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THE JOHN REPORT The Radicals, Raw, WCW's Problems, The Adventures of Headcheese and More! I was thinking about writing about my Super Bowl experience but it seems as though a lot of people don't like when I do that so I will refrain from that to please these people. I got home Monday afternoon and after catching up on lost time with my two year old son Daniel I watched the Royal Rumble (minus the Mae incident) and Raw. I plan on doing a column all about ECW hopefully by the weekend so ECW fans should check that out cause I really like the product and will do my best to "put it over." For now though, there are a lot of things to cover so here she blows… To start this column off I thought I'd include an email I got a while ago, in fact it was ten days ago, but I had no time to put it in before now so here it is. It has to do with Chris Benoit fitting in with the WWF because several people thought it wouldn't work while I said it would be just fine. This mail, in italics, comes from Hulkamania3@cs.com: The Crippler is maybe the best wrestler ever and at the same time the most under appreciated wrestler. Go figure that. If the WCW fears McMahon making him such a big star, why haven't they been making him that huge star all along. I hope he leaves and gets what he rightfully deserves in the WWF. As for lack of Mic work or flamboyance behind the Mic. Name me another wrestler who is as intense, talented, and driven in the ring as much as Benoit. Like he said after he won the WCW title "It's not what ya don't have, it's what ya do have." That was a great email and it summarizes my thoughts perfectly. Of course, after Raw last night a lot of people now realize that it will work. More on that later.
This addition really gives the WWF a lot of depth and it also gives them four more wrestlers who are LOVED by internet folk therefore making their fanbase that much greater. Having them come on with Cactus was great just like Jericho confronting the Rock on his first night. Now that the WWF has these three as part of their roster they will be able to put together *** matches (at least) on a consistent basis. That's always a good thing because I'm sick and tired of people like Godfather, Viscera and Bossman. With these four on the payroll I have a feeling that by the time WrestleMania rolls around they will be in high profile feuds and the card will be one of the greatest ever. Kudos (I rarely use that word) to the WWF for using them early and kudos to the crowd for popping huge as they appeared cause it really added to the whole situation and made it more memorable. I missed Eddy's frog splash so when he splashed the shit out of Mr. Ass I became a very happy man. I hope they stiffed the shit out of the Road Dogg too and it looked like they did cause the Benoit headbutt was pretty nasty. Seeing Eddy and D-Lo talking about the Frog Splash was a cool moment too since that's the move I use and basically stole from them! The name "Radicals" doesn't sit with me too well at this point but I'm sure we'll get used to it. A very solid debut for these four as they are already involved in the main event feud. Lines of the Night There were plenty of funny lines on Raw so I thought I'd point out a few of them. Thanks to CRZ for these because I'm too lazy to type them for myself. I'll give you a brief comment after each of them. Cactus to the Radicals: "How does it feel to look up and actually see people out there? Our fans pay to be here!" This one made me laugh and it also made me think about the last time all the lights at a WCW show were actually on. Saturn to Cactus: "I haven't had fun in a long time!" Gee Saturn, I thought wrestling Jim Duggan was fun. Snow to Blackman: "You better bundle up, 'cause here comes the Snow Storm!" The sight of Steve Blackman with a children's umbrella and a raincoat was just hysterical. That was great but I've become a huge mark for Headcheese as you will learn later on. People wonder why I like Al Snow so much; it's because he's hilarious just like Foley and Jericho. Comedy always has a place in wrestling and don't you forget it. Kurt Angle saying "thank you, thank you" as the crowd chants "Rocky." This guy kicks ass too. He's getting some great heat and it's only been two or three months. Angle's scene with an EMT after being stretchered out at the Royal Rumble was classic too. The Rock to Big Show: "Go back to Supercuts and get your five bucks back." I'm not a huge fan of the Rock but once in a while he pulls out a good one and this one was that. At the Rumble when he said he feared Mosh and Crash Holly were also pretty good lines. Big Show's haircut makes people boo him more which was his goal I assume. That or he just wants to look like an even bigger idiot. Jericho to X-Pac: "X-Pac, I am THRILLED that you were able to hook up with Tori - for the first time in your entire life - you finally got to kiss a GIRL! How'd it feel? And even better than that, through some strange miracle, you've found the one woman in the whole universe who's even more stupid than you are!" What can I say? That's just classic CJ. No wonder Vince is in no hurry to come back because when you have mic work as good as these guys he can use the rest in order to book a fantastic show. Props to Vinny Mac for showcasing his talent while putting together QUALITY programming over the last month or so. I know Vince can be an asshole and all that but the past month of WWF action has been their best since Austin's original run as world champ in the spring of '98. This time there is no Vince or Austin on air which makes it that much more impressive. While people like Hogan, Flair, Hart, Michaels and Austin - all legends - take time off for various reasons the one person who can't do such a thing is Vince. (Yes I said Hogan is a legend but he should have quit three years ago). He runs the show and no matter how depressed or injured he may be he has a company to run and I applaud him for doing such a great job. Like I said, he may not be the nicest person in the world but he knows what he's doing. Business is Only Going to Improve Do you realize how good the WWF will be when they have Steve Austin back in the ring? Think about their cards, it will be fantastic from top to bottom. Austin, Rocky, HHH, Foley (I hope he stays around), Taker, Big Show (I don't like him but he can be effective) Kane, Test, Tazz, Jericho, Benoit, Guerrero, X-Pac, Malenko, Saturn, Edge, Christian, Hardys, Acolytes, Dudleys, etc. If this leads to no more Bossman, Mideon, Viscera, Mark Henry and all the other crap then the WWF will not only please the sports entertainment fans but the workrate freaks will flock to arenas too. 1999 was a great year for the WWF but in my mind 2000 will be even better. The Tag Team Scene in the WWF First of all, my good friend Samir wrote a terrific article on the tag teams in the WWF that you should check out by CLICKING HERE. Watching the Rumble and Raw this week I realized that the tag titles are on the wrong people and it's a shame that's the case because the WWF's tag division is very good and with the right champions it could be downright spectacular. Not only are the Outlaws the most boring of all the WWF tag teams, they aren't even playing their roles properly. Heels who try to act cool by sucking up to the crowd are sad to watch while heels like the Dudleys are an absolute treat to watch. After Triple H and Kurt Angle I don't know who gets booed more than the Dudleys. With teams like the Dudleys, Hardys, Edge & Christian (they may go into singles soon), Too Cool, The Acolytes and to a lesser extent, the Hollies, the tag division is looking very bright right now. Throw in the comedic stylings of Headcheese and you have yourselves a division. My point is, the tag titles are on the wrong team right now and everybody knows it so please put the belts on the Hardys or the Dudleys so that this feud can be that much more interesting. Speaking of the feud, I think it is spectacular and it is really getting the Hardys and the (damn) Dudleys over so it is accomplishing its feat. I would've liked to see them do it without using gimmick matches only but if that's what today's fans want then by all means give it to them. People complain because JR sometimes goes overboard but it has gotten both teams over so it is serving its purpose. JR's best call ever was at King of the Ring '98 during the Mankind/Taker match and that is why he'll be the greatest announcer ever. The Adventures of Head Cheese! My choice for the team name of Snow and Blackman has to be "Headcheese." I know the prospect of Blackman wearing a yellow coat and sporting an umbrella are good ideas but this cheese thing has gold written over it. Think of it, Blackman walks down to the ring with a big piece of cheddar cheese in hand as the ref is distracted during an altercation. Blackman grabs the four pounds of cheese and wallops an opponent in the head as JR yells out "Stop the damn match! My God, he knocked him out with the cheddar! I think he's dead from that cheddar shot!" I wonder if more cows will be slaughtered by this Headcheese phenomenon. The only thing is, children everywhere may use their cheese as weapons and we could have World War 3 on our hands. Oh the humanity! Stay tuned for next week's edition of the Headcheese story featuring "The Charisma Kid" Steve Blackman and "The Psychotic Bastard" Al Snow! Cue cheesy Batman music here: "Nananananananana headcheese! Headcheese! Headcheese!" Wow, the possibilities here are endless but I must move on. WWF is Set for the Future I think the WWF has set themselves up perfectly for the future with people like Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle and Rikishi. These three are relatively new in the WWF with these gimmicks and they have gotten over big time giving the WWF plenty of talent to use in their main events for years to come. It's weird because Jericho and Angle have gotten over because of their mic work and wrestling ability while Rikishi has gotten over because his ass weighs more than the average man. The only person in WCW in that sort of position is Kidman who may not be in a good spot considering the current booking committee's love for the big man. If Sullivan & friends weren't willing to push Jericho or Benoit (keep in mind that Russo pushed Benoit, not Sullivan) how is Kidman supposed to make it to the next level? Keep in mind that there are several more on that WWF list who have a big chance and they include Edge, D-Lo, X-Pac and Test to name a few more. This is why WCW fell so fast because they planned for the short term while the WWF had a long term plan as they watched Austin, Foley, Rocky and Triple H climb the mountain in two or three years. In four or five years, one or two of the people I mentioned above will be the biggest name in the business. The only question is, which one? Random WWF Thoughts
All in all it was a fantastic week eight days for the WWF and with the arrival of the Radicals it appears as though things will only get better. Too bad both companies can't say that.
My BRIEF Meeting with Goldberg Want to know why there has been little mention of Goldberg's appearance at the Super Bowl? It's because when he had his appearance on Friday there were only two reporters sitting there. This is laughable because Tina Turner got more press and so did the guy who organizes the halftime show! I wasn't at either of these because I was at the ones for FOOTBALL people and not people who I have no desire to see. I can't blame Goldberg too much though because he was the second last press conference during a day that had over 40 so by the time he walked up there nobody had the energy to write a thing. Lots of people wondered what company he worked and when I saw Goldy at one of the press tents somebody even asked: "Have you wrestled the Rock yet?" After laughing at that genius I shook his hand and said hello but we didn't have an in-depth conversation due to time and a lack of interest on my part. I really don't have a desire to talk to Goldberg so I went by him and headed over to the hotel bar which by now was quite full. I've met a lot of famous people in my life and now I can say I met Goldberg even if it was for five seconds. What Should WCW Do? Lots of people are giving their opinion as to why WCW is absolutely horrible but the fact is just look at the top of the company. They have Bill Busch running things and the guy is not even a wrestling fan. He hires Russo only to fire him three months later thereby losing four of your most popular wrestlers. Is Kevin Sullivan really worth losing four of the most talented wrestlers in the world? Hell no! With Sullivan and Nash in power this means that we will get another year of Hogan, Sid and Nash as world champ that nobody gives a fuck about. I don't know who WCW should use to run things but apparently Terry Taylor is popular among the boys so why not hire him? Sullivan and Nash had the book before and they buried WCW so why give them the power again? WCW needs to look at what the WWF has done to remain successful. The WWF has, and always will be, run by Vince McMahon AND his wife Linda. Lots of people forget about her but the truth is she's the one that works on the financial status of the company while Vince worries about the on screen product. Bischoff tried to handle the financial and on screen product of WCW at the same time which is why he failed. It was that and the fact that his lips were on Hogan's ass for about four years. WCW needs to have ONE person in charge of the company that has the FINAL SAY for everything that goes on in the company or else things will only get worse from here. I hear Busch is a nice guy but more often than not, nice guys will finish last in this business. Random WCW Thoughts
In terms of a "John Report" type column this was probably my best but I'm sure you all have your own opinions on that. I think this may be the new format of my Tuesday or Wednesday column so please email me at wwfjohnc@hotmail.com with any feedback, whether good or bad, so I know what you thought about this. I may bring back the R&R and do that every other week but it all depends on your feedback so please take the time to mail me this week. I'd also appreciate it if you can participate in a poll to determine the best of the net and you can do that by CLICKING HERE. Vote for me or don't vote for me, all I ask is that you vote for somebody and make it the best poll on the net. I will probably be back sometime this week with some mail and other things so send along your mail immediately and you could make it into my next column. I'd like to apologize to Filippo Goodman for taking so long on our article and also to all my readers who voted in my "Dream Team" poll. I don't know when I'll have the results to that but it will happen eventually so just be patient. Have a great week and I'll talk with you soon. Goodbye Dick Vermeil, the Rams will miss you and so will I. If you know somebody who is like Vermeil you are a lucky person because he's one of the best people on the planet.
Smell ya later, |
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