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CyanIndigo

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BLAH

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

HAI.

It's me again. And again. Yup. And again.

Reminds me of my sex drive.

(One of my mighty nicknames? Monique the Mighty Nympho. It's true!)

Ah, whatever.

They call me by the name of "CyanIndigo" 'round these here parts, and I'm the best there is at what I do.

And right now, what I do best is disgusting certain fine gentlemen surrounded me by asking "how do you get these darn Skittle colours off of my tongue?"

Anyone?

Care to come and "taste the rainbow?"

*wink wink*

THE BIG STUFF (Not THAT stuff. Perverts)

WHOOOOOOOO!!!!! GO JERICHO GO!!

I just about had a heart attack when Chris Jericho took the title away from HHH in that impromptu match on RAW. Just about DIED. I kept asking everyone at the bar "did they just give him the title???"

Indeed, they did. And despite the fact that it was taken off him 5 minutes later, they still had him "win" over HHH, the number one guy in the field, the game, the whatev-AH.

(Side note: I have to practice my Bostonian accent, read why later)

Exchanging mic work, having heated blood between them regarding Stephanie MacMahon, and wrestling an honest-to-god good title match puts Jericho up on a higher pedestal than ever before.

In the top contendership..... did he look out of place against the Game? True, he's smaller (HHH is built like a fucking tank) but he's quicker, more agile and has just as much charisma. He got plenty of air time this week, a little unusual to see out of nowhere, but I ain't complaining.

Chris Jericho = main eventer. That's the stuff.

Steve Austin got one hell of a pop when his name was mentioned as the back-up for the Rock at Backlash. Interesting how big it was, and also how interesting at how my heart did a little jump to hear that.

Jim Jellybean Ross screaming out "STONE COLD" felt nice to the old wrestling soul.

The bald guy still has a spot around these parts. Imagine that.

I would have thought from such a long absense, it might not be as loud or astounding. Guess I'm wrong (hey, it happens)

The things I wonder:

1) Are they going to turn him heel, just for fun's sake after that HUGE face pop? I know that everyone at [slash] and otherwise are SCREAMING that Austin's gonna turn heel and punk out the Rock at Backlash.

Here's news for you all: the WWF reads your screamin'. If everyone has already guessed the Backlash outcome two weeks early....I betcha it ain't going to happen. But time will tell, it's still a resounding question.

(2) Any chance that Debra is going to be coming back to WWF-land if she's married to a six million dollar man? Nah.

(3) Will the returning-hero novelty wear off sooner than expected? Same thing applies for the Undertaker, who I have no interest in seeing anymore, unless he has something different to show.

Speaking of him, I'd just like to point out my personal distain for that nasty idea floating around the newsboards that when the Undertaker returns, he'll be teamed up with Kane and Paul Bearer and act as henchmen for Vince MacMahon.

Fuck.... AGAIN????

C'mon now. Didn't work before, I sincerely doubt it'll work again.

Those two men had their best interaction when they didn't touch each other, didn't fight, just stared and threatened, all the way from October '97 to Wrestlemania 14. When they teamed, it sucked. When they fought each other repeatedly, after that first showdown at WM, it sucked.

Kane's got some good stuff going for him, so I beg, PLEASE don't saddle him with his "older brother."

A STELLAR must go out to the catfighting between Shane, Stephanie and HHH after Linda MacMahon announced Steve Austin's inclusion in the PPV main event.

To Linda, for slapping Stephanie (hey, would YOUR mom want to do that in front of millions?)

For HHH, for almost Pedigree'ing Linda afterwards. COOL.

And to the crowd, for starting over and over that amusing "SHANE'S A PUSSY" chant. Har har.

THE QUICK(ER) NOTES

I fully expect a T-shirt coming out stating "Olympic Heros for Abstinence." Isn't it ironic that Kurt Angle is becoming one of the funniest, more over "heels" we've seen in a while, and it's not from attacking WWF heros or cutting mean, nasty?

And hey, to those who bitch about how heels aren't heels because everyone loves them and wants to see them: If they weren't so damn funny, then we wouldn't cheer for them. Capice? The Rock was fucking hilarious when he was a full-fledged heel with the Nation of Domination. Now look at him. Pheh.

The treatment that Edge and Christian are getting as tag champions is less than stellar, in my view. Putting over the Big Bossman and Bull Bucchanan...... getting beaten from behind by the 1-2-3 Skid and the Road Dogg.... shouldn't they be more dominating than this?

Imagine that. The Acolytes are actually cool now. Now just get them to lose the Under "look at my scary tongue" Taker tights, wrestle in the jeans and APA T-shirts, and they're all set. Not bad at all.

"Shane's a pussy." HAHAHAHAHA.

Jericho sure gets his jollies from calling Stephanie MacMahon every single slang term that might describe a gentlemen friend. Where did THIS come from?

I'm just waiting for the "She's a CrackWhore" chant to make its triumphant return. Always liked that.

Albert now seems to sport a charming body-fur vest of sorts. Lovely. Shaving the arms, always a lady-killer.

I feel the need to point out a hearty Canadian F-YOU to the sports network that treated us Canooks to crowd shots when Buh Buh Ray Dudley was about to powerbomb Trish Stratus through the table. HE DIDN'T EVEN DO IT, and we got retarded crowd shots. Whatever.

Most Amusingly Bad Line of the Night: "If you're going to suck on something, suck on this." -Kurt Angle handing candy to a girl.

If I followed that idea, then Michaelangelo would never be a happy boy. (Oh, COME ON. Is that REALLY necessary? - CRZ)

REF PILE-UP!!! I would have liked it if after HHH fired Earl Hebner on RAW all the refs came out and punked out HHH in the middle of the ring.

Then again, I'm a big dork.

Speaking of that, I didn't even realize that it was possible to make HHH more E-VILL and heelish than before. But there is. I'll go on record as saying that he's turning out to be one of the best 100% heels in WWF history.

Best Out of Context Quote: "Scotty Too Hotty just connected with his Worm!" - JR

Eddie Guerrero is right p-whipped, isn't he? Might as well be by Chyna. Did you see that kick-ass powerbomb she laid Esse Rios out with? Makes you wonder what the "p" stands for.

Apparently Scotty Too Hotty was given the Light Heavyweight Title for something to do until Brian Christopher comes back.

Tazz's entrance seems to be awfully dramatic. Multiple pyros, specific lights, loud, strong music. Hey, it's cool, but what are they gearing him up for?

I find it interesting that Crash Holly is more over than Hardcore.

In case you were wondering, Bull Buchannon is indeed the re-incarnation of Recon from the Truth Commission.

The remixed version of DX's theme song isn't cool because it's a remix by RUN DMC, but because lyrics were added to the original melody. That is the key to good remixes, my friends, don't change the original, just improve on it.

Yup. Perry Saturn is pretty far gone. He's the out of the in-Radicalz. Poor schmuck.

Guy 1: "Shane might be involved in the main event at Backlash?"

Guy 2: "That's what I heard. Hey, he's held the European title before."

Guy 1: "Jesus, who hasn't?"

Does the Rock pluck his eyebrows?

I'd like to subscribe to the Chris Hyatte theory that we should all try to buy a Radicalz T-Shirt just to say a little unofficial F-YOU to WCW for letting these guys go.

Then again, if they want Saturn back, I open my hands.

I kick ass.

I just wrote and finished a 46 page fantasy / sci-fi character crossover last night.

Just sharing my writing skills.

Boo-YAH. Who's your fucking daddy, D-Lo????

Not me. *looks around* Nope.

That's it from me. Column next week? Uncertain. I'm moving a great deal closer to a particular painter's home-state next week (hm hm) I'm going to be AMERICAN for four months!!!

I'll have to take a shower three times a day. HAHAHAHA.

Dirty Americans.

I love you all.

CyanIndigo
Internet Canadian Spy, Eh?

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission