UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL
Oh, don't you want to just reach out and take me.....
Into your wrestling reading regularity?
This is CyanIndigo, sitting here in the late enchanted
evening, looking down at these ivory wonders of mine,
entrapped in.... let me check......black lace....
They've been called ferrets, the 10th and 11th wonders
of the world.... I can't imagine why there's so much
fuss over these lovely breasts of mine lately. All
over the CRZ net. My goodness.
Strange, really. I mean, it's not like I'm keeping
them to myself.
They have been seen. Touched. Kissed here and there
and everywhere (and I mean everywhere) in between.
It's such an experience to get wrapped in soft
feminine goddess skin that it makes you fumble with
the clasp.
Unfortunate.
Would you like that, my little Cyan-olytes? Would you
like me to slam you up against a wall and kiss you
until I take your breath away? Hm? Or maybe just a
little tease and tickle? A little bit of mouth to
mouth or something more? A little wrestling on the bed
until you laterally PRESS me down in victory?
Maybe?
One man around here has experienced what it's like.
Can't imagine who.... mmmm, let me think HARD about
it.....
Oh, yes, of course. It's CRZ. I forgot to tell the
world that he and I go WAY back.... you know....
Oh..... wait......
I feel a burning stare.....
Don't fire me! I'll do my job! I'll stop!
Let's get dirty and tight into wrestling, shall we?
I liked these three letters too much to not print it
up and respond to them publicly:
To: Cyan_77@yahoo.com
Subject: Dammit...
I was as good as seduced, and then you had to go and
tell me you were Canadian. *sigh* Just kidding.
Look, I hate to be rude, but one of the females
promised puppies last week. If I don't see some
puppies, then I'm out of order, you're out of
order, THE WHOLE CRZ.NET IS OUT OF ORDER.
Okay, really, seriously now, I think maybe you are
underestimating the power of having Tori in a
wrestler's corner. She is quite the babe, and
therefore, she is quite a good "heat magnet" for
Kane. Maybe, hopefully, she will betray Kane, and he
will say, "That's it, I'm gonna snap now" and he'll
whoop everybody again. If anything could drive a guy
insane, it's a woman. I'll be in Vegas next week
thanks for coming to the show.
Bethebunny (I guess that's his name)
Puppies may or may not be shown. I never said WHEN
I'm going to show them, now did I? Be patient, and
stop harrassing me, all of you, or NO puppies for you.
As for being Canadian, SHAH, you boys have no idea
what you're missing. Canadian girls know how to
keep you warm at night. We've got endurance,
stamina, Eskimo intrigue and the most seductive skin
you've ever felt.
I don't mind saying it. Ask a renaissance painter
sometime about the real deal.
To: Cyan_77@Yahoo.com
Subject: The latest /wrestling column
Cyan,
You know, you certainly do more than 90% of the /
wrestling columnists in the name of getting e-mail.
I bet you're the belle of the ball....
Anyway, enough wishful thinking and mind-mangling
innuendo.
1) Good GOD I hope your fan's theory about the
'Taker returning to claim Stephanie [on her wedding
day, November 29 RAW] is completely and utterly
wrong. The WWF has enough aggravating angles as it
is. The last thing I need is to re-visit the dark
days of the Ministry of Darkness.
2)The Hardys need the tag belts yesterday. I need to
see Choad Dawg and Mr. Dumbass (who is easily so
fruity he could be the meat in a Lenny/Lodi
sandwich) hold the belts for the 29,847th time like
I need my testicles caught in a manual pencil
sharpener.
3) Interesting analysis of Test. Just one flaw in
comparing him to Gunn--Test has a small bit of
charisma. Then again, the Bossman has more charisma
than Gunn.
4)So WCW is SO much better all of a sudden. Not for
me. When you can barely understand what's going on
and the angles seems solid at first glance but just
try to make sense out of the tounrey. The TV belt is
NOT up for grabs in the match, but the US belt IS.
Madusa gets TWO shots at the tourney.
Ok, that's enough catharsis. Glad I could get that
off my chest. Keep writing 'em, because damn if
something doesn't compel me to read them.
Cale Jamison
Testicles in a pencil sharpener?? Damn.. personally
I think they'd fit better somewhere else.....
I hope I'm wrong about the Undertaker theory myself.
It's pretty lame.....although if he does come back to
re-claim Stephanie on her wedding day, it will place
him right back into WWF storylines..... well, let's
just remember that it's a just theory and nothing
more. Yet.
But if I'm right, I get an ice trick. And you have
to wear my panties. Deal?
AM I the belle of the ball? Hm.... supposedly I'm the
first lady of Internet wrestling, a goddess, a
seduction artist, the sexiest woman in wrestling,
according to a few select SLASH columists /
play-toys....
Damn. I'm a sex symbol. <Smiles>
Just to cement that:
Subject: My God
To: Cyan_77@yahoo.com
My God, you know how to write an article talking
about wrestling that can still turn a guy on.
Maxim
Don't I, though? Silly boys. You have no idea what
I've got in store for you.
And in case I forget to say it: Je t'aime, chere.
You staked the claim on them. They're yours.
THE BIG STUFF
Chyna can compete.
Who knew?
I have to admit that I was impressed with the Survivor
Series match between Chris Jericho and Chyna. Not
because it was a stellar manoever-twisted show, but
because it showed us people a few things.
1) Chyna can take the bumps. She got her ASS
kicked.
2) Jericho was the first wrestler to go almost
full-out on her, and kick her around for long periods
of time convincingly.
3) Chyna CAN wrestle. You doubt that fact? It takes
more skill to take the punishment and make it look
good than it does to actually perform the offensive
manoevers.
4) Jericho is a class A wrestler, WORTHY of the IC
belt. The arsenal that he performed was the stuff
that we Jerichoholics have been craving.
Fan-bloody-tastic.
5) Chyna is frickin' AMAZING. If you missed that
gymnast-style handspring into an elbow she pulled on
Jericho, you missed something highly surprising. And
impressive.
Is she a worthy champ? Well, yes. I'd say so. My
only recommendation is that she work on her stamina
(she was flagging pretty soon into the match) A
little less sloppy. Otherwise, looking what happened
on RAW, she's doing well. She's having fun. You can
tell, and sometimes in wrestling, it makes a hell of a
difference.
And Jericho? Good show. Good show, indeed, both at
the Survivor Series, and on RAW with this
I'm-losing-it angle. I like it. Very interesting.
Kept me from yawning. I see gold in his future. And
stardom.
Right now, he's being tested. Chyna is being tested.
The Big Bossman, for some ungodly reason, is being
tested (Number one contender, my shapely ASS) World
Champion The Bit.... oops... BIG Show is being
tested....
Oh, I'm thrilled beyond belief at those two last parts
of shit, let me tell you.
......Interesting to note who's being pushed lately
and who's not. It may not be as obvious as you think.
Example: The Bulldog is getting pushed, because he
did a near win squash at the Surivivor Series, after
the Mean Street Posse was fully eliminated. Did you
notice that, little ones?
Regarding one of the letters above, I'm going to
STRONGLY disagree with the idea that Test is
upper-mid-card-level.
Not a chance, and I'll tell you why.
Where's the IC challenge run if he's such a big
shot?
IT'S NADA. Non-existent. At least for the moment,
anyways. I'm not saying it won't happen, especially
with the incapacitation of Austin, but he's on
his way. Not there. Not yet.
If he's such a sudden big shot, then where's his
battles with the Rock, Kane, any of them?
Just because he got a title shot doesn't mean he's
on his way to stardom. Al Snow got a shot a few
weeks ago, does that mean he's the next Austin?
Recall my favourite example: Billy Gunn. He was
teamed with Austin and the Rock in a few little tag
matches earlier in the year, and everyone screamed
world title contention. The answer? Look at that
shiz-nit now.
Test? I've heard him on the mic. He's average.
Unless he refines his character and does some
practicing, it's not what I want to see, so therefore
I don't think so. I would have shut off the WWF
forever if they had put Test in my main event at
Survivor Series.
And I always get what I want.
Right.... Michaelangelo?
My body is a temple, so get down on your knees and
pray, fan-man. The extensive "praying", please.
Hmm? Nooch?
Anyways,
Kurt Angle is clean-cut..... he's annoying (God, he's
using the PATRIOT'S music! Career suicide!)......
He's serving the gimmick well. Not bad.
Kurt Angle says that he respects the athletes of the
World Wrestling Federation, but you have to have a
little added something to get into the Olympics.
What do we fans say? F-YOU. Arrogant bastard.
Kurt Angle says that with his intelligence and do-all
attitude, he can be a good, positive role model for
kids. He screams at the fans "You can't boo me. I'm
a gold medalist!!"
What do we fans say? F-YOU if you're a goddamn gold
medalist. This is wrestling. (God, I love WWF fans)
Ah-ah-HA.... do you see the smart nature of the WWF?
If you're anything like me (goddesses out there?
Guess not) then you're getting ticked at Angle and
these vignettes saying that he's the most celebrated
athlete in the WWF. We, as wrestling fans, get pissed
whenever outside sources say anything about wrestlers
being non-athletes.
WWF is capitalizing on that, and giving Angle a little
push.
Smart, EH?
My only recommendation? 1) LOSE the Patriot's music,
you're a goner if you use that shit and (2) Change the
finisher. A modified Samoan drop / reverse fireman's
carry / whatever the hell he uses is not the best way
to get people's attention. Kind of like the 1996
example of Rocky Maivia and the DEVASTATING
SHOULDER-BREAKER.
Whatever.
STELLAR to Jeff Hardy for that fine-bloody-tastic 450
degree splash he presented at the Survivor Series.
STELLAR to the idea of tickling me in more places than
one with that brand new, highly-cute letters page with
my name sprinkled through it on the CRZ net. Nothing
like a few strategically placed tickles to set the
world on fire, hmm?
(This comment would make sense if I'd actually managed to put up Michaelangelo's page, but his Word 2000 and my UNIX server ain't gettin' along, so you can't read it yet. Sorry. - CRZ)
THE QUICK NOTES
Interesting theory that my little panting pinata
Michaelangelo mentioned to me:
"Kane can never be a world champion because he doesn't
have a mouthpiece. Look at all the title contentions:
you have to work the mic and show your side to the
fans. Kane doesn't have that, and that's why his
title reign never lasted long."
That.... is a good point. Hm.
So, I suppose I lose the bet. Alright, then. What do
I have to do to you.... *ahem*.....FOR you? Voluntary
ideas from outside sources?
Hee hee. I love my job.
Anyone else notice the multiple usage of the Tornado
DDT and the Superplex lately? Used to be once in a
virginal moon that you saw either.
An interesting twist to the original Undertaker return
scenario from Rob C, another conquest.... conquered:
"Undertaker is the one behind Bossman's attacks on
Big Show. Remember Taker wanted to toughen Show up
into a killing machine?"
Interesting idea, indeed. >Smack< Kisses for you, my
little one, for having a brain. Not a requirement,
but always nice to discover. Care to have a little
fun?
QUESTION: What would a tag team between HHH and the
Rock be like? Just wondering.
It's unfortunate that we can't ever gauge what sort of
athlete Crash Holly is because he is forever
associated and amalgamated with HardCore Holly.
Is the Godfather ever bored with the pimp gimmick?
It's awfully repetitive... does he ever wish for title
contention? Or is he pulling a Foley and content with
having fun?
I wish that the WWF would hype up the Dudley boys
more. The problem is, the majority of WWF fans are
casual, they don't recognize them from ECW, so
therefore they know nothing about them. How about
some background meat? Besides, with such a killer
finisher like the 3D, why the hell not?
QUESTION: Whatever happened to the British Bulldog's
World Title obsession?
"Word around the locker room is that you're the one
with the little hose." -Tori commenting on the 1-2-3
Skid's's obvious lack of distinguishing male
genitalia.
I LOVE that woman. Nothing worse than a little hose
to dampen your spirits and make you roll away.
Lucky for me I haven't had that problem. Anyone else?
Why is the Mean Street Posse employed?
Big Bossman over the Rock for the number one
contender-ship. WHAT-ever. What did he do to deserve
a mention in the number one contention scene??
A little personal thing for the Road Dogg: you can be
an legitamate, publicized asshole for only so long.
Fans decide your fate, so remember that before you get
too cocky. You can't wrestle worth shit, and you're
over on repetitive mic skills alone. How long you
think you're going to last? Hm?
Is it really necessary to re-hash that old Hummer
angle from the WCW with this hit-and-run crime novelle
of Steve Austin? C'mon.
I missed Debra. Go figure. No, I'm not a lesbian.
At least not in this CyanIndigo persona, but....
Then again, who knows what I do with my spare time and
a coincedental amount of melted chocolate on my
breasts?
Hm? Chere?
Who knows, indeed.
The address: Cyan_77@yahoo.com
The Internet Goddess until otherwise proven:
CyanIndigo
Seduction Artist for Hire
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