<The gang approach Titan Towers dressed in costumes.>

Steve Blackman: I can't believe I'm stuck on guard duty for that prima donna, Hunter. I'm the leathal weapon, dammit. It's party time. I can get exited, watch: This is my house.

Elix Skipper: No, it's not! This is MY HOUSE! I BUILT THIS HOUSE!!

Blackman canes Skipper.

Steve Blackman: Now how can I help you gentleman.

Flair: We're from (wh..) um...ECW. We're looking for contracts.

Steve Blackman: Does J.R. know you're here?

Storm: No. We...uh...Just decided to come here today.

Steve Blackman: Can I get your names?

Flair: Sure. I'm Don WHOO...Err...I mean Don Callis. Smell my biting smart humour! TNN SUCKS!! ROOOOLLLLERJAM!!!

Storm: I am Little Guido. Where is my pizza?

Jeff Jarrett: I'm Danny Doring, slappy. Careful I don't slap you with my Danna- slappy.

Awesome: CHICKENS!!!!!!!!!!! GRRR!

Steve Blackman: Wow. You've lost a lot of weight, Roadkill.

Tony: I'm Joey Styles. The greatest announcer in the history of announcers except for Tony Schivani!!

Steve Blackman: Riiiight...And you?

Stevie: Froot Bootie! Froot Bootie!

Flair: That's...uh...Joel Gertner. He's just not feeling well.

Steve Blackman: But, he's black.

Flair: Are you calling Cyrus a liar, fat boy?

Steve Blackman: Whatever. They don't pay me enough to argue. I'll tell J.R. you're here, until then, help yourself to some complimentary WWF The Magazine T- Shirts.

They enter Titan Towers, put on the stylish T-Shirts, and duck into the old "Los Super Astros" set. Dust is quickly collecting. Max Mini sits, forgotten in the corner.

Max: J....J.R.? Am...Am...I on...Jakked...yet?

Big Show ducks in and devours Max Mini, and skips merrily away, not noticing the six men standing behind the unsold life size cut outs of "Papi Chulo".

Storm: Now what? We're here.

Flair: I've got it! I'll find out what the XFL lost last week and e-mail it to all the stock holders. That'll provide a distraction while you find out what happened to Bischoff.

<Flair exits in search of the documents room>

Jarrett: I'm tired of all this slappin' around. Why do we want to find Bischoff anyway? He can't give us those big money contracts anymore.

Storm: Because, if somehow we can sabotage the WWF, then we can start to win the war again. And you know what happens then? Endorsements. Shoes, pizza, you name it.

Jarrett: You mean I could do another TracFone Ad?

Storm: Or that. Sure, Jeff.

Stevie: YAK ATTACK!! YAK ATTACK, TONY!!

Tony: Stevie's found out where Eric Bischoff is. Stevie did it. What a shocking swerve! It's all here on this monitor!

Storm: Hey! He IS on the monitor. He's being held somewhere on the "Livewire" set. Let's go! Stevie, Tony stay here and wait. If anyone comes in...Say you're the Spanish announcers...Here's a TracFone, keep it with you.

<They all exit>

Meanwhile, Ric Flair is WALKING!! (CRZ)

Elsewhere, HHH is talking to Steve Blackman...

HHH: Ross told me to come down here and scare off some ECW guys, where are they?

Steve Blackman: I told them to go in and grab some T-Shirts. They should be in the lobby. Something was odd. Doesn't Don Callis have long brown hair?

HHH: Yeah?

Steve Blackman: He must have cut it short and bleached it white then. Huh.

HHH: Short white hair? Shit...

<HHH exits>

Steve Blackman: I've got more charisma in my left nunchuku than he does in his whole body. I should be main-eventing Pay Per Views. Damn him for ending my great feud with Al Snow. I was SO over.

Meanwhile, Ric Flair is still WALKING.

The rest of the WCW six has found the Livewire set. A very bored looking Dean Malenko sits in a chair.

Malenko: Hey, guys! I didn't know we signed you!! Shoot, they'll probably put you in the Radicalz with me. That means less of a cut of Radicalz merchandise. Man. Have you guys seen Michael Cole? We were supposed to do a thing for Livewire about how I use lifts to increase my height to five foot, but I haven't seen him...

Awesome powebombs Malenko and his chair through the floor. Storm looks at Jarrett, who just shrugs.

Storm: Well...Umm...Ok. I'll look over this way in the behind the monitors. Mike, you go over to the camera pit. Jeff stay here unless Cole comes.

Awesome: THE SEVENTIES RULE!!!

While Storm and Awesome leave, the phone begins ringing.

Jarrett: Um...Hello?

Benoit: Hi, is Dean there?

Jarrett: (gravely voice) Yeah, I'm right here, Chris.

Benoit: HEY! I know that voice! Jarrett!! Come back to job to Chyna in "House Keeping" matches, eh?

Jarrett: Dammit, Slappy Benoit! I carried your slappy ass in those bunkhouse matches!

Benoit: Wait a minute...Where's Dean?!?!

Jarrett slams down the phone.

Jarrett: Shit! Lance! Hurry up! Benoit knows we're here!!

Storm begins digging through the boxes of "Steve Austin Bendy Straws" to find where they've hidden Bischoff.

Bischoff: Hey! Who're you?! You're too short to be an upper carder. Say, are you wrestling on Metal?

Storm: I wish! No, I'm Lance Storm and I'm from Calgary...Alberta, Canada. I'm here with Ric Flair.

Bischoff: Flair? Where is he?

Just then, the door bursts open and Perry Saturn, K-Kwik and Too Cool rush through.

K-Kwik: Somebody say "Move Tha Thing!

The WCW guys start fighting back, but it's looking grim. But Bischoff has an idea!

Bischoff: Lance! Mike! Jeff! Through here!

Storm: The garbage chute? That's not very original, Eric.

Bischoff: You're getting killed. Let's just get down there.

The gang jumps down the garbage chute and land in a huge dumpster outside Titan Towers.

Lance: Look at all this crap! "The Austin 3:16 Alarm clock, no matter what time it is it's always 3:16". A The Rock Calendar, "'It Doesn't Matter What Day It Is' all 365 days of this year".

Jarrett: Ooo! Even some really good collectibles. A Beaver Cleavage bobble head doll. A Kane Doll that changes from face to heel when you pull his string. A Chris Jericho action figure that doesn't miss spots. Hey! A life size Vic Venom doll!

Russo: I'm not a doll, Jarrett. I made you tha champ! Have a bit more respect!

Jarrett: Yeah, but then you asked me to drop it to Bertha Faye.

Russo: She's a fat chick! It woulda been funny!! A fat chick world champ!! It woulda been ratings GOLD, Jarrett! Ya can't BUY an angle like that! Then I woulda swerved everybody and put the title on Judy Bagwell! Then Judy would have a menage a trois on Nitro with Scott Hall and a midget! We coulda hired TAZZ!! I'm a fucking genius!!

Storm: Riiiiiiight.

Meanwhile, Ric Flair has found the XFL report and mailed it to the stockholders. WWF stock plummeted 12 points, then gained them all back, then lost them, then gained them...Ric Flair began WALKING. In a WWF Office...

HHH: Steph, Ric Flair is here!!

Stephanie: Really? He's kind of old...Ohh! I've got it! We'll do a gimmick where I'm banging him to make daddy jealous with him banging Trish and all! Ummm...Then, we'll do an angle with Vince and Flair falling in love and

skipping through a field of roses...

Hunter kicks over the desk.

HHH: Get out of here, Paterson.

Paterson: Geez, Hunter, I'm just trying to book a good angle.

Elsewhere...

Angle: Esse?!? Esse Rios? Are you in here?

Tony: It's KURT ANGLE!! KURT ANGLE IS HERE TONIGHT!!!

Angle: Who are you?

Tony: Umm...We're the Spanish Announcers. Que latrina es?

Angle: Whatever. Have you seen, Esse Rios?

Stevie: He's goin' to the top, Tony!!

Angle: Thanks, but my name's not "Tony". Say, why are our Spanish announcers a fat white guy and a big black guy?

Stevie spots an old copy of WWF Magazine

Stevie: Kwang! It's Kwang!!

Tony: I think we should be going. Stevie...I mean...Pedro, let's go to the gift shop for a little bit.

<Stevie and Tony leave a very puzzled Kurt Angle, and a vibrating cell phone behind>

Storm: They're not answering.

Bischoff: Hey! Are you dialing right? Try speed dial!!

Storm hits the speed dial on the cell phone.

Jimmy Baron: This is Jimmy Baron with WCW Road Report. I made it all the way over here to Antarctica, but the scientists tell me that there's no Nitro scheduled for here. I'm freezing! What's going on!?!?!

Storm: Um...Er...Stay there. We'll let you know.

Baron: This isn't about all the times I tried calling in to Nitro and Thunder collect is it? I'm sorry! HELP ME!! THE PENGUINS ARE TRYING TO KILL ME!!

Storm hangs up. Suddenly, a truck pulls up to the dumpster...

Duke Droese: Live the gimmick. That's what Vince always said. That's why he fired me...I wasn't "living the gimmick". Well, I'm ready to show Vince that I can live the gimmick! I'm ready to come back! I'm ready to be a star. I'm ready to empty your trash!

Bischoff: Droese! DROESE!! Don't you come near us! Everybody knows that all you need to do to get pushed in the WWF is rub the right executives the right way (winks). Blow them away! Suck up! (winks again)

Droese: Live the gimmick, Duke. Live the gimmick.

Duke slams the lid shut and locks it...

Storm frantically begins dialing again. Meanwhile, at the Los SuperAstros set...

Tony: Boy, that was a close one, Stevie Ray! We almost got killed by Kurt Angle!

Stevie: Ten time tag team champions, Tony!

The cell phone begins vibrating again.

Tony: This reminds me of that funny noise in my bedroom...Hey! It's the phone! Pick it up, Stevie!!

Stevie: (Picking up the phone) Suckas gots to know!

Storm: Thank, God! Stevie! Come down here and help us! We're in the dumpster by the loading docks...

Stevie: Tony! Tony!

Stevie runs out and hits Duke with the slap jack. Duke doesn't sell. Stevie shoot kicks Duke in the balls.

Droese: OWW!! HEY!! That's not upholding kayfabe! Shit! I said kayfabe! That's not living the gimmick! Dammit! Now McMahon will never hire me, I've gotta go back to working high schools in Florida...

(Duke climbs into his garbage truck and begins driving back to Miami)

Jarrett: Thank's for saving us there, slappy! Now let's slap on out of here. Where's Flair?

Flair is in a corridor strutting after having temporarily gotten the better of McMahon...

Flair: WHOO! I'm the Man! SYLE AND PROFILE WHOO!

HHH: Is that right, Flair? Well I AM THE GAME. And I am THAT DAMN GOOD!

Flair: Is that right, fat boy? Well tonight! Right here! I'm going to challenge you! Tonight the WWF is going down. I'm going over you boy!

HHH: I don't think so, Flair. I'm the master of politics in booking! I'm going over.

Flair: Uh, uh! You're tapping out to the figure WHOO! Four.

HHH: No, no, no, no. I'll reach the ropes. Then I'll Pedigree you!

Flair: Dammit! Wait! Foot on the ropes!!

Triple H begins seething...Meanwhile, near by...

Nash: YOU KNOW...Hunter's really getting good at this politics thing.

Hall: Yeah, but shouldn't you be cheering for Flair? I mean you work for WCW.

Nash: But what about the Kliq, Scotty?

Hall: Oh, yeah. Pass the tequila.

Nash: Don't you think that you should stop drinking?

Hall: Hey, I'll stop when the party stops.

Nash: Party? What party?

Hall: The one down there.

Nash: Down where?

Hall: (doing the crotch chop) Down there!

Hall and Nash high five, somewhere, Bret Hart and Bill Goldberg are deeply offended. Elsewhere the gang is now wandering the halls of Titan Towers...

Bischoff: Flair? Ric?!

Russo: Flaiya?! FLAIYA?! I want to screw ya dauta, Ric!

Out of nowhere Kanyon runs in and Diamond Cuts Russo...

Kanyon: BANG!

<Kanyon exits>

Jarrett: I think I just saw Al Snow going down that hall. I'm going to go slap that slappy. Come on, Mike.

<Jarrett and Awesome go running after Al Snow>

Bischoff: Shit! Jarrett, Awesome! Get back here! Dammit. Let's go try to find Flair.

Storm: Um...Boss...We've got a problem...

Rounding the corner is Kai En Tai.

Bischoff: Geez, Lance, It's just Kai En Tai.

Taka: I'm sure by now, you silly fools know that we aren't JUST KAI EN TAI, We are EEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLL!

Funaki: INDEED!

Storm and Bischoff have no trouble fending off Kai En Tai, however, eventually, they get backed up to a dead end. Suddenly, Edge and Christian run out and nail Storm with a "Con-chair-to".

Edge: Rock on! We totally showed fellow Canadian Lance Storm!

Christian: That totally reeks of awesomness!

La Parka: Ok, that does it! I was willing to sit and watch Kai En Tai steal my gimmick, but by the EEEEEVIIIIIL Skull of Skeletor, I'm not going to let you do my chair gimmick any more! Then, when I'm done, I'll pour two, one for me and one for my HOMIEZ!!

La Parka doles out chairshots to E+C and Kai En Tai and Bischoff and Storm run off to find Flair. As they approach the lobby, they run into Jarrett and Awesome.

Jarrett: Hey, slappys!

Bischoff: What happened with you and Snow?

Jarrett: Oh, never mind, it was just Paterson in a wig.

Bischoff: Oh.

Storm: My God! It's Ric!!

The gang turns to see Flair and Triple H arguing over the stipulations of their match.

HHH: It'll be a retirement match!

Flair: Fine! But it'll be FIRST (whoo!) BLOOD!!

HHH: Fine. But the heels always win first blood matches. We'll both open each other up but the ref see you bleeding first. Then, I'll win. You retire.

Flair: No! No! DUSTY FINISH!! I'll have a second ref run out and reverse the decision!

HHH: Fine, I'll have the first ref restart the match! Standard rules. Pedigree, pin. You're too old to hang with me, Ric.

Flair: Dammit! DAMMIT!!! Fine, Hunter. You got me. I'm retired. Bischoff! I quit. Hear me, Bischoff?! I QUIT! I'm sick of this damn business. I'm gonna go run for governor of North Carolina again. WHOO!

<Flair walks off muttering to himself about "Lt. Governor Arn Anderson">

Bischoff: Shit! Flair's gone crazy again!

HHH: Now, I'm gonna beat your ass too, Bischoff...

La Parka whacks HHH over the head with the chair, and begins dancing...

Storm: Let's go!!

<The WCW gang run off to their rental with Tony and Stevie waddling after them...>

Tony: This has been the most exciting adventure in the history of adventures! Stay tuned for more right after this!!

Stevie: What's with all them yaks, Tony?

Commercial for Weider Muscle Builder. HHH and a young boy discuss the fruits of standing half naked in a locker room.

XFL Comercial: They Hate We.

WCW The Revenge of Greedy Sins...You'll never believe what will happen when we change our voiceovers for PPVs.

...to be continued...