You are here /wrestling
/guests
/CyanIndigo
Guest Columns

CyanIndigo

Main

BLAH

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

Get on your knees and tell me you love me.

All of you.

I'm sick, I need worshipping right around now.

*ACH-CHOO!*

Gawd, I'm so dreaming of the effects of this NyQuill I just took.

(aka the Green Death)

BUT, I have a duty to my scattered, hidden fans, so here is the weekly thing, with the letters and the wrestling and... stuff.

*blink blink*

Am I going blind?

How much dosage are you supposed to.... TWO TEASPOONS????

FROM: Mr T
SUBJECT:

Hi there,

You wrote: Now, granted, there have been rumours about how just because you win the Rumble doesn't mean you get an automatic title shot, so if that's true, it could be anyone. Not a main eventer, could be an up-and- coming superstar *coughJERICHOcough*

AYYY, I wish ....but Jim Ross confirmed that TRADITION CONTINUES, and the winner of the Rumble gets the title shot in his Ross Report a few weeks back. But the upside to this is the WWF is always creative --> remember 1999, Steve Austin didn't actually WIN the Rumble [Vinny Mac did] but Austin eventually wrested the shot away at the Feb. PPV. I'm betting we see something similiar for this year with the Rock.

Am I the only one who thinks Mick will be involved in the main event of the last Wrestlemania of his [active] wrestling career? Call me bold, but I am predicting that Mick will be on the other side of the ring with WHOEVER ends up with that title shot.

2) Chyna and Jericho.... hard to say what's in line for them without some official matches yet... HELLO?"

I would bet on ol' Y2J being in the Rumble in any case, IC Title or no. Chyna, I care not about.

And speaking of Edge, get that boy on the mic! He's not half-bad.

You got that right! :-)

By the way, SURE Road Dogg gets the clean pin on Billy Gunn. Yep. All that skill... sure he would.

Gotta disagree with you [and not on the skill part]. In all the battles with BA, Road Dogg has always been ...well, the Road (Under) Dogg, and never really won a battle [even as the face]. Give him the deuce here, Gunn's won EVERY OTHER time they've ever fought 1-on-1. [Not to mention that Jesse is IMO the more talented of the term in terms of wrestling,but that's just me.].

Pete Gas's is the "Gas Mask" in which he "smothers" the opponent and then drops them into a split-legged powerbomb. Joey Ab's is the "High Society".....

I feel stupid even SAYING anything about the Posse, but it's Rodney [the blond-haired goof], not Joey Abs, that does that godawful Blockbuster imitation - and I do it out of deference to Joey, who is actually quite talented [he came from APW - the same place from which Crash Holly came from, and he was an top prospect in most opinion]. Of course, keep in mind that the other two, on the other hand, are NOT REALLY WRESTLERS! Grrrrr.......

New Jack falling 18 feet onto Grimes through a table

Narf: it is cool ...but it happens IN EVERY SINGLE Nujack Match! It's special [as it should be] for you, only seeing once every two months on PPV, but the tortured of us that watch ECW on TV see that same match you saw, every time he wrestles. Ah well, I'm just glad SOMEBODY enjoyed it.

[psst....hate to correct you twice in one email [I really feel bad, I'll beg for forgiveness at the end] but the Acid Drop is a Diamond Cutter [if you're a purist, Ace Crusher] variation, not a DDT. In your defense, the only one he ACTUALLY hit on the PPV was thru a table, and kinda sloppy at that. The execution of the move is: Spike runs up the corner with the DDT hold, flips, and drops, executing a neckbreaker in the mirror position.]

Keep up the excellent work, and forgive me for being so technical ...I'm a big fan of both yours and Mikey's work. [I'm guessing those two words you want to hear AREN'T "Too Cool" but you guys are. :-)]

Take care,

Mr. T
[slash] wrestling [Buy One Slash, Get a Candy Bar Absolutely FREE!]

Well, fuck it all. *smacks herself in the head* And you know, the thing that right ticks me off is that I KNOW the Acid Drop is a neckbreaker, not a DDT. Why in the hell did I write that?? I must have been... distracted. Hm.

And personally, I've always had a feeling about Mick and the top spot, since I saw that package vignette, talking about how his dream is to headline Wrestlemania. Why would they air that...unless....

FROM: Bethebunny
SUBJECT: Aboot your column..

You Canucks don't say "Aboot"? HA! Just go watch the RAW where Test freaks out Tori, and doesn't know what happened. He looks up and says, AND I QUOTE:

"What was that aboot?"

It's kind of like us Southern rednecks. We don't think we sound like rednecks, because....we only hear other rednecks. TRUST ME, BELIEVE THE BUNNY, you say "aboot".

It's nothing to get all mad aboot though. *snork*

Bethebunny

Oh, F-OFF. The whole dirty American lot of you!! You know how many letters I got telling me that I say "aboot"? F-you! I know what I say! I don't say "aboot" and I never have, it's your crappy American hearing.

Gentlemen..... I have distressing news. Witness... my downfall. Right there, below, courtesy of that .....Michaelangelo character.

FROM: Michaelangelo
SUBJECT: Two words, eh?

So, my dear CyanIndigo.

It is two words you seek to cause you to swoon.

I think I can indeed step up to the plate and provide that service. Why shouldn't I be confident of my abilites...after all you see adamant on not sharing me...I must be doing something right.

So, what are these two words?

Perhaps "Ice Trick." More of a chilly concept, I'd think.

Maybe "Whipped Cream." Tasty thought to be sure, but no.

How about "Renaissance Painter." No, that's your nickname for me.

I know what the words are...... but to reveal them may tell our readers a bit more than we'd like to let out.

Shall I?

Okay, why not?

"My Love."

Let me catch you.

See you soon.

Michaelangelo
[slash]Wrestling

Oh, shit.

*swoon*

Oh, CRAP. That means....oh, god.....the breasts??

They've been CLAIMED.

I made that deal last week, if he could get it right, then he gets his hands on my cookies... oh, great. Now I don't have a choice.

*sigh* And here I was cheering for Lewis Cale.

Well...... far be it for me to deny the prize. It was a bet, I lost, I 'fess up. Fine.

Michaelangelo?

You win. You get them. The puppies are yours and yours alone, one-shot deal. I hope you realize that the entire CRZ.net will now detest you. And I suppose you'll insist on getting your prize as soon as possible (come on, these things are beautiful) Get it over with, at least.

And so.... to Rhode Island.... I go. I am out of action until the week after next, I am making good on my deal.



THE QUICK NOTES

I have no desire to get into anything serious today. So just the notes this week.

Cactus Jack signs all over the place already. Interesting.

Anyone else notice the ticked look on the Rock's face when he WASN'T the one to make the save on Cactus on RAW? Aw... let's all hold his hand.

The Big Show is the biggest pansy in the world if he took offense, and therefore started a feud with the Rock over being called a "jabroni." That's a cheap way to start a fight, by taking the same name that the Rock called the other 28 participants and getting mad about it. C'mon, what, were the scripters in an alcoholic daze?

Mm.. alcoholic daze. You know, I don't drink nearly as much as I should be.

Alot of people are saying that Tazz will show up as the other "mystery" entrant in the Rumble (with the other being the return of the Undertaker) I say no, and why? For the forementioned reason. If the Undertaker is returning, big focus on that, NOT a good time to bring out someone new. Save it for the RAW afterwards, and I think that they will.

Why do we even bother with the HardCore title anymore? These matches are NOTHING like those classic bouts with Al Snow, the Road Dogg, Gangrel, HardCore Holly back last February....oh, that was some good stuff... it was great, a GREAT time for the WWF.

Even though we've all called it, it's true: Tori is wrecking Kane. Now, granted, I can see why the WWF might have THOUGHT that she might be beneficial since she's a woman with breasts (even though she's kind of weird-looking), and she gets him all riled up, but the reason behind his "berzerker rages" is lame. No effect.

Why am I still seeing the Bulldog on my screen? I thought he was gone. So much for that title push, the Mean Street Posse don't even want to hang around with him anymore.

"What man isn't a walking hormone?" The answers?

Cheers to the guy who gets his nose broken every bloody match for winning the useless title that has no prosperity anymore. Let Test go for the IC title, already.

And cheers to D-Lo Brown, who can't get over unless he imitates the Godfather, his demeanour, walk, and character, and walks out with semi-hot women just to get a pop (you have to admit that those RAW ho's were ugly in comparison to previous ones) Let D-Lo do something else besides be in slow-moving tag teams.

I suppose I ought to say a congrats to Edge on the engagement, but more specifically breaking ALL barriers and using his real-life relationship as means for WWF angles. Seems to be the theme of 1999.

Sorry, I'm bitter. Edge is really hot. I would prefer to fantasize about him without real life getting in the way. Wouldn't you agree, gentleman?

Kurt Angle is the most solid newcomer I've seen in a long while.

The Acolytes are going to win the tag titles.

A Paul Wight match = checking out Britney Spears (GAH!) on the American Music Awards. At least for me. You?

A thumbs up to whoever decides to do the Dudley Boyz right and make them vicious, daring, dangerous and downright scary....in other words, tap into their ECW roots. Two 3D's on the Hardy Boyz. Powerbombing Matt Hardy onto Jeff Hardy through a table. A good start. Keep it coming.

I love the way the crowd will cheer at being called perverts. That's too funny.

Speaking of which, do you think that Luna and Jacqueline and Ivory are getting right ticked off for having all these novelty matches and basically being paid to sport their breasts and not much else?

Now, I'm sure that none of YOU mind. Just wondering.

Here's hoping that Gangrel and Luna keep getting carnal on their opponents and maybe enlist a little fear in them. I've said it before, WHY hasn't the WWF used the vampire-biting yet?

Avoidance of the Night: Mae Young's puppies. I would have laughed at each and every one of you if you had to endure a look at those things, breast-obsessed that you all are. HA!

A word to the wise: "Never trust who is in charge."

Can someone tell me what the hell Prince Albert meant when he said to Kane: "You like to be dominated by a woman. Well, so do I."

?????

What??

Oh, never mind, he's got back hair. ICKY. A rule broken, I can't pay attention to him.

It's interesting how going after a woman and doing wrestling manoevers on her is casually accepted nowadays. You'd get your car set on fire if you did that in the 80's.

What sort of welcome will Stone Cold Steve Austin get upon his return?

And speaking of the man, ONCE AGAIN, the Rock disappoints me and doesn't slam Steve Austin in front of the camera when he could have. ONCE AGAIN, the Rock panders to the fans, and shows hints of the really nice guy I'm sure he is, instead of running his mouth and dissing the ill.

(And how sick and twisted is that last sentence? I AM a fuck-nut, imagine that. ^_^)

And you know, as much as the Rock tries to imitate Steve Austin EXACTLY from the 1998 Royal Rumble (ie. "One by damn one over the ropes"... Austin said it then, Rock says it now) I doubt that the Rock can ever have that impact that Austin did. The way Austin would come into matches out of nowhere, stun the hell out of everyone and then mock the fallen's signature characteristics (aka the Jeff Jarrett strut)

The good days of Austin. 1996-1998. *sigh* Let me wipe a tear.

Bump of the Night: The ref in the Rikiski / Jericho match, he caught a flying forearm from Jericho and fell like a ton of bricks.

And for god bloody sakes, WHEN can I see a Jericho match in full?? Hm? I watch RAW and await the Y2J every Monday, and he barely wrestles without getting bogged down by Chyna and Holly and everyone else. I want to see a Jericho match, a GOOD one.

Question of the Night: Austin made it big, then the Rock, then HHH. Who's next? Ideas?

Let me know. Mail goes to cyanindigo@hotmail.com. I'm trying to answer them all, but forgive me if I don't. I'll meow at you and make up for it.

Don't miss me too much next week. Hold onto something for support... can't imagine what....being that you're all fifteen years old... what else do you hold onto?

*snort*

Oh, whatever. Keep your spit to yourself, and do me right the first time.

CyanIndigo
Seduction Artist for Hire

Mail the Author

BLAH

Main

Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission