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NOTES FROM THE ROSS REPORT
The Notes from the Ross Report is a few days late. Pretend you care.
Before we move on to the NftRR proper, mad props go to Luke Junnstunn and
Eric Szulcszewszckzski of Shooters fame for plugging a certain megasite I
was a contributer to. (*cough*
WrestleWhine*cough*) Same goes for NutCup Scott Keith himself, and
Chris R. Zimmerman.
Oops. Strike that last one, CRZ didn't want to plug it. I forgot. Silly me. (I WOULD have plugged it, but I never got the damn thing to work on my Mac with Netscape! Honest! Ask Elllliottttt! - CRZ)
Ross Report; Home of Ross.
J.R. returns from his week off with a contentless blather about
WrestleMania. Fun meeting fans, big hype might have led to disappointments,
Jimbo's head was full of mucus, yadda yadda yadda.
On the finish of the WrestleMania main event: "Have I seen all four
combatants have better physical outings? Absolutely. Did all four give you
great effort? Yes. Were any of them lazy? No!" I assume he's talking about
the McMahons.
The WWF television production team is great, and they deserve just as
much credit for the company's success as Mideon.
Grandmaster Sexay had had orthoscopic knee surgeray Friday. He'll return
to TV shortlay.
Kane has a broken hand that will require a cast for four to six weeks. He
won't miss much TV, because he's tough. Also, he'd get depushed if he took
time off.
WWF AXXZZEZXXZXZZ was a nice time. The matches sucked, but Ross explains
that if you expected anything else, you're a dumbass.
Davey Boy Smith is at home in Calgary, rested before his WWF return in a
few weeks. Both he and his wife look both ways before crossing the street.
Ross had lunch with Debra and Steve Austin at their ranch in Texas.
Austin's return is imminent, but won't be rushed. Since he's a cripple and
all.
Another injured Texan, the Undertaker, has regained most of his range of
motion in his shoulder. Meaning he can go back to 'pulling his groin' again.
Jim Ross thinks Eddy Guerrero and Chyna will be a really good duo. If you
don't see the obvious comedy in that statement. . .
. . .it's because I couldn't think of a joke.
Some people have the gall to question why in the world Vinny MacDaddy
turned on the Rock. The answer is simple! It's so simple, you can figure it
out all by yourself! Just believe in yourself, and you can achieve anything.
The JR BJotW recipients are the WWF tag teams, specifically Those Damn
Dudleys, Edge & Christian, and the Hardy Boyz. The WrestleMania match was
great due to unique stips as well as the extraordinary effort by the six
wrestlers, fourteen ladders, and thirty-nine tables. God bless IKEA.
Mick Foley will return to WWF TV in a non-wrestling role in the future.
He is currently working on a children's book which will be illustrated by
Jerry Lawler. The preliminary title is "The Boy Who Cried Puppies in an
Annoying, High-Pitched Voice".
Jim Ross plans on having dinner with the Rock and his wife Dany in the
near future. First Austin and Debra, and now this? Why do I get the feeling
these people don't really want Good Ol' J.R. sitting in while they're
having dinner, and he just shows up? "Good evening, folks, it's great to be
here! Whoa, this is gonna be a slobberknocker! Want some BBQ sauce?"
Obligatory "until next time" farewell to the readers.
/Mr JF
[slash] wrestling
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