and far from a great worker but the guy is willing to bump so at
least that's a positive. It was funny at the end where Cactus hit Benoit
while he was pinning BC and Hebner just ignored it and went on with the pin.
That was a minor problem though so I cannot complain. The hot crowd made the
match that much more exciting so kudos for them for staying excited for the
whole fifteen minutes.
FINALLY, THE BIG RED MACHINE HAS COME BACK TO THE WWF!
I don't mean to steal a Rock line, I just thought it was an appropriate
subheading. The return of Kane was very nice to see cause he has been
underutilized for months. The good news is the WWF is apparently planning to
give him a big push possibly to the world title this year. That's great
because he deserved more than a one day reign in '98. Congrats to Paul
Bearer for dropping some weight and becoming a healthier (possibly happier)
person because of it. A lot of people think it's a bad move to stick Paul
with him but it works well with the storyline. What they can say is that
Kane was so mentally distraught that the only one he could turn to is his
father. Another good reason for this is because it gives Kane a mouthpiece
which is something he needs. I do not want to hear Kane talk; I want him to
be the guy who just beats the hell out of everything in his path. Let's hope
they can keep in interesting in the long run so they do not run into
problems like they had with him in '99. He is too good to be in a tag team
and he is too good to have a valet so just get him in the title hunt again
and do it now.
A NICE START
The opening interview was quite good even though it could have been shorter.
I enjoy Triple H a lot more when he has someone to talk to, as he did last
night, rather than just standing there and addressing the crowd. A few weeks
ago I said it didn't matter what gimmick Mick Foley uses but I really like
his Cactus Jack promos more than the other ones. I honestly did not see the
swerve by the Radicals coming but like I said in the above paragraph, it's a
move I definitely support. I wish the Outlaws would leave DX and become the
faces they want to be because they are bringing down the group right now. I
think it would rock if Benoit, Saturn, Malenko and Eddy hung around with
Triple H and X-Pac cause that would be one of the greatest factions ever.
That does not mean that I want to see Malenko doing crotch chops but you get
my point. I think they should hang around Hunter and X-Pac so they get
serious heel heat and branch out one their own but at the same time, stay
close to the "office." To sum it all up, it was a great segment to start off
what turned out to be a pretty good show.
RANDOM RAW THOUGHTS
Jericho seemed off last night because he screwed up on the springboard
dropkick and appeared to wrench his neck while bouncing off the ropes at one
point. Sometimes people make mistakes and I can forgive him for that but the
match just seemed off probably because Viscera is so horrible in the ring.
For what it's worth, my order for the "Jerichoholic" t-shirt is on the way
thus adding to my Jericho collection. I have two Jericho shirts from WCW,
his Y2J one from the WWF and the only other wrestling memorabilia I still
have is the Owen Hart "Enough is Enough" shirt that I bought when he first
debuted it. I did have an Austin 3:16 shirt (just like two million other
people) but lost it when I leant it to a friend and never saw it again.
Getting back to Jericho, I guess his next PPV title defense will be against
Hardcore Holly so that could be a good match especially without Chyna in
there to stink it up. Now that Benoit's a heel, my hope for Benoit vs.
Jericho at WM2000 is still possible. Woohoo! I recently caught a tape of
them against eachother at Super J Cup '95 and it was an absolute classic.
The initials for No Way Out are N.W.O. Let the conspiracy talk begin!
I did not get to see Kurt Angle do his move on Mae Young because TSN
decided to show signs in the crowd instead of that. I am not complaining, I
just thought you would like to know. Why is the WWF paying Mark Henry so
much money? He is the Greg Ostertag of the WWF, that's for sure.
If I had B.B. between my legs I GUARANTEE you I would not try to
powerbomb. It would be something physical but not THAT physical.
Edge & Christian have been doing a fantastic job but that's expected out
of them by this point. The thing is, these two are still in the early stages
of their careers and they will only get better from here. The same sort of
thing can be said for the Hardy Boyz who continually impress me (probably
because they are on my banner). These four are HUGE reasons why the WWF is
set for many years to come.
What was the point of Luna vs. Jackie? Are we supposed to give a damn? I
am glad to see Gangrel use my favourite move in wrestling, the Implant DDT,
but when it's on a woman after a match there is really no point to it. In my
eyes, Gangrel has the best music and best finisher in the WWF. My favourite
finisher overall is probably Jerry Lynn's cradle piledriver while my
favourite music is probably Raven's.
Viscera slipping on the floor was the second funniest thing to happen in
the WWF in the last week. The funniest is easily Steve Blackman wearing the
cheesehead on Smackdown; anytime I see that pic, I will laugh my ass off. By
the way, next time a PPV pops up there will be a new banner at the top of
the preview. I promise it is funnier than any you have seen before.
Best part of Raw was no Big Show and no Chyna. I do not like either one so
for me that was a good thing.
IF AT FIRST YOU DO NOT SUCCEED, TRY ANOTHER GIMMICK!
A year ago Brian Christopher and Scott Taylor were a part of a tag team
called "Too Much." They wrestled mostly on Shotgun and occasionally on Heat
but they were scheduled to appear at the February PPV, St. Valentine's Day
Massacre. The original plan was to have them marry eachother (as a tag team,
meaning they would never split up) and once word got around they received
"faggot" chants everywhere they went. A year later, they are main eventing
Raw on a tag team with the WWF's top faces The Rock and Cactus Jack. A lot
of people thought they would not be able to be a big name team again because
of their gay gimmick but "Grand Master Sexay" and "Scotty Too Hotty" have
done it. The Worm and GMS' dancing are some of the funniest things to grace
a wrestling ring. For that I congratulate these two and Vince McMahon for
resurrecting their young and prosperous careers. I hope WCW does not give up
on Lenny and Lodi cause they have a lot of potential too. Resurrecting a
career can happen, you just need to forget the past and look ahead to the
future.
HELL IN A CELL - IS THIS A GOOD THING?
At No Way Out (can we call it NWO?) Mick Foley will put his career on the
line against Triple H in a "Hell in a Cell" match for the World title. I
have mixed feelings about this match because I do not know what to expect.
It's true that this could be a fantastic match and I was excited when I
heard the announcement but that excitement faded quickly after I thought
about things. A part of me knows that these two can surely deliver a good
match but I am more worried about the welfare of Mick Foley than I am about
the outcome of this match.
If you read his book you know how close he was to being paralyzed, even
close to death, in his match against the Undertaker at King of the Ring '98.
I am scared about this for the sake of Mick and his family because I have
seen Mick Foley wrestle and I know one or two insane bumps off a cage is not
worth it. I know he is wrestling less lately with retirement planned for the
near future but this match is not something to take lightly. I worry because
the last time he was in this match he took it upon himself to fly off the
top of the cage onto an announcer's table. It was not in the script, it was
totally improvised by Mick and that's the thing that you have to fear. When
a person's adrenaline flows they do irrational things just for the sake of
having people applaud your efforts. It's not Mick's fault; he has the
instincts of a great performer and in his eyes he is only doing what the
people want to see.
I do not care who wins the world title or if the match is good; I just want
to see Mick Foley walk away from that match without a serious health
problem. Foley is right; he does deserve to headline WrestleMania but he
also deserves to give his family a healthy and happy father. I do not intend
on making this column a tear jerker but I wanted to get the point across
that I like Foley way too much to see him seriously injured. The great
Dynamite Kid is forced to living in a wheelchair because he took too many
risks in the ring. Shawn Michaels had his career cut short because he bumped
a little too much and Steve Austin, although trying to come back, was nearly
paralyzed in the ring. Owen Hart died in the ring because of a stunt that
never should have happened and now all we can do is remember him instead of
watching him perform. I hope Mick realizes that his fans will be there with
or without that final great match. Do us a favor Mick, please be careful and
for God's sake, remember the three people at home that REALLY need you.
IN CLOSING...
Feel free to mail me at wwfjohnc@hotmail.com with any
comments or questions. Have a great week and I hope to hear from you soon.
Smell ya later,
John C.
Big3 Oratory
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