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Josh Haggard

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IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT I THINK!

Well, where do I begin? Ah yes, introductions. I'm the newest member to [slash] Wrestling, I am the "J-Mann" Josh Haggard, and welcome to the first edition of "It Doesn't Matter What I Think!" (Interesting name for an opinions column, huh?) I've been watching wrestling ever since I was able to comprehend that the balding blonde guy was Hulk Hogan (no, I wasn't born in the late 1800's). :) I'm actually only 15 (insert your favorite "dumb young mark" joke here), and have watched wrestling my entire life, with a brief hiatus from around the time Steve Austin won the King Of The Ring (1997??) to the summer of 1998. Around that time just about every one I knew was watching wrestling and were quoting Austin 3:16 and DX...To be honest, I was intrigued. I tuned in again and haven't looked back since.

So, here I am writing my first column. I guess I should explain the column's format before I get to my first topic. Sometimes you'll see something like this: . While I write these columns, I am listening to my vast array of wrestling theme musics from the 80's and 90's, and when the next song plays, I'll address that in my column. It's nothing, really, but I think it's an original idea, and it adds a bit of a new twist to an otherwise boring column...I guess. Are you ready? Well then, let's begin.

<Justin Credible's theme (Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck) playing. Sure takes it a little while to get good, doesn't it?>

Allright, here we go. This first column is a rebuttal to Bret Hart's September 18, 1999 "Bret Hart's Sharpshooter" column.

The boxing world is saddened by the death of super-middleweight Randie Carver. Carver was 25. It happened in Kansas City.
The show did not go on.
The fans did not riot.
So much for Vince McMahon's lame excuse that he had no choice but to go on with the show as soon as they wiped Owen off the mat or else the fans would riot. Only an idiot would believe that.


Bret, did you even see what happened? From what I heard, Owen didn't land in the ring, but rather the arena floor. Anyway, I believe that the show had to go on. Sure, fans wouldn't have rioted, but there were probably many fans that would've been disappointed. Before you click "Send" on the nasty e-mail you just wrote me about not being sensitive about Owen: I was deeply saddened by Owen's death. I was taking a break from studying for finals looking for the results of the PPV and saw that he had been injured. I didn't bother to read the entire report and shrugged it off as a minor injury, and that he'd be okay. I had to tape the RAW the next night (I really had to bear down and study for finals), and would occasionally break from my studies to see what was happening. It was then I found out the extent of his injuries. I saw the opening and the entire roster was out there. I was wondering what the hell was going on, then Howard Finkel announced that there would be a 10 bell salute to honor the life of Owen Hart. I broke down crying. I couldn't believe Owen was taken away from us. The little Canadian we used to call "Nugget" was gone. Owen was a great man. Let me tell you a great memory I had of Owen: At a house show, when he was still teaming with Yokozuna, my friend and I had been chanting "King of Harts, King of Harts!" the entire match. Right before the match ended, while he was standing on the apron, he looked over at us (we were in the front row), and smiled and winked. It was great. But I digress...

<Mean Street Posse theme playing. Bueno!>

A lot of people have kindly commented to me that I've come back in great shape. I don't mind admitting that I've worked hard at it. I'm not a kid any more, but I wasn't going to come back huffing and puffing with my belly bulging and my tongue hanging out like a panting dog, as some wrestlers recently have. (I had a legitimate injury with surgery and the scars to prove it.)

<New Brood theme playing- Yes!>

Now, I'm not too bright, and please e-mail me with your thoughts about the above statement, but is this supposed to be a big F*** You to the British Bulldog? I think his column where he said that Davey Boy stabbed him in the back and that he would run over his sister if he saw her shows what kind of a man Bret Hart really is. Davey Boy had to pay a $100,000 fine for leaving the WWF to follow Bret to WCW, and he had to accept a mid-card jobber role. He was then injured in the WCW and was told he would never wrestle again, and I believe he was fired from the WCW. He went to the WWF where he could work, and Bret calls him a back stabber. Don't get me wrong, what Vinny Mac did to Bret was terrible, but Bret should not still be going on about the infamous screw job two years later. Get over it, Bret!

<Lex Luger's theme playing- Hmm...not bad. I can live with it.>

One thing I know is that my son, Dallas, who is a big Insane Clown Posse fan, will be blown away when he sees me rapping with the Rascalz.

This is just too easy. Isn't this the same guy talking about how the WWF has stepped over the boundaries of good taste and blah blah blah? Yet he still lets his son listen to ICP, who are a couple of the biggest A-Holes on the planet, AND their music is definently not appropriate for his son Dallas (who I believe is my age).

<Original Brood theme playing- (In Mr. Burns' voice: Ex-Cell-Ent.)>

Allrighty then, that about wraps up my column for this week...If you would like to e-mail me, my address is jmann@ev1.net. I look forward to your comments! THANKS FOR READING!

"J-Mann" Josh Haggard
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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission