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| Guest Columns | GKLIVER |
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A Very Special Column: Happy Birthday Hulk Hogan! On August 11, 1953, Terrence Gene Bollea was born. Bollea began his wrestling career in 1979 at the age of 26. After years of muddling around in mediocrity, Hogan defeated the Iron Sheik to win his first WWF title. In his career, Hulk has won the IWGP title, 5 WWF World titles, and 6 WCW World Titles. Hulk Hogan led the charge of wrestling's mainstream success in the 80s and because of that, he has deemed himself the "God" of professional wrestling. I know I'm not the biggest fan of Hulk Hogan, but I know what good he's done for the wrestling business. So, in honor of Hulky, I will look back and thank him for all the joy he's brought us. Hulk introduced us to his high school buddy Ed "Brutus 'The Barber' Beefcake, Brother Bruti, Butcher, THE MAN WITH NO NAME, Zodiac, Booty Man, and Disciple" Leslie. We should get on our knees and thank the all mighty Hulkster for that contribution alone. Hulk gave us classic movies like, "No Holds Barred," "Suburban Commando," "Mr. Nanny," "Assault on Devil's Island," "Three Ninjas: High Noon at Death Mountain," "Santa With Muscles," and any other film I forgot to mention. Even though I haven't seen many of Hulk's movies, they rank right up there with some of greatest films of all time. When I think of great films, I think of "The Godfather" trilogy, "Ben Hur," "The Ten Commandments," and "Schindler's List." Thank you, Hulk. Hulk is the man who told us to take our vitamins and say our prayers. It's a shame the vitamins he was talking about were steroids. And he admitted in an interview for ESPN's "Outside the Lines" that he didn't mean a word of it. He said, "I did it all for the money." Way to go Hulk! Hulk Hogan is the greatest wrestler to walk the face of the planet. He delivered ***** matches every time he stepped into the ring and always sent the fans home happy. When I think of ***** classics, I think of Flair vs. Steamboat from Chi-Town Rumble, Savage vs. Steamboat at Wrestlemania 3, Flair vs. Sting at the First Clash of the Champions, and among those classic matches are Giant vs. Hogan from nWo Souled Out and Warrior vs. Hogan from Halloween Havoc 1998. Hulk is the man who pissed all over Ric Flair's legacy by NEVER letting him get a CLEAN pin. Thank you, Hulk. Hogan has NEVER let Randy Savage pin him. Not even a screwy ending where Savage gets the win. And Savage is Hogan's best friend. What are best friends for? Thank you, Hulk. Hulk Hogan is the same man who killed Vader's credibility by defeating him 3 times in row. Vader since has had a failed run in the WWF and is now working full time for All-Japan. Thank you, Hulk. Hulk Hogan is the man who holds the young talent down and makes sure he's always in the main event. Once again, thank you, Hulk. Hulk Hogan is the man who introduced the Renegade as his "Ultimate Surprise." Thanks a lot, Hulk. Hulk Hogan is the man who fed Eric Bischoff's ego and convinced Bischoff that he was still a draw. Thanks for being a helluva con-artist, Hulk. August 9, 1999, was the night Hulk Hogan brought "Hulkamania" back from the dead. Many people across the nation marked out like a bunch of four-year olds. I can legitimately say I didn't mark out. (Now that's going to get me some hate mail!) And this possible "retirement" Bob Ryder is talking about is a joke. Remember the last time Hogan announced his retirement? Remember he was going to campaign for the Presidency. He returned a month and a half later at the January 4, 1999, Nitro. Thanks for keeping your promises, Hulk. Hulk Hogan will be missed by many people and many people on the net will start kissing his fat ass, but not me. Hulk Hogan sucks. He always has and always will. When Hogan finally calls it quits, it will be the best thing to happen to the wrestling business in years. Finally, some of the untapped talent in WCW will be given a chance to shine since Hogan won't be there to hold them down. Hulk Hogan the character will be missed by many, but Hulk Hogan the behind the scenes politician, will not. To quote Tony Schiavone from Bash at the Beach 1996, "Hulk Hogan, you can go to Hell! Straight to Hell!" Peace out. GKLIVER freelance Mail the Author |
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