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Josh Haggard

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JAKKED/METAL PREVIEW
To air 13.11.99 (but taped 8.11.99)

Hello and welcome to the now weekly edition of the WWF Jakked/Metal preview. I'm your tour guide, the "J-Mann" Josh Haggard. Join me as we sail to the uncharted waters of the WWF's mid-card roster!

In our first bout, we have the returning (Rakishi) Fatu, complete with new Sumo gimmick, taking on, in what will become a trademark line of the Jakked/Metal Preview, The Unknown Jobber!

Up next, in a first for Jakked/Metal, there will be a four man Super-Heavyweight brawl (I'm guessing it's a Four-Way Dance) between "Sexual (ha!) Chocolate" Mark Henry, "Alive and Well" Viscera, "Is my feud with the Big Show considered a push?" Prince Albert, and "Don't I look like Chris Candido?" Crash Holly. Guaranteed fun for the whole family! (note: not a guarantee)

Then, we have D-Lo Brown taking on Steve Blackman. WWF.com says that "One thing is for certain...Blackman doesn't care whether the fans are alive when they leave or not, so watch out!" RUN FOR THE HILLS, MA BARKER!!!

Finally, in our (ha!) main event, we have D-Von Du-du-du-Dudley taking on "It doesn't MATTER if I can work the mike" Matt Hardy. I would look forward to this if it was The Dudleys taking on The Hardys, but you can't always get what you want...BUT IF YOU TRY SOMETIMES...

Plus: Crap that happened last week. Longtime Jakked/Metal viewers know what I'm talking about.

"J-Mann" Josh Haggard
Was Shaquilla O'Neal high when he said Charles Barkley instigated that fight?

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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission