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JERSEYBOY THUNDER
Did you like Jerseyboy Nitro? Hate it? Don't care either way?
I don't care - send me email to dajerseyboy@yahoo.com - because I want to know what YOU think.
And for those of you who wrote telling me that I'm Jamie Girouard - well, duh.
So let's go to JERSEYBOY THUNDER for March 22, 2000!
Your hosts are Tony Schivaone and Bobby Heenan.
[Q1]
A slick video package details the hot angle from Nitro, in which both Team Package and the nWo tried to recruit "free agent" Sid Vicious. However, Sid rebuffed advances from both parties, wanting to see which group could do his "dirty work" and eliminate Hulk Hogan. However, Team Package and the nWo tried to outdo each other in the main-event, and Hogan, Sting and Vampiro were able to run off the heels - much to Sid's chagrin.
Sid comes out to the ring for an interview. He's upset that neither Team Package nor the nWo could get rid of Hogan, but he's willing to give both sides another chance to prove their worth to them. Tonight, Lex Luger and Ric Flair will try to eliminate Sting and Vampiro in a tag-match...but just as Sid's about to talk about Hogan...
Hogan interrupts Sid's interview time (which makes Sid furious) and challenges Sid Vicious for a title match at Spring Stampede. Sid Vicious agrees, but only if Hogan can beat the Harris Boys in a HANDICAP match tonight.
The announcers run down tonights card. On top of Luger/Flair vs. Sting/Vampiro and Hogan vs. the Harris Boys - Chris Kanyon will defend the TV title against Lash LeRoux and 3-Count will face XS. All this and MORE!
Mean Gene gets set to talk to Team Package when we come back! [C]
Back from commercial, Mean Gene talks to Team Package backstage. Flair and Luger claim that the "freaks" have no chance tonight - and warns the nWo to stay out of their business.
[Q2]
Highlights from Nitro, when the Demon and Norman Smiley ran off the Barbarian and Hugh Morris.
MATCH 1: The Demon vs. The Barbarian. About three minutes of relatively even action ends when The Barbarian misses a top-rope headbutt and the Demon executes his cobra-clutch slam and gets the win! However, Hugh Morris comes in and starts to pound the Demon - and sets the Demon up on a table to finish him off with the No Laughing Matter through the table. However, Norman Smiley (wearing the local hockey/football/baseball jersey) comes from the back with a hockey stick/baseball bat and runs the heels off. [C]
Backstage, Los Fabulosos are getting English lessons from Miss Hancock - in the background, you can see XS pouting. Line from Lane: "How come she never taught US English?" Rave: "Don't we already speak it?"
Highlights from Nitro, where Psychosis, Chavo Guerrero, Jr., Chris Candido, and TAFKA Prince Iaukea got into a four-way cruiserweight brawl.
[Q3]
MATCH 2: Chavo vs. Psychosis. Chris Candido comes down to color commentate and complain that he gets no respect for his obvious athletic ability and can do more than jump and flop around the ring. Six really good minutes of back and forth cruiserweight action here. Chavo plays the subtle face role here, as Psychosis cheats to get an advantage. However, Chavo makes a strong comeback and seems on his way to winning. Candido steps away from the broadcast position to harass Juventud Guerrera, and Psychosis climbs the top rope and lands a tope on BOTH OF THEM! While the referee is distracted by all of this, TAFKA Prince Iaukea nails Chavo with the jumping DDT, and Psychosis is able to pin Chavo with the top-rope legdrop.[C]
Backstage, Disco Inferno is confronted by the Mamalukes about his actions on Nitro. Disco insists that his loyalty is to the Mamalukes, and he'll prove it by taking on Billy Kidman tonight.
[Q4]
MATCH 3: 3-Count vs. XS. 3-Count plays to the crowd. XS plays the crowd. The fans boo both teams. 3-Count and XS try to outdo each other with highspots and cool-looking moves, but don't get the reaction they're looking for. However, after about five minutes, Los Fabulosos come out to the ring (with Miss Hancock and about 20 screaming fans behind them) and the crowd loves them! Both teams, jealous of the popularity of the Fabulous Ones, storm of the ring to confront them and get counted out! Hancock just smirks at them as she leads Los Fabulosos out to the ring. [C]
Los Fabulosos are shown leaving the arena with a "throng" of fans worshipping their every move.
The nWo conduct an in-ring interview, stating that Team Package can't get the job done without them - and they'll prove that tonight. However, the Harris Boys - the most dangerous tag-team in the business, will have no problem whipping up on Hulk Hogan 2-on-1. Flair & Luger come out to the ring and beg to differ, and another argument ensues. Scott Steiner ups the ante by making veiled references to his "shoot" comments on Ric Flair, nearly causing the two to come to blows. However, as they're arguing the lights go out, and when they come back on, Sting and Vampiro are in the ring, pounding on Flair & Luger!
[Q5]
MATCH 4: Flair/Luger vs. Vampiro/Sting. The nWo remains at ringside. Vampiro and Sting get a big advantage early, but a Liz-distraction turns the tide after about two and a half minutes for Flair and Luger. Sting plays Ricky Morton and takes several two-counts before making the hot tag to Vampiro. Vampiro cleans house and seems in control when Liz gets up on the apron with the bat. However, Scott Steiner lifts her off the apron, Jeff Jarrett grabs the bat and NAILS Vampiro with it. Luger then picks up an unconscious Vampiro and gets the victory with the torture rack, as the announcers wonder what was more important to Sid in his decision - the fact Luger and Flair won, or the fact the nWo had to help him. The nWo head back to the locker room as Flair and Luger watch their interference and don't seem happy about it - so they take it out on Sting and Vampiro until Hogan makes the save. About eight minutes of action. [C]
Highlights from the brawl last week between Dustin Rhodes and Brian Knobbs.
[Q6]
MATCH 5: Hardcore Title Match - Brian Knobbs vs. Dustin Rhodes. Instead of the typical "wheelbarrow of weapons" match, Rhodes and Knobbs simply start brawling outside the ring and make their way through various rooms in the back.
Typical hardcore action for about five minutes, when Brian Knobbs gets the advantage and appears ready to win the match - when Dustin Rhodes whips out a fireball and blinds Knobbs, leading to the pin and the Hardcore Title in just shy of six minutes. Afterwards, Rhodes stomps on Knobbs until security comes and breaks it up. Fit Finlay comes out and sort of breaks character in checking on Brian Knobbs' condition. [C]
Team Package visits the nWo locker room and demands to know why they got involved in their business. Jarrett (talking on a cellphone) shoos them away, as he claims he's talking to Sid and finalizing the deal for Vicious to join the nWo. Steiner tells Ric Flair that an old fossil like him should be glad the nWo took the time to bail his sorry carcass out.
[Q7]
MATCH 6: Kidman vs. Disco Inferno. The Mamalukes don't come out with Disco Inferno, prompting the announcers to wonder if Disco's really on good terms with them. Kidman and Disco battle on relatively even terms for about six minutes when the big screen shows Booker getting manhandled by the Mamalukes backstage. Torrie Wilson runs backstage to help Booker, confusing Kidman. Disco then nails an unsuspecting Kidman with the Chartbuster and gets the win - and once again the announcers speculate on why Torrie Wilson abandoned Kidman again.
Backstage, Team Package huddle and appear desperate to gain an advantage.
Chris Kanyon and The Wall are heading to the ring - the TV title defense is NEXT! [C]
The nWo sends the Harris Boys out to guard against any sneak attacks by both the faces AND Team Package. However, Team Package baits a trap for the Harris Boys and coldcocks them AGAIN, leaving them unable to participate in the main-event.
[Q8]
MATCH 7: TV Title Match-Chris Kanyon (w/The Wall) vs. Lash LeRoux. Kanyon proclaims that he's the "best wrestler on television", rails on Bam Bam Bigelow for being soft, proclaims the Wall the "most dangerous wrestler alive" and asks who's better than him? The crowd says "EVERYONE", and Kanyon goes ballistic, attacking LeRoux before the bell. But Lash gets the advantage quickly, and holds it for about two minutes before Kanyon whips LeRoux into the referee. LeRoux executes Whiplash 2000, but the ref is still out. Meanwhile, the Wall sets up a table outside the ring, and an unsuspecting LeRoux ends up getting chokeslammed through it. The Wall then rolls LeRoux back into the ring for the Kanyon victory. LeRoux is stretchered out, and Kanyon's barks into the camera about fearing the Wall's "rage".
Back in the nWo locker area, Jarrett and Steiner realize that the Harris Brothers won't be able to participate - so they say "if you want something right, you've got to do it yourself", and Jarrett and Steiner decide to take the Harris Boys place in the main-event. [C]
Sid comes out before the main-event to join Tony and Bobby at the commentary table. He informs everyone that the stipulations are still in place - Hogan gets a title shot only if he beats Steiner and Jarrett in a handicap match tonight.
MATCH 8: Hulk Hogan vs. Jeff Jarrett/Scott Steiner. Hogan starts quickly, dominating with kicks, punches, clotheslines and bodyslams - but a low blow by Steiner (after Sid distracted Hogan) turns the tide. Sid spends his commentary time dodging questions about who he's aligning himself with and ripping Hulk Hogan for being a self-centered egomaniac.
[OVERRUN]
Unlike Nitro, Steiner and Jarrett work well as a team and manage to double-team Hogan into deep trouble - until Ric Flair and Lex Luger come out. Flair and Luger's appearance at ringside distract the nWo members, and that gives Hogan time to make his patented comeback. However, Steiner catches Hogan is about to belly-to-belly suplex him when Luger distracts the referee and Flair NAILS Hogan with a pair of brass knuckles, seemingly knocking Hogan cold. This pisses off Steiner, who drops Hogan and goes after Flair. The referee then gets tied up with those two, while Jarrett lifts Hogan off the canvas to execute the Stroke, but Luger nails Hogan in the ribs with a baseball bat! Jarrett starts jawing with Luger, and all of these distractions give Hogan time to hulk up, nail Jarrett with the boot and legdrop, and get the pinfall! Sid slams his headset down in frustration as Hogan slides out under the ring and heads back to the dressing room victorious - as Team Package and the nWo start yet ANOTHER argument in the middle of the ring as the credits roll.
Jamie Girouard
freelance
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