No, not YOU.

Or you.

Oh, I need not share more. A long seductive build-up? Hardly necessary. I am CyanIndigo, and I've got more stuff than that other Buff character could ever hope to express to all you salivating gentlemen out there.

(What's the point of being the net's sexiest man if your audience is male-predominant?)

Let's get right into it, because it's gonna be a long one, my little cheries. Keep your boxers twisted tight and maybe I'll help you loosen them later. Capice?

The obligitory weekly favourite letters (Just because you all tickle me in more places than one with your attention.... aw.... you're gonna make me blush)

Good theories, good stuff, even better compliments:

FOR: Cyan_77@yahoo.com
SUBJECT: Bravo! Bravissimo!

Cyan! Cyan! CYAN! CYAN! - OOh, better watch how that comes across, wouldn't want to appear rude. You'll get me fired one of these days, you know that? I mean, its enough that you make me addicted, and make me come back, but please, cut down the humour a little so I don't laugh my ass off at work! I already get in too much trouble for being happy at work (trust me - I tell no lies - and I'm not a gravedigger or funeral director!). Again, brilliant column - and brilliantly saucy - just the right amount of heat!

Thanks for writing back last week - it is very refreshing to actually hear from someone "famous" who doesn't get big headed about it!

Down to the column - couldn't agree more about the WWF - I remember when it first started on cable here in Oz - and we could barely watch it because all the guys that are big now were just above being jobbers. I also totally agree about Sucks-pac - they jobbed the guy like crazy and now he's the big saviour? And people (CRZ) complain when heels turn back to faces and their finishing move recovers all of its power! AYE YI YI!

OH well - now I've wasted 20 minutes at the end of my day writing this one, its time to do the important stuff like go home!

Keep on Sizzling petite Internet déesse!

Adrian Tyrese

I'm sizzling? Yowza, and a homina, that really gets me in the mood. A unarmed surrender in my favour, a minor slam at CRZ, and a little Mexican shouting. Always good, always a thriller, killer!

TO: Cyan_77@yahoo.com
SUBJECT: How can I count your greatness? Let me count the ways.... NONE!! Hahahahahahaha Yeah! The Lord Rules!!

You know it is an interesting turn of events when the HW Champ and the #1 contender are both mid carders. Yeah, and since when could someone "win" the #1 contender spot? What's next, a #1 contender's belt? I can think a group of people that would be better contenders than the Bossman (or BBM as I like to say.)

I now wonder how the Undertaker is going to fit into all of this? His face is all over the PPV, so it would stand to reason that he would be there. Here is something I just thought up. BBM loses to BS (I love that, BS. LOL) just then the Undertaker comes out. States that he was behind the whole father getting sick thing to give BS the "killer instinct" (I know we have talked about this before). BS gets into a fuss and wants the Undertaker to get into the ring. Taker refuses at first and then says that he will fight, only if the Title is one the line. BS agrees. Taker beats BS and sucessfuly "stabs him in the back". Taker is the new Champion.

Just a thought, but what a thought.

Stephanie wants to be married to HHH. You might say, "What! Are you mad?!" No really just think about it.

1. At first glance it might appear that she was drugged and married without her will, but no two people can get married without both their signatures on the marrage documents.

2. Stephanie accepts "full responsiblity" for her actions. What actions? She was drugged, or was she? All the girls I know would kill HHH for doing what he has done.

3. Stephanie stops her father and wants to handle it "her way". What is her way, if she was like all the rest of her familly she will interfer in the HHH/Vince match, but how, and for whom. She does have a front row ticket, supplied by DX.

4. There cannot be all good McMahons; it is just an impossiblity.

5. This could be a revenge plot against her father for "marrying" her to the Undertaker a while back. No such thing as forgive and forget in the WWF.

What do you think of that? Stephanie Helmsley the next member of DX?

Yes I am the Lord! And if I ran things the WWF would be a scary place where nothing is for sure. Until next time: The Lord has spoken!

The Lord CTD

Oh man. The Crash Test Dummie. In other words, a twisted, old-school friend of mine.

You know, as strange and deluded as the CTD is, I think he's got valid reasons, especially with the Stephanie MacMahon marriage theory. Keep an eye out, people, because I think, for once, the so-called Lord is correct.

A one-time thing, I can assure you. SLAM!

TO: Cyan_77@yahoo.com
SUBJECT: Far away and impersonal I'm disappointed to note that my vote for the Shamrock ankle lock was not included in your tally of worst finishers. :P Don't fear me.

Re: 4 moves/wrestler, I was at first astonished when I played WWF Attitude on my N64 and my opponents used one of their non-RAW moves. Now it's old hat, but seeing the Undertaker do a dropkick dropped my jaw, much like Road Dogg's real life moonsault. The programmers are not obligated to give each wrestler the 20+ moves allowed, but I guess they realized in a game that the players want to do more than punch/stomp/clothesline over the ropes/finisher. Although punching and kicking is pretty effective at the easy skill levels.

Another reason I can think that wrestlers have limited their moves is the association many people make between a specific move and a wrestler. Finishers aside, which are *very* personal, can you imagine Shawn/Sean (sp?) Stasiak using a float-over DDT a la Roca? Or Kurt Angle with Mankind's double-underhook suplex? Steve Blackman with Val's fisherman's suplex? etc. The undercarders look like they use only 'generic' moves. Why? For fear of either offending the superstar, or for being thought a wannabe? Or does everyone recognize that only certain moves get a pop in any case, and you might as well dance with him what brung you, so to speak.

David Roy

Shit! Apologies to David, I did forget to add the anklelock into last week's list of all-time worst moves. Add him to my special favours list.

Fantastic analytical discussion by the way, read it again if you've got the time. Or the stamina. Or the endurance.

Do you now?

Regarding the seduction artist rates that have been requested by many, unless I really like you and you've got something interesting to offer, I don't do personal favours. Rather, it's tips, advice and general training on how to manipulate someone silly and naive into your bed tonight.

Rates? Depends on how bad you want me..... IT.

THE BIG STUFF

PLACE YOUR BETS! This is the first official year I'm extending my circle of wrestling friends to the Internet community. It's time... once again... to start throwing out the Wrestlemania MAIN EVENT predictions!

It's a long-standing tradition in my former hometown, (that small, perpetually-snowed-in Canuck city that brings an icicle to my eye) that around December is the time for everyone to put forth which two men they believe will be in the main event at Wrestlemania, and it's time again.

So I want to hear it.

Last year, I won myself a nice $40 and a free night out at the bars for predicting that it would be Austin vs. the Rock at Wrestlemania 14. Start the bidding, start the predictions, and start it up, my little Cyan-oyltes. I expect some good theories being thrown my way.

Speaking of theories and revelations,

I think it's been proven. Chyna has lost her intimidation.

You know, it's damned unfortunate the way that she's lost that sheer presense that she had. Remember when she first arrived in the WWF, huge, snarling, and the one in charge? Now? Reduced to a prank-playing nuisance with a little sidekick. I realize that the purpose of Miss Kitty is to show everyone that just as Chyna used to hold the belt for HHH, now she's got someone to hold the belt for her too, yes, yes, the symbolism, the general F-you to the wrestling community.....

Chris Jericho is in the main event on RAW, against the Rock and Mankind.

Who do YOU think will win this Sunday at Armeggedon?

Chris Jericho deserves to win that title. If Steve Austin isn't getting the neck surgery he needs until February, and then a few months of recovery, add to that the stepping down of Mick Foley... damn. The WWF better get their act together and hand Jericho the Intercontinental belt.

Quite obviously, it's the first step towards being considered for title contention. Take the example of Austin, who won the IC belt from Owen Hart at SummerSlam '97, stayed in contention for a few months, started a few with the Rock which was actually a passing of the torch, and then embarked on a world title pursuit after one Shawn Michaels.

This actually brings me to another point I meant to make. I got a letter complaining about how it's not fair that Jericho isn't in the main event yet. He was hyped, he was reverred all over the Interent, so why isn't he main event caliber yet?

This is the rebuttal:

1) If Jericho was pushed to the main event, it would be considered favortism and cause backstage fuss

2) Take examples like the Rock and Triple H, who spent about 2 years working their way up to the top. Slower is better, more rewarding, makes the hot-shot victory that much more special. I see it happening with Jericho.

So be patient. As someone always says to me: "We have plenty of time."

Reap the rewards. I am now with HHH, who officially convinced me this Monday, that he is indeed title contention level, and one of the true big players in the game.

How did he convince? His actions. The amount of screen time given. The fact that he had that crowd in the palm of his hand, watching his every word. The fact that he makes this whole preposterous marriage angle funny to watch. The fact that he amuses and pisses off the crowd at the same time. The fact that although we've seen this MacMahon vs. big superstar in the WWF before, we have something a little different, the victimization of Stephanie MacMahon.

I sound vindictive when I say that. Oh, well. The point is is that HHH has that drawing ability that he lacked before. The more you put someone in the public eye, the easier it is to accept him in it. I've accepted him. He's here to stay.

A WCW reference.... in their FAVOUR. (Don't punch yourself, I'll do it for you.)

If the WCW is re-vamping itself, new storylines, backstage action, more breasts (always a smart thing) why would the WWF bring Paul Wight into a TITLE match with Viserca? Why would you advertise that as the main event? Why wouldn't you be working your ass off to make sure you don't lose your coveted number one position?

This is just laziness on the WWF's part. There better not be a re-run of Bischoff arrogance in that area. The WCW is drawing interest, hell, my OWN interest, and that should be a factor that is foremost in the WWF booking minds. Watch what you're doing, don't lose the edge. Or have they already?

STELLAR to Mae Young. C'mon, I have to admit that the old thing is funny. I laughed during the BillBoard music award vignettes, especially the "I'm pouring it for ma homies!"

STELLAR to D-Lo Brown, for always putting on such a good show for the crowd. Great technician, surprising personality. I was told about a year ago, and now I'll agree: D-Lo is the man. Push him, please.

STELLAR to the Big Show for the attempt at a missle dropkick on Viscera. Sure, he missed and it didn't look great, but hell, that's a seven-foot-plus man doing a dropkick from the top rope!

THE QUICK NOTES

Christian doesn't get enough credit nor presense in his current tag team situation. I can see Edge progressing into title contention (*ahem*... Shawn) and Christian being reduced to mid-card to low (*cough*... Marty)

Too Cool is alot more solid than you'd think. Is the showboating necessary? Probably.

How true was Al Snow's spheel to Mankind, about how the fans will always remember his Hell in the Cell spill moreso than anything else in his life? Sure, the audience booed when they heard that, but how untrue is it? Hm? Think about it, all you little "it's popular TV" fans out there.

I saw that little wannabe cheerleading uniform on one of the Godfather's ho's. I wonder who was drooling. Couldn't have been anyone I know, especially not the one man who was there in person this week....staring and reacting without inhibitions, much like in my bedroom... all I can say is I know, I know.

Flashing orange and black symbol? If you haven't heard by now, it looks like the lead-up to the debut of Taz, ECW's finest suplex machine and newest WWF signee. I look forward to it.

Why aren't the Dudley Boyz more hardcore in the WWF? And why isn't there more explanation about their background. Quiet comments by the King doesn't really help, and not everyone watches ECW.

The Acolytes got a FAN FAVOURITE response. Hm.

Jeff Hardy is more recognized than Matt Hardy.

I'm not even going to comment on the Big Show = bastard child thing that's going on. Enough already.

I wish it was different from the Headbangers. I remember in September of '97 when they defeated Owen Hart and the British Bulldog for the tag belts. One time only. Oh, well.

If Val Venis wears a black towel, and has facial hair, does that mean he's now E-VILL, and before he was pure?
That's a little... unnerving.

Speaking of the man, I'm still waiting for a suitable schmoe to do that "Hello Ladies" schtick for me and reap the rewards. *phew* Don't ask me why, but if you're going to imitate someone in the bedroom......

I don't know what to feel anymore. - Test to Stephanie on Smackdown.

Why is this such a problem for him? I mean, why isn't Test going after HHH for drugging his fiancee and carting her off to a $40 drive-through chapel? Not like she did it on purpose just to fuck him over.... Although that would be interesting.....(see CTD letter)

Is that a knee brace I spotted on Rikishi Fatu? I thought he was out of action for a long while. He's got knee problems too?

I don't wear any underwear. - Miss Kitty.

May I say that she's not the only one. *ahem*

It's a little amusing the rather large crowd response that Too Cool gets when they start the bad 80's dancing (Such a bad time of the century...... a Michaelangelo SLAM! Hee hee!)

Are those DX canvas hats supposed to be "cool"? If so, don't put them on the 1-2-3 Skid.

I made a reference mistake a while back, and a rather annoying friend of mine has pointed it out and threatened to withhold his "sex services" *snort* if I don't 'fess up.

Whatever.

Why am I mentioning it without intentions to confess?

Because NO ONE makes me admit anything I don't want to admit. NO ONE. So I will NOT admit what I made a mistake on, because I'm never wrong.

Simple as that. Know his role and stop insulting yourself, Daemon.

That's all. Tee hee. Let me bat my eyelashes now.

Yes, I am a chick.

The address? Cyan_77@yahoo.com

Do it right the first time, and keep your spit to yourself.