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Hi there! Matt sent me this last Monday but he ALSO sent me the Nitro
column at the almost the same time. Since those were really funny, I put them
up first and pushed this back. Then he sent me another one, so I pushed this
back again. Now it's a week later and I'm afraid if I don't put this up now,
he'll send me another funny Nitro column. ;-) So, quick, read this! I'm
sure Matt will be back with something new really soon now. - CRZ
RANDOM THOUGHTS
The only thing in my mind this week are some random thoughts, so I think
I'll get them out of my head..........
Sid's winning streak. I know, everyone is talking about it
negatively, and, well, I'm no different. What pisses me off is how, like
always, Tony doesn't act like there's anything unusual about Sid being
awarded victories for attacking other wrestlers during their match. (
"Here comes Sid - powerbomb on Mikey Whipwreck! Get in there Dickenson -
counting the pinfall on Whipwreck - 1-2-3! There's another one for Sid!)
The question is, how fast will he reach Goldberg's record? He should
interfere in some Luchadore six-man tag matches to really boost himself
quick.
Jericho's feud with the Road Dogg. I thought when Jericho interrupted
The Rock, that he would feud with him, by interfering in his SummerSlam
match with Mr. Ass. Then, when he interrupted the Undertaker I expected
this to go on for several weeks. Now it appears he's raised the ire of
James and may feud with him a while. The best part is this will benefit
both men. James is great at selling and getting guys over and Jericho
works well with him also. The Road Dogg's status will rise with this
feud, not just Jericho's. Besides, there's lots of time down the road
for a Jericho/Rock feud.
a spot I'm sick of seeing: when Steve Austin drags a guy towards the
ringpost, and just before he can slam his knee into the post, the guy
shoves him backwards into the crowd. Him and the Undertaker have to have
done it ten times.
remember Todd Pettingill? He interviewed wrestlers backstage and
hosted WWF Mania. Think of him as the Michael Cole of 1992. And '93, '94
and '95. One of the most irritating things I ever remember him doing is
during the 1995 Royal Rumble. About a half dozen times, he got one half
of the crowd to shout "Royal!" and the other half to shout "Rumble!"
This was a pay-per-view event, let me remind you. The fans were actually
enthusiastic about it too.
In the late 80's, early 90's, did you ever take a look at the signs
being held up at WWF events? "I like Macho Man". "WWF + Philadelphia = A
Great Team!". "Hulk Hogan". That's when you saw signs at all.
Remember Duke "The Dumpster" Droese? If not, don't feel bad. I
remember the guy fighting on Superstars every week. Before he would
finish off the ham'n'egger, he would shout "Time to take out the
trash!!", and actually insisted he was a real garbageman on the side.
Kids used to write into WWF Magazine and ask if he'd be picking up trash
in their neighborhood anytime soon.
Really bad spot: Wrestlemania VIII, tag team title match between the
Natural Disasters and Money Inc. Typhoon is REALLY making an effort to
get himself over the top rope, but by the time he does..... the drama is
gone.
Let's see. Here in Canada on TSN, "ass" is beeped most times in the
evening edition, but if it's said in Mr. Ass, it sometimes slips by.
"Asshole" is OK in a chant, but not directly from a wrestler, unless
it's the late night edition. Ditto for "ass", it's allowed on the late
night show but not the evening one. "Crap" is sometimes caught, but
"monkey piss" always is. "Bitch" is always beeped, as in "Ungrateful
bitch!", but not always in "That son-of-a-bitch!" Finally, "balls" is a
definite no-no, kinda like how "Bite me" is strictly forbidden on WCW.
Who's keeping track?
It's kinda funny how WCW gets wrestlers with a lot of potential from
other companies and always manages to kill any heat or momentum they had
when leaving their former organization. Nice job there to capitalize on
the double-cross with Bret Hart. Then don't let the fans trust him by
having him turn every week. Hell, let him submit to the Torture Rack.
Maybe let him win the US Title but quickly lose it to Roddy Piper. Or
how about pitting him against Van Hammer and Disco Inferno while keeping
him away from the big boys? No, that would be so.......... wait.......
never mind. Mikey Whipwreck? SHANE DOUGLAS??????????? Ha ha ha.
It's almost funny how Hogan can even sell the lame chairshots he's
received over the past month. The chairshot delivered by Nash a few
weeks back, Hogan actually bladed himself, albeit a little
early...........
Kidman in an angle with the Hardy Boyz and Edge/Christian? Could be a
reality soon if the rumors are true. I for one think there's a ton of
potential there.
When was the last time Al Snow did the Snowplow? Jeff Jarrett the
figure four (NOT counting the one on Ben Stiller)? Or Ken Shamrock the
Ankle Lock? Just wondering.
Interesting how Steve Blackman has gotten his ass beaten in the last
two PPVs by Shamrock (sorry CRZ), but no mention of either loss has been
made on Raw.
For some reason, there's nothing I enjoy more than a nice bump into
the entrance steps. I don't know, maybe it's the sound, but it always
looks pretty good, unless the guy is *scared*. Then, it sucks.
It really pisses me off that CRZ is so damn biased. He gives WCW too
much credit.
Nice way to make the European Title somewhat interesting. Plus, now
you don't have Jarrett holding a strap that's useless to him, like the
Euro title was to Shawn Michaels when he was also the WWF Champion.
Yep, Kane is definitely faster than before. I guess his human side
isn't too bad, but I hope he doesn't: 1) Start talking regularly and 2)
Take off the mask. Leave some mystique there. Just a thought: picture
X-Pac and Kane coming down to the combined entrance theme like usual,
but SWITCHING ROLES. Kane jumping around on the ramp while X-Pac strides
menacingly. Then Kane springs over the top rope and X-Pac simply steps
over them. Finally, Kane does several crotch chops, including the
jumping one at the end, whileX-Pac ignites the fire.
Is there anybody who doesn't like seeing Shane bumped around like
that? That match at SummerSlam was awesome, not only because of the
great spots but also because of the inclusion of both the Posse and the
Stooges to the mix. I certainly didn't expect a corkscrew moonsault
attempt, either.
I agree with everyone that the new ring announcer has got to go, due
to the mispronunciation of Viscera and the claim that the tag team match
was "scheduled for one round". Perhaps she's a cousin of Sable.
A lot of fans are having trouble catching on to the Road Dogg's new
speech. When he starts the part, "I'm T to that R to that U to that
E........" you can notice a significant decrease in the amount of voices
following along.
Speaking of intro speeches, when the Rock says, "If ya
smeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelll.......what the Rock......" a bunch of people
ALWAYS say "is cookin" way before The Rock does. Ha ha ha.
Looks like Triple H and The Rock are feuding for the 63rd time this
year. They work well together, but..............
Personally, I don't like doing these random thought things, but I did
feel like it this week. I'm more into sticking with one topic during a
column, like a parody, or some kind of flashback. If you have any
comments, you could mail me at
wrestling_writer_4x@yahoo.com.
And that's it.
Thanks,
Matt "Blackjack" Hayden
freelance
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