You are here /wrestling
/guests
/Ike
Guest Columns

Ike

Main

BLAH

IKE THE PROGNOSTICATOR

Sweet, prognosticator is actually a word...

Hey, all. I'd like to begin by pointing out that I have terrible manners. You see, I was so busy ranting and raving last time that I didn't get to properly introduce myself. My name is Ike, and why can't I boo? Last time I wrote you saw the angry, emotional Ike. Today you see me for the man I am; wait a second while I take off my pants.

I think I'm the only person I've ever seen use a semi-colon online. Winking faces don't count.

All right. I come to you today with a strange, ironic prediction. Like a modern-day Nostradamus I pondered the signs, sought divine inspiration and generally sat around on my ass. Then it struck me! My prophecy! My vision which I now share with the world!

Wrestling is coming back to professional wrestling!

We all know 1999 was the year of the mic. The only proof I need to state is the list of champions for both of the big two (in alphabetical order):

Steve Austin, Ric Flair, Bret Hart, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, Hulk Hogan, Mankind, Vince McMahon, Kevin Nash, Diamond Dallas Page, The Rock, Randy Savage, The Big Show, Sting, The Undertaker.

Of these fourteen men, who can we say has good in ring skills? 5, maybe 6

How many have a gimmick to carry them? 4

How many of these men can entertain just by using a microphone? 12

I'm not telling you which I included in each category, so forget it.

Now with Goldberg looking like he'll be the next WCW champ and no real idea when Paul Wight is going to lose the WWF strap (probably at Royal Rumble against Triple H, maybe to the Undertaker when he comes back) why would I say wrestling is making a comeback? Let's look at the signs.

WWF programming has slowly (almost unnoticeably) become more and more wrestling oriented. In the past few weeks we've had the Hardy Boyz / Edge & Christian series of matches, D-Lo and Val Venis putting on a totally old school show, Jericho putting on his usual entertaining matches, Kane and The Big Show putting on a surprisingly good match, The Rock and Sock Connection vs. The Dudley Boys was a great match, etc etc etc...

Also, more and more wrestling fans are becoming 'smarks' and in doing so are learning to appreciate a good wrestling match when they see one. Why do you think Edge, Christian and The Hardy Boyz get such huge pops? This may also explain the backlash against Russo and Ferrera who, in trying to recreate their earlier success and turn WCW into WWF lite, have alienated a lot of fans for their perceived lack of creativity and their abandonment of putting on wrestling matches in favor of gimmick matches. We've seen less and less of that in the WWF recently, and the fans in general, and me in particular, have responded well to it. (I know it's still there, but it is getting a bit better).

The biggest sign of wrestling re-emerging to the forefront are the up and coming stars of wrestling, and the reason people look forward to them hitting the big time. Let's take a look at them and see why their futures are so bright.

Chris Jericho - Lionheart, Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, and WWF InterChrisenental champion. He's on the verge of hitting the big time in the WWF, but I still don't think he's as big as he can be. People are saying that Jericho will be in the main event at Wrestlemania this year, but I think Vince McMahon is still trying to develop him slowly so when he finally does make the big time he'll be there for a long long time. No main event at Wrestlemania this year, but I guarantee he'll be in the main event for Wrestlemania 2001, as well as multi-time WWF Champion. He can do just about anything in and out of the ring.

Chris Benoit - One day US Champ and finalist in the 64 man tournament. Hopefully the one-day reign doesn't mean his stock with WCW is falling. It's hard to predict the future for him since WCW booking is just so random, but I believe he will one day be WCW champ, if he isn't WWF champ first. Amazing technician and has shown some high-flying ability too (flying headbutt off the cage!), but is awkward on the mic.

The Hardy Boyz - Astounding high flyers and their ladder match and cage match against Edge and Christian will be talked about for a long time. If they can somehow avoid breaking every bone in their bodies they'll be multiple time tag team champions, and I predict that they and Edge & Christian will have the match of the year in 2000 as well. When you add Terri to the mix you have the most exciting tag team in the world, but who knows anything about their mic skills?

Edge & Christian - Edge exploded onto the scene a while ago, and Christian has slowly been carving out a niche for himself. Not as high-flying as the Hardy's, but they have some good technical skills and power moves. Edge is not so bad when he's talking (which is rare) and I don't even know what Christian's voice sounds like. I don't know if this team will ever win the belts, but I think Edge will eventually be Intercontinental Champion again.

Kurt Angle - The WWF rookie has already shown the ability to work a crowd and has been given (or naturally has, whichever way you look at it) a pretty good gimmick to work with. He makes amateur-style wrestling fun to watch in a squared circle. It's hard to know how far he'll go, maybe IC champ in a year or so.

Test - Some of the hype surrounding Andrew Martin has died down a bit, but I still think he's one of the best new talents the WWF has. His matches always entertain me and Test vs. Shane was match of the year contender until that ladder match blew everything else out of the water. Has a purely power-based repertoire of moves that are so much fun to see, especially that gutwrench into a powerslam. I don't see him feuding for a belt for a while since he's got this McMahon / Helmsley bit to carry him through for the next little while.

There are more, but it would take too long to get into all of them in detail. Taz, D-Lo Brown, Kane, Eddy Guerrero, Vampiro and Val Venis are all future stars in sports entertainment as well.

Now, to talk about my point from earlier...

Number of the aforementioned men with mic skills: 2 (Jericho and Angle)

Number with a good gimmick: 2 (Angle and Val Venis)

Number with excellent in-ring skills and can put on a show: All of them

That's why I think that in the next few months the focus will be put back on wrestling instead of interviews and skits, and I also think the fans will respond very well to it. I am personally looking forward the year 2000 for it's promise of good and varied wrestling matches instead of gimmick matches. Let's never have hell in the kennel, or whatever that was, again. At least not unless someone actually gets bitten. (Okay, that was mean)

Another thing to keep in mind is that Vince McMahon says he produces what people want to see. I think it's more of the case the Vince McMahon is very good at making people want what he produces. McMahon is on the receiving end of a wealth of wrestling talent. Connect the dots.

One last thing I'd like to point out before I go. Russo and Ferrera jump ship to WCW, who signs them to a rich contract for their writing skills, and so that their program will include more skits and gimmicks and the like. They wind up being the same skits and gimmicks as they wrote in the WWF, but that's not the point. Wouldn't it be cruelly ironic (or poetically just, with apologies to Danny DeVito) if the fans, as I predict, Put less emphasis on mic work and bad acting and start appreciating good wrestling matches again? That would make my millennium.

That's my story, and I'm sticking to it,
Ike
freelance

Mail the Author

BLAH

Main

Design copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission