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/wrestling /guests /Hauser |
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/wrestling /guests /Hauser |
| Guest Columns | Dave Hauser |
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THE NITRO THAT ROARED AT 7.0 WCW has a golden opporunity with the tennis US Open lurking ahead to score some big ratings and to convert some fans. The US Open is being held in Flushing Meadows right down the road from the 8/30 Nitro which is at the Nassau Coliseum, right here on Long Island. WCW needs to takes some serious chances and grow some balls and put on the shows that they are capable of putting on with the depth of the roster. Here is how I would book Nitro on 8/30 given the current storylines and changing as much as humanly can be changed in one evening. The show opens up and we hear the classic Ric Flair music and he walks down the aisle in an Armani suit and then plays to the crowd, then he grabs the microphone and sits down in the vacant broadcasting area. Flair then says that after 25 years in the business he has retired and will now be the commentator on Nitro, he then builds up to no end the legendary Gordon Solie who comes to the ring and takes a seat beside Flair and they become the new broadcast team (heenan and Schiavone have been canned) Sid walks down the aisle saying he is 68-0 and acts like a poor man's Austin and is totally not convincing. He hits the ring and then we hear the old drum roll music of Bill Goldberg. Goldberg comes out and wipes Sid out in less than 10 seconds and Sid no longer reigns in squirrel world. As Goldberg is celebrating, the pornographic sounds of the Wolfpac music play and Kevin Nash and Scott Hall come out and start to beat down Goldberg, Sid gets up and helps Goldberg fend off Nash and Hall. Goldberg announces that Sid is now his bodyguard. Sid talks about being alongside Goldberg the whole time and that this whole act was to prove something to Goldberg. He needed to infiltrate the minds of Goldberg's enemies (This is done to provide storyline continuity to avoid random booking) After commericals, it is announced at Fall Brawl that the Outsiders will face Goldberg and Sid (The Conquerors) The Cat comes out with a scale and Sonny Ono and announces that the cruiserweight division is a sham. He goes on to talk about how Rey Mysterio is a paper champion that has lost all his value and his mask by being a friend of Konnan's. Cat gets major heel heat (but wins over Internet minds). Rey comes out and the Cruiserweight title is on the line. Rey dominates the Cat, but the Cat has a friend in WCW finally as the underpushed Norman Smiley comes out and buries Rey with a piledriver when Johnny Boone is not looking. Cat then pins Rey and wins the cruiserweight title. (The Cat will have a 16 month reign with this belt much like Honky Tonk Man in WWF with the IC title. Cat will have no clean wins. WCW will elevated Kidman and Eddie Guerrero out of the division and Cat will get to be used as a demigogue in this division, making all the booking decisions on matches.) JJ Dillon comes to the ring and announces that he has a boss. That boss turns out to be none other than new WCW President Arn Anderson. Arn then plays to the crowd with mixed reaction, and announces that the worst thing for wrestling is to watch Hulk Hogan who is older than Arn wrestle with a gimp leg and he promises to Hulk that he will make his life easier by booking him in a title defense tonight against Raven in a Raven rules match. Raven then comes out with Insane Clown Posse, and Vampiro and announces that the Dead Pool has gotten bigger. He then announces that Sandman (comes out to Enter Sandman), Berlyn, Mikey Whipwreck, and Disco Inferno have joined his fine stable. Raven says that tonights match against Hogan will be a lumberjack match, and that all the lumberjacks are in the ring. Hogan is mystified and ArnAnderson seconds Raven's requests, and the title match is booked for later. Harlem Heat then put the title on the line against the Gay-Lords. Lenny and Lodi will fight the juggernaut. Heat dominate the match but from out of nowhere comes Dustin Runnels, who hits Stevie Ray with Brass knuckles and then Lenny Lane pins Stevie Ray for the win. The Gay guys get over and Dustin Runnels is now their manager until he can wrestle again. Time for Piper's Reality Check, and his guest today is Evan Kouragis and Miss Mona. Piper really sucks up to Evan, saying that he is the greatest looking guy in the federation and has the hottest woman. Out from the back comes Buff Bagwell and Buff is not very pleased about this. Evan gets into his polite Rhonor and respectS gimmick and Buff attacks him and the 2 men feud backstage. Evan is the face as Buff turns heel. (This leads to Evan Kouragis filling the new pretty boy role in the WCW, he has Mona as his valet and they add Billy Kidman to the combination and they feud with Lenny and Lodi and of course Lenny and Lodi get aroused and everything fighting the pretty boys. Buff is seriously buried in WCW after this. TV title is on the line, Dog Faced Gremlin comes out and he looks as sloppy as ever and he must face Vampiro. Vampiro destroys DFG with the expanded Dead Pool's Help. Vamp has the title leading to nice matches with Saturn and Kanyon for this belt down the road. DFG is also depushed. Big Poppa Pump gets on the microphone and has pissed off the entire crowd. Complains about New York and then picks on Bret Hart. He calls Bret a Rhas-beenS a whining wussy, makes fun of Wrestling with Shadows, berates his fat unattractive wife, and calls Stu Hart a poor man's Bischoff. Bret Hart comes out and is pissed. Hart goes to attack Scott Steiner but then the Outsiders and the DFG come out brutalize Brett. The goal here is to get Brett into a feud before winning the world gold. Sting, Goldberg and Sid help Bret out here and it sets up a 4 on 4 match on a later Nitro. US title is on the line and Arn Anderson shakes Benoit's hand pre-match and then tells him good luck as WCW has finally spent some great money for a solid one night performer and that man being Jushin Liger. Reports are that he was paid 50 grand for a one night appearance, much cheaper than Kiss or Chad Brock. This match goes 40 minutes before Benoit wakes up after 10 minutes of non stop Liger offense to get the diving headbutt and the crippler cross-face. After the match both men shake hands before they are confronted by 2 other masked Japanese imports. This sets up a Liger/Benoit vs mystery men match at the PPV. The next match is Douglas, Malenko, and Saturn fighting the team of La Parka, Blitzkrieg and Juvi. The match is a clean 15 minute match with Malenko putting La Parka in the Texas Cloverleaf in the end. The revolution remain an intact group of 4 until Shane gets jealous of Benoit and Shane turns on them. Macho Man comes out and dares anybody in the building to find a hotter chick than Gorgeous George, from out of the back comes David Flair with Torrie, then comes Evan Kouragis with Mona, then comes Lex Luger with Elizabeth, then comes Lenny with Lodi, there is a mess in the ring, then Marc Mero comes out with Sable and then Savage goes bonkers and says he wants a match with Mero at the PPV and the winner gets the woman of his choice. The Triad then make their way to the ring and start going off about how New Jersey is such a great state and the New York crowd is going off on them and they say that no state can compete with them in any shape or form. Arn Anderson then says that how can you say that when Minnesota has the greatest, Governor Ventura, Ric Flair, Rick Rude, Bob Bachlund and so forth. Page then says get me 3 lame gophers and I will mop the ring of them. Arn Anderson then proudly announces the new team of the Minnesota Wrecking Crew which consists of Kurt Hennig, Scott Norton, and Mike Enos. The match is actually and great and Minnesota wins Hennig buries Bigelow in the finish. This feud continues and more wrestlers get involved... Now it's main event time... The Dead Pool come out to a large portion of jeers but internet smart cheers do exist. They are all the lumberjacks in the match. Hogan comes out in the red and yellow and the match is a major beatdown of Hogan and Billy Silverman refs the match blindly and the result is Raven winning the world gold. (Hogan vanishes only to resurface with Outsiders) This Card would turn WCW around because itwould have people talking and the match quality would be there and the most important future stars would be seen as pushed. Gimmicks such as Vampiro, Cat, and Lenny/Lodi would be rewarded and many WWF fans would be interested in the program seeing that there is a mix of storylines. E-mail me what you think,... Dave Hauser freelance Mail the Author |
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