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NOSTALGIA
Part 2
I'm back for another round of nostalgia, because the response to last
week's column was generally good. First off I want to say thanks to Mike
for refreshing my memory of a few of these guys.... once the name comes
back to you everything else just falls into place. Enough introduction,
anyway.......... let's get to it.
REPO MAN. Known today as Barry Darsow in WCW, this was the second of
three gimmicks for the man, the first being Smash with Demolition. Repo
Man wore a grey outfit covered in "tire tracks" and "snuck" to the ring,
and amazingly many times his opponent didn't see him, allowing him to
get in the first blow. He obviously wasn't hidden well enough, because
he lost nearly every match he fought. The highlight of the gimmick was
probably when he attacked the British Bulldog was a rope and choked him
until he passed out, setting up a feud that Repo, alas, lost.
TUGBOAT. One of the two identities assumed in the WWF. This one was
immediately followed by Typhoon, who went on to have some degree of
success teamed with Earthquake to form the Natural Disasters. Tugboat,
on the other hand, looked too silly to be taken seriously. The man
wrestled dressed as a SAILOR, even walking to the ring wearing one of
those sailor hats that everyone makes out of newspaper (lucky for him,
he had a REAL one). They tried to get him over by saying he was Hulk
Hogan's good friend, but Earthquake took him out of the picture quick
enough with a few Earthquake splashes. The gimmick was killed when
Earthquake offered him a spot in a tag team, and Tugboat became Typhoon,
an only slightly less laughable figure in the ring.
KWANG. He's Savio Vega, in case you didn't know. Kwang was "recruited"
by Harvey Wippleman, wore a mask, spit green stuff into his opponent's
face all the time and landed in a feud with a former man of Wippleman's,
Adam Bomb, who wiped the mat with him. Kwang left soon after and was
replaced by Savio Vega, who in his first appearance did more than Kwang
in his entire WWF tenure by reaching the finals of the King of the Ring.
THE STALKER. Barry Windham would like to forget this one. The Stalker
thought he was in the war, and must have left the country to fight
somewhere else soon after entering the WWF, because he was only around a
few months.
DOINK. I think most people remember Doink, or at least have heard of
him. Doink was the clown of the WWF, and he was introduced as a
performer who followed the WWF around for countless weeks playing with
the children of the audience. Eventually his tricks began to reek of a
darker nature, until Crush (the Hawaiian version) scolded him for it.
When Crush turned around Doink plunked him with his "cast", hitting him
repeatedly and apparently leaving him with a concussion and putting him
out of action for a few months. Crush would return, and lose, to Doink,
with help from a second Doink (don't ask) and soon after the clown would
turn face, and fall into a feud with Bam Bam Bigelow. He introduced
three mini clowns, first Dink, then Wink and Pink for one time
appearances, and they battled Jerry Lawler and his little kings, Queasy,
Sleazy and Cheesy, in a forgettable battle at Survivor Series. Doink
left soon after, without ever laying hands on WWF gold.
GIANT GONZALEZ. After an unsuccessful tenure in WCW, he experienced an
even worse one in the WWF. People were initially amazed, because of his
unbelievable size and the fact that he mauled the Undertaker at Royal
Rumble '93. Then he began to wrestle. After a few matches of plodding
around, choking, chopping and some of the goofiest selling of moves ever
seen, the Undertaker planted him at SummerSlam that year and we
thankfully never had to see him wrestle again.
JACOB AND ELI BLU. These guys were big but had no charisma. They
dressed a little like Berzerker look alikes, but nobody could ever tell
them apart and their size didn't matter because they always lost.
Another team to forget about.
WELL DUNN. Timothy Well and Stephen Dunn, hence the name. They were
managed by Harvey Wippleman, and were another one of those teams that
did nothing in their WWF stay. The lips on their outfits are kinda like
the ones Billy Gunn exhibits today, but these guys were no New Age
Outlaws.
DEAN DOUGLAS. It's not hard to tell this guy was Shane Douglas. Dean
didn't swear, though, he taught people, from the backstage area, on a
chalkboard. When somebody would lose, he would point out what went
wrong, until he met up with Razor Ramon. Dean tried to tell him why he
lost his match, and Razor popped him. Dean went on to claim the
Intercontinental Title from Shawn Michaels without actually beating him
because Michaels didn't want to job, and was destroyed by Ramon ten
minutes later for the belt. Welcome to the WWF, Dean.
MANTAUR. The guy was built like Bam Bam Bigelow, sort of, but the
gimmick didn't quite pan out. He was supposed to have been some ancient
warrior from times past, who loved to charge at people and stamp the
ground and act like he was a bull. It didn't work.
DUKE "THE DUMPSTER" DROESE. Oh yes, the trashman. Duke told us that he
was a trash collector who wanted to "take out the trash" in the WWF,
which meant beating up jobbers until he faced some real competition, and
then he would be horribly outmatched. His career didn't take off
because: a) he had a stupid gimmick, b) he exhibited the intelligence of
a staple gun, c) he was humiliated by Jerry Lawler in his first real
feud or d) all of the above. Congratulations to those who chose d, pick
up your prize package on the way out.
ADAM BOMB. Known today as Wrath in WCW, Adam hailed from Three Mile
Island, and we were told he was a walking nuclear power plant. When he
made his debut in the Federation he was managed by Johnny Polo (now
Raven), and then by Harvey Wippleman, before going on by himself when he
turned face. He actually wasn't a completely bad wrestler, he just
didn't get the push he needed..... good thing he's getting that push now
in WCW.
THE BEVERLY BROTHERS. From Shaker Heights, Ohio, Beau and Blake, the
Beverly Brothers, were typical spoiled rich kids. They wrestled in
matching purple tights and loved double team moves behind the ref's
back, but they never touched tag team gold in their tenure in the WWF.
On a side note, they were managed by.........
THE GENIUS. Probably best known for his poetry, which he would read
before each match, and which he would keep on a metal scroll which would
frequently meet an opponent's head. The Genius wrestled for a while
without much success, before turning to managing, which he did without
much success. Unfortunately The World's Smartest Man wasn't smart enough
to think of some winning strategy for the Beverly Brothers.
As an example of my laziness, that's all I'm going to write this week,
despite the fact that I can name at least twelve more guys that I can
add to this list. Why am I stopping now? Because now I don't have to
think up a topic for NEXT week......... I'll just finish up with
Nostalgia, Part 3. As always, feedback is desired, appreciated and
always considered.
Matt "Blackjack" Hayden
freelance
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