The gang has reached Nitro in Minneapolis just in time for the pre-Nitro meeting...

Johnny Ace: Aw, man. Bischoff? Does that mean I'm not the booker anymore?

Bischoff: Sorry, Johnny. Stevie here has a copy of the plans for the WWF's ultimate gimmick. I fear that the WWF's been following us, so we don't have much time to counter program...

A booking meeting is called to re-write Nitro just hours before Nitro started (something that the workers were quite used to). When it's over, a trembling Terry Taylor comes out to make a statement to the boys.

Taylor: We're screwed. Sorry boys. We might as well just truck me out there as the Red Rooster and Chavo out as the Gobbledy Gooker and have a turkey on a pole match for the hour against RAW.

Voice: YEAH!! MAKE IT FOR THE FUCKIN' TITLE, BAYBE!!

Crowd: Shut up, Russo.

Taylor: Just to give you the magnitude, I've read the plans, and if it happens, this gimmick could get Billy Gunn over.

Many in the crowd begin weeping. Some ask if "that ECW" thing is still around. Somewhere, Tommy Dreamer is chanting ECW in his hospital bed.

Storm: How do we stop it?

Taylor: There's only one thing we CAN do. See, the gimmick is written to counter all of our heavyweight "star power" with, you know, good story telling. But if we were somehow able to counter program, you know, wrestling, then I think we could do it!

Rick Stiener: That's impossible! No one wants to see a bunch of pansies out there doing flips. They want to see me out there blowing up five seconds into a match and saying, "You want some, come get some. You don't like me? Bite me!"

Storm: It's not impossible. In Japan, good matches draw really well.

Ace: He's right!

Storm: Sure it'll take some time...

Russo: Don't buy that "takin' time" shit! I just used it when I was sca-yad! He's sca- yad just like I was! I say we put the cruiserweight title on RALPHUS!!

Hahahahahaha! I'm a fuckin' genius!!

Crowd: Shut up, Russo!

Taylor: So tonight, Nash, Steiners, Luger...Step aside and let the Kidmans, the O'Haires, and the Storms of this world show you how it's done.

Minutes before Nitro begins...

Storm: Jeff. Mike. Where are you guys going? We could use your drawing power (what little is left anyway).

Jarrett: Listen, slappy, Awesome and I just found out that we're jobbing tonight. We don't like that. So instead, we're goin' to try to get ECW back. If that don't work we'll feud with the Dupps in dark matches. See ya later, Slappy!

Storm: Dammit. Now what?

Nitro begins with the announcement that anyone who hasn't had a good match in the last ten years has been fired. That leaves the company with about one third of it's former roster. They spend an hour on a (newly dug up) cruiserweight battle royal. It draws good numbers. RAW starts with Austin sitting in a chair drinking beer for fifteen minutes.

RAW 5.5, Nitro 1.2

HHH: Holy shit! Nitro drew a full point?! That's it! Put me in the last quarter. I'll beat their asses!

Pritchard: You know, Stephanie. I think that they might have something here. Maybe we should unleash the fury of the ultimate gimmick, now.

Stephanie: No...Not yet. Let's let Hunter do the last head to head QH against Rock.

Pritchard: Again? Oh Man...

Meanwhile, Nitro programs a kickass fifteen minute Kanyon v. Hugh Morris v. O'Haire match for the U.S. Title. RAW counters with a segment where Rock and Kevin Kelly visit the hospital so that Kevin can finally conclusively prove that he's not a hermaphrodite.

RAW 4.2, Nitro 2.5

In QH 3, RAW throws out 15 min of XFL Commercials. Nitro counters with Chavo Guerro v. Crowbar and the return of Booker T.

RAW 3.6, Nitro 3.1

Stephanie: Last Quarter Hour in the head to head, Hunter. First match of the night. If it doesn't work, we're going to do the Ultimate gimmick, next. Rock's still at the hospital thought...So...Um...

HHH: I'll work Big Show and Billy.

Prichard: NO!!

Stephanie: Alright! Big Show v. Hunter v. Billy Gunn!!

The main event for Nitro is announced as Booker T. v. Lance Storm...

Storm: I don't want the belt.

Bischoff: Sure you do! We're actually going to win, tonight! I just need you to have a good match. Maybe our PPV will actually have a buy rate!

Storm: But...

Flair: Do it kid!

Storm: Ric Flair?!?

Flair: Shhh!! They can't hear me! Only you can.

Storm: What the fuck kind of sense does that make?

Flair: Kid, let me ask you something. How long did you hang out with Konan and Road Dogg? How many times did you wrestle Van Dam?

Storm: I see your point.

In the last head to head QH of the night, RAW's match of Billy Gunn v. HHH v. Big Show never really started as Gunn blew up walking to the ring, and just kind of laid there throughout the match, then it stopped about halfway through when Tazz choked out Big Show from inside and released Max Mini, and, oddly enough, Mark Henry. Tazz cut a great promo about being a "t'ug", but everyone watching was pre-occupied noticing that Max Mini was about a foot and a half taller than Tazz. Meanwhile, Storm and Booker had a good match that was made even better by the shocking return of Jeff Jarrett and Mike Awesome who'd been missing for the last several weeks. Storm went over Booker clean, and he and Jarrett brawled with Awesome and Booker.

RAW: 3.5, Nitro 3.7

Bischoff: Oh my God!! WE WON A QUARTER HOUR!! I'm the GOD of wrestling!

Meanwhile over at RAW, Rock hadn't gotten back in time for the rest of the show, Austin was found passed out with an empty cooler next to him, and HHH was crying about his segment getting beat. So Stephanie in all of her ultimate wisdom conferred the Ultimate Gimmick on the feud between herself and Trish Stratus. No one but Jerry Lawler and Vince Russo was impressed. Though Russo thought that they should have added Judy Bagwell to the mix. Meanwhile over at Nitro, Eric Bischoff was about to reward everyone for all their hard work.

Bischoff: Well, we did it! Like I said before, it's ON now, Vince! But I'd like to give special recognition to the three people who helped us out draw RAW in the last quarter hour. Kevin Nash, Rick Steiner, and Hulk Hogan, come on up here! The T-Shirt commercials that you were in during that quarter hour, were just awesome, and I think totally blew the viewers away! I'm sorry I ever doubted your drawing power. Next week, I'm going to have an even better final quarter hour! Nash/Stiener/Page/Hogan v. The Cat/Goldberg/Steiner/Dustin Rhodes. Hell Yeah! Then we'll reform the N.W.O. It's on, Vince!!

Crowd: Groan.

Tony: It's a NEW DAY for WCW!!

Stevie: Tony, Tony, Can I ax you a question?!

So, the vicious cycle continues.