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Josh Haggard

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MOTHERF***ING BURNING HAMMER!!!
The J-Mann's weekly puro wrestling report

I've been doing some thinking lately...What would happen if wrestling went back to it's roots? If they slowly phased out storylines and bad workers and worked towards bringing an almost Puroresu style back? The WWF, though still HEAVILY relying on storylines, is beginning to show off that their wrestlers DO have talent. The WCW continually impresses us with good workers like 3 Count, Lance Storm, The Jung Dragons, Vampiro, plus many more, and mixing these guys with established stars like Sting, Nash, Steiner, Hogan, Goldberg and Jarrett. So, what WOULD happen if the old guys started to get phased out?
 
We saw the return of a man who has entertained us for many years...since I was born, really. HOOOhacksawOOOOOOOjimOOOOOOOdugganOOOOOO! came back for the first time in a while. Though he came back at the beginning of the first Russo era, his present wasn't felt and he disappeared with the WCW Television title. This time, he had his sights set on THE JEWISH MONSTER - oy, saying he sold out his country and his fans. Hacksaw was determined to make things right, and, for the first time since 1994 or '95, I marked out for Duggan. I like the guy, what can I say? It was also nice to see him again, and it's obvious the crowds stll love him. Some would say that I'm nothing but a Puro-head loser, but I DID get into wrestling when some of the old guard was in their prime, so to speak. I'm not even NECESSARILY a puro-head loser, anyway...As Patrick Barker told me, a puro-head loser believes Puro to be the above-all, end-all, greatest thing to ever happen to wrestling, the only thing that matters, and those not "enlightened" by puro are lost souls. This isn't the case with me...If you've ever talked to me, you know that I really am a down to earth kind of guy. I've been a wrestling fan all my life, and ever since 1984 these guys have entertained me. The 1994 reference? It's been a while since I was a full-fledged MARK, so to speak. Since then, I've had a good grip on the faux reality that is wrestling.
 
So, what does this have to do with what I said two paragraphs ago? To put it simply, wrestling has changed...It's changed a LOT. From a business perspective, it's changed for the better...But what about from a fan's perspective? Sure, crowds are up, it's becoming accepted by the mainstream media; you see celebrities and athletes and the like almost every week in the crowd. But what about the minority of wrestling; the Internet and all the smarts? Are we better off? I'm going to compare and contrast some major elements in Sports-Entertainment, and wrestling from the past: Workrate, Finishing Manuevers, Interviews, Fanfare, and Fan Appreciation.
 
1. WORKRATE:
SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT - Well, this is certainly debateable. Some workers are GREAT, some are sub-par. For every Chris Benoit, there's a Viscera, is how the saying goes, and it doesn't lie. You look at all the High-Flying suicide machines, like Jeff Hardy, and you can say to yourself, "WOW! He's awesome," but is he? Wrestling nowadays is just one big spot-fest, and, without proper build-up, it can leave some fans disinterested.
 
OLD-SCHOOL - Once again, this is debateable. For every Jimmy Snuka, Rick Steamboat, and Randy Savage, you had a Hogan, a Savage, a One Man Gang, etc. It's a toss-up. There were a LOT more mat wrestlers and wrestling technicians those days.
 
ADVANTAGE: Push, SLIGHT edge to Old-School
 
2. FINISHING MANUEVERS:
SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT - Well, this category has the People's Elbow and the Worm. Next.
 
OLD-SCHOOL - Yeah, they aren't as flashy, but they build-up to these moves was amazing. Remember how Arn Anderson would work over the head for his DDT? REMEMBER THE DDT? That was awesome. My FAVORITE old school move of all time (and close to the top on my list of EVERYTHING about wrestling), is how he'd fake a punch, the opponent would duck, and *BOOM!*, there's your DDT. And, the best part was the fact that it wasn't an EVERY WEEK spot...He may do it once a year. When he had the TV title, I remember how he had 15 minute TV Championship time limits...The opponent had 15 minutes to beat him, otherwise, the match was non-title. That's an AWESOME stipulation...Triple H should do that, but, with Sports-Entertainment's matches, it'd have to be a 5 minute time limit.
 
ADVANTAGE: Old School
 
3. INTERVIEWS:
SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT - They're funny, and there are a LOT of great mic workers...
 
OLD-SCHOOL - This is one of the reasons why wrestling is ridiculed by most of the media. I think a mocking quote from the Daily Show says it best: "You will taste the sweet dish of my wrath!" Too many bad mic workers outweigh the GREAT ones, like Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, etc.
 
ADVANTAGE: Sports-Entertainment
 
4. FAN APPRECIATION:
SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT - Fans don't appreciate wrestling at ALL nowadays. During Raw commercial breaks, they chant "Rocky! Rocky," during dark matches they chant "Boring!"...or "Rocky!"
 
OLD-SCHOOL - Now THERE's appreciation. The GOOD workers got over (at least, a lot of them), the BAD workers were often jobbed, in the long run, and wrestling fans CARED. No contest.
 
ADVANTAGE: Old School
 
5. FANFARE:
SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT - Going back to #4, if a wrestler can get over enough to cause THAT much anticipation for his arrival, it's almost a given that S-E will win. Plus, there's a LOT more stuff for the fans, more merchandise, lot's of interactivity with the crowd, etc. Plus, there's cursing.
 
OLD-SCHOOL - Hogan was greatly over, but not as over as The Rock. There really wasn't as much to do, as most of the audience was 10 and under. Nowadays, wrestling attracts fans of any age. Any interactivity with fans was faked, as the fans were plants...Plus, all the merchandise out there was, once again, geared toward kids.
 
ADVANTAGE: Sports-Entertainment
 
Well, it's a draw...As it should be. I like both forms of wrestling equally, as they each offer their own thing that I enjoy. So, would it be a wise idea to turn Sports-Entertainment back to wrestling? No. Would I like to see it? Probably not, to tell you the truth. Sports-Entertainment is something I still like to watch, regardless of some of the crap it puts out, and we have ways to get our fill of excellent wrestling, both Puroresu and Old-School, due to tape distributors and such. What do you think? Like I said last week, I LOVE E-mail...So send me your thoughts, and check out my website...Not necessarily in that order. I'm outta here.
 
Later,
"J-Mann" Josh Haggard
Admits to being attracted to Bugs Bunny dressed like a girl bunny

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