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/wrestling /guests /Green |
| Guest Columns | Morgan Green |
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OVERHEARD Morgan Green: i got letters? wow!!! CRZ: so yah gonna print them?... Morgan Green: hmmm.. nah. i lied, i got one letter, hi Clint! yeah! uh... cool! really? me too! down to business... welcome to "overheard" the 'humor' column that thinks its an opinion column... Lillian Garcia: ladies and gentlemen, making his way to the ring.... THE RAWWWWWWWW!!!! *music*: "the Rawww's layin the Smack Down" Lillian Garcia: and his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Paww Barroww, he is one half of the WWF European Champions! THE UNDERTAKE MAN!!! Undertaker: grrr.... evil death lord of darkness.. oh yeah, hey big man, this girl isnt worthy to introduce me, your new quest is to disable her vocal cord... Big Show: i dunno about this.... Lillian Garcia: this contest is scheduled for one inning!! Shane McMahon: *whisper*whisper*one fall*whisper Lillian Garcia: ONE FAWWW! ONE FAWWW! Big Show: okay sure, i'll do it... only if i can wear those nice tight little trunks with my name written over my big fat goofy bum Undertaker: done.. and i mean DONE! Midian: the WWF has pushed me into a corner, which is something i just dont like, so i've gone and found a tag team partner... without further notice for you to change your channel, i give you..... MIDEON!!!!! Mideon: thank you, thank you very much! Midian: now we havent gotten along lately, seeing as both of us tag with Viscera and he cant make up his damn mind... Mideon: thats all behind us now... Midian: i love you Mideon: i love you too *hug* Girls in the crowd: AWWWW!!! *pop* WHOOOOO!!!!! Test: damn, there goes my fanbase... back to the job squad for me... Steph: but I *LOVE* you, i really really *LOOOOOVE* you Test: shut up Big Bossman: heres yer stupid dog Al Snow: thanks! by mistake i put Val Venis' phone number on my flyer... what was i thinking? Big Bossman: oh wait a sec... heres' your underground fanbase... Al Snow: wow! thanks! i was wondering where that went! Random Internet Reporter, lets call him "Bob": hey Eric, why did the Hummer angle get scrapped? Eric Bischoff: it didnt. NWO Sting was the driver. that angle ended. It was great and everyone liked it. Oh, and I'm a fantastic booker and everyone backstage respects me. you can print that. yep. *later that day* Hulk Hogan: hey brother, can i be the Hummer driver? Eric Bischoff: sure, why not? Davey Boy Smith: i'm back! Bret Hart: i'm gonna run you oever with my car. Davey Boy Smith: no you won't Bret Hart: no... no i won't. but i'll trash you in my totally non-pretentious and completely non-self indulgent column. that'll learn ya. Stu Hart: but Bret, i support Davey. Diana Hart: me too Jim Neidhart: me too! *hahahahahahaha* me too! *hahahahahahaha* Bret Hart: ALL of you can go to hell! do whatever i do!! follow me everywhere! i'm important! *sniff* nobody likes me... i think i'll go make a movie about it... Herb Kunze: i hate everything. why do i bother with wrestling? Morgan Green: beats me... Herb Kunze: i'm just so cynical about EVERYBODY. i bet i'm real difficult to be around and was picked on in high school a lot. Morgan Green: interesting... Herb Kunze: *sigh* Jim Ross: 1...2...3!!!! Mankind loses!! Triple H is your new WWF Champion!!! Lillian Garcia: ladiemen and gentlies! your new champion, Triple H: Hollywood Hulk Hogan!!! Tony Chimel: oh god... Hollywood Hulk Hogan: hold on brother, i think she's on to something... maybe when i'm done "3 ninjas 8: high noon at the White Castle of Fear" i'll look into it... Tony Chimel: white castle of fear? Hollywood Hulk Hogan: yeah... i'm pathetic Bischoff: no more musical acts! Dennis Rodman: but i just started a band... Bischoff: well.. okay, one more... Curt Henning: what about us? we just got Nikoli Volkoff, Dick Togo, Kurrgan and Jacques Rougeau to join the West Texas Rednecks and we want to sing "rocky mountain high" Bischoff: sure!! ICP: what about us? yo yo yo G wiggety wck juggalo! Bischoff: uh.. sure... Gene Simmons: can we sing again? it was fun! Peter Criss: and i can wrestle too! i'll take on Ernest Miller for the rights to the "Cat" gimmick! Bischoff: sure, but no more celebrities or musical acts on Nitro. we're serious this time... Jay Leno: hey Eric, i was thinking... (the Sid saga from last week - unfortunately - continues) Tony Schiavone: are we on the air? hey! i'm still a crappy commentator! and we're back! Sid: UNGGGGHHH!! ahhhh... Sid has just taken a dump for victory 1999 - or something!!! he's about to hit the big 2000!!! and then we'll squash him to Bill Goldberg! arent our booking tactics smart?!!! i dont think so but i'll say they are!! over to you, Bobby!!! Bobby Heenan: hi Sid: SCREEYIIPPPE!!!!!!!! Tony Schiavone: OOOO thats gotta hurt!! Sid just got himself caught in his zipper!!!! Bobby Heenan: what a ham'n'egger Tony Schiavone: you really think so, Brain? Bobby Heenan: no, i just dont have any other cool phrases. Tony Schiavone: and i dont even have one good one!!! i am the worst commentator in THE HISTORY OF OUR SPORT!!! well, i guess that Sid is now 1999-1, with this crushing defeat to a Calvin Klein jeans zipper.. Bobby Heenan: those are strong jeans, Tony Tony Schiavone: i've just received word.. from CHARLES ROBINSON...that while Sid DID catch himself with his zipper, he DID break the zipper in the process before it tore into his skin... so the decision has been reversed!!!! Bobby Heenan: this makes no sense... Tony Schiavone: WHO CARES?!!! 2000-0! he really IS the millenium man! unlike that other more talented, charismatic wrestler on that XXX evil child corrupting channel! by the way! Triple H is going to win so watch our show!! especially now that we get to continue this angle which has been unanimously declared a big pile of stinking dog crap! hooray! and now! he'res HANSON!!! to debut the new member of the West Texas Rednecks in song!!! GOODNIGHT!!! Morgan Green freelance Mail the Author |
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