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Guest Columns | Ike |
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Hello there, everyone! Ike's back and he's ready to try something that (I
don't think) has been done before. If it has, screw it, I'm doing it
anyway. Before I explain what I'm all hot and bothered about there a couple of things I need to take care of.... My internet access has been unreliable at best in recent weeks, which explains why I wrote two columns, then proceeded to vanish for a while. Also, I just started school again for the term which meant I had to take care of a few things, like signing up for classes and making sure I don't go broke in the middle of term. But all that is taken care of now and I'll be submitting weekly articles (probably on Sunday) from now on. Next order of business, I got my first ever piece of fan mail after my last article. Well, it wasn't really fan mail, just Buff MacKenzie disputing my claim that I am the only online columnist to use semi-colons. Since I have no proof in either direction, and because I just don't care, I hereby proclaim Buff MacKenzie Semi-Colon King of the Internet! Take a bow, Buff! Okay, enough talking about other columnists, on to wrestling. Errrrr... talking about wrestling, not wrestling other columnists. Though a best two of three falls handicap match between me and CyanIndigo's breasts would be endlessly entertaining. At least I'd be entertained. Anyway, I had an idea to try something I've never seen done, and that is actually rank wrestlers based on their match win/loss records. Will it prove anything? Probably not. Will it be interesting? It will to me, whether or not it is to you is totally arbitrary. Here are the rules as I have set them.... Singles wrestlers and tag teams will be kept separate, though you need to be an established tag team before I give you points in that area. If there are random tag teams (and it seems to happen a lot these days) each individual will get points based on whether they win or lose. Win by pinfall / submission: +0.50 Win by countout / DQ: +0.25 Loss by countout / DQ: -0.25 Loss by pinfall / submission: -0.50 The sum total of points given out during a match will be zero. If there's handicap craziness going on I'll adjust accordingly, though the losing side always gets -0.5 per team / member. If there's some REALLY crazy shit going down, I'll think of something. These results start January 1 and include all Raw, Nitro, Thunder, Smackdown and Pay Per Views for WCW, WWF and ECW. Normally I'll also include my random thoughts on the week in wrestling, but I missed a lot of it because I was so busy, so I'll just post the results for this week and hopefully catch up on my shows this coming week. Whenever I miss a show I'll be depending on the recaps here at [slash] to keep my up to date. (So I missed a few matches on Thunder because of it.... By the way, who the hell are three count? (I told you I've been out of it) Without further ado, here are the results for this week: WWF SINGLES WWF TAG TEAMS The Rock 1.250 Kaientai 0.750 Jeff Hardy 1.000 Acolytes 0.500 Prince Albert 0.750 Edge / Christian 0.500 Kurt Angle 0.500 The Hollys 0.500 Big Bossman 0.250 Dudley Boys -0.250 Kane 0.250 Too Cool -0.250 Rikishi Phatu 0.250 MSP -0.750 Triple H 0.250 Chyna 0.000 Test 0.000 X-Pac -0.250 Chris Jericho -0.500 Hardcore Holly -0.500 Mae Young -0.500 Moolah -0.500 Mr. Ass -0.750 The Big Show -0.750 Al Snow -1.000 Road Dogg -1.000Note that since there have only been two shows, the rankings are pretty much screwed up for now. Keeping that in mind, lets move on to WCW: WCW SINGLES WCW TAG TEAMS Kanyon 0.500 The Badlanders 1.250 Kevin Nash 0.500 Konnan / Kidman 0.250 Scott Steiner 0.500 The Harris Bros. 0.000 Tank Abbott 0.500 PG-13 -1.000 The Wall 0.500 Jeff Jarrett 0.250 Sid 0.250 Buff Bagwell 0.000 Midnite 0.000 Lex Luger -0.250 Asya -0.500 Buzzkill -0.500 Chavo Guerrero -0.500 Jerry Flynn -0.500 Mike Rotundo -0.500 Stevie Ray -0.500 Norman Smiley -1.000No ECW rankings this week since there wasn't any new wrestling. See you again next week, where I might actually say something meaningfull!
Ike
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