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USWA FLASHBACK
A very happy first birthday to the /Slash. I know I haven't contributed
as much or as frequently as some other folks, it's still been really cool
to have my meager scribblings posted on this site. Here's to many more...
So, what is the USWA, you may be asking? Well, it stands for the United
States Wrestling Association, and it was the title for the main promotion
in the Memphis area from 1988-1997 (the name change occurred when
Continental Wrestling Alliance and World Class Championship Wrestling
merged in '88). The main draw in the area was without a doubt Jerry "The
King" Lawler (also the owner of the fed). You know how he always gets a
huge pop whenever the WWF is in Tennessee? That's why. I know it seems
weird that people could get worked up for the goof who yells "bra and
panties" every Monday Night, but few people understand the huge legacy
Lawler has in the sport. Anyway, lots of big wrestlers passed down through
the USWA (Flex Kavana, anyone?), and the promotion was a lot of fun, so
it's always worth a look. I'll explain the unsubtle nuances of Memphis
wrestling as we go as we go along, but it's often like another world down
there. I won't bother with star ratings, since a lot of these matches were
squashes. We'll do a double dip on this outing with 2 episodes of USWA
wrestling.
USWA Television, broadcast 12/4/93.
Opening credits.
Dave Brown and Corey Macklin introduce the show. Brown looks and talks
like Tom Snyder, while Macklin looks like James Brown (the Fox Football
guy). Macklin tends to overemphasize the action when calling a match,
while Brown plays it pretty low key. It's awkward at times, but they're
really not that bad of a duo. Neither one plays the heel, which is unusual
for Memphis. Anyway, they show clips of Rex Hargrove, Reggie B. Fine, and
Toni Adams being whipped by fans due to a stipulation after losing a match
to Jerry Lawler and Brian Christopher. Then Reggie B. Fine, Don Bass, and
manager Lee Womack come out for some comments. I honestly can't make out a
word Fine says, and Womack mumbles something about taking over the USWA.
Maybe they took elocution lessons with Ahmed Johnson...
Anyway, as the Fine and Bass head to the ring for a match, Toni Adams
(doing her best impersonation of Woman) comes out with a bowl of dog food.
Toni rambles on about how she's been humiliated by Brian Christopher, who
caused her to get whipped and also shoved her face in dog food. See,
Memphis pioneered weird shit like shoving people's face in dog food (at
least in a wrestling context). By the way, anyone who complains about
Trish Stratus' or Miss Hancock's deficiencies on the mic should listen to
Toni's gawd awful promos. Anyway, she swears to rebuild a stable and seek
revenge on Christopher. Speaking of which...
REGGIE B. FINE AND DON BASS (w/Lee Womack) VS. BRIAN CHRISTOPHER AND DOUG
GILBERT: It should be pointed that the program is filmed in a small
television studio in front of about 100 people. Brian is better known
today as Grandmaster Sexay of Too Cool. He's also Jerry Lawler's kid,
although that's pretty obvious unless you're deaf and blind. Man, he's
added some muscle recently-he really used to be a shrimp. Doug is "Hot
Stuff" Eddie Gilbert's brother. Christopher starts off with Bass, and the
action's barely underway when Toni goes over to Doug and starts making out
with him. This is, of course, enough to convince Doug to turn on Brian,
and soon we've got a three-on-one beatdown (No contest-1:43) which
culminates in Toni shoving the bowl of dogfood in Christopher's face.
Jerry Lawler then runs in to even the odds, but Buddy Landel runs out to
un-even the odds. Christopher eats a spike piledriver from Landel and
Fine. Eddie Marlin (USWA commissioner) runs out and threatens to fine the
heels, less they cease the carnage. The heels gloat at the announce table,
but Christopher and Lawler chase them off. Father and Son then challenge
Gilbert and Fine to a match.
"NATURE BOY" BUDDY LANDEL VS. "MY FAVORITE JOBBER" TONY WILLIAMS: They
spelled "Landel" with only two "L"'s in the credits, so that's how I'll
spell it. Buddy's the Heavyweight Champion here, having won the belt from
Jeff Jarrett. The Heavyweight title isn't actually the top title in the
USWA, that distinction would go to the Unified World Heavyweight Title.
The Heavyweight title used to be known as the Southern title; it just got
upgraded when Lawler unified the USWA and GWF "World" titles. Got all
that? Landell has bad words for Brian Christopher before the match. They
show a video for Christopher, set to EMF's "Unbelievable." Brian sure
wears ugly tights. Like Father, like Son, I guess. Landel remains
unimpressed. You'd know Buddy from jobbing to Brian Pillman in WCW in 1990,
and being Dean Douglas' student in the WWF in 1995 and jobbing to Ahmed
Johnson (second Ahmed ref this article!). Man, he's fat here. More Buddy
Rose than Buddy Landell. Landell squashes Tony despite barely making
contact with anything. Williams reverses a corner whip, but Buddy smacks
him with an elbow when Tony charges in. Figure-four then finishes it
(2:20). Buddy beats up Tony after the match, but Christopher makes the
save.
WAR MACHINES(W/Lee Womack) VS DEL RIOS/T.D. STEELE: I first thought that
the War Machines were the Eliminators under masks, but given their offense
and flabby physiques, I guess not. Rios is dressed like a construction
worker, and Steele wears a hard hat to the ring. I'm surprised they didn't
call themselves Men At Work. Then again, they're jobbers, so it's no big
deal. Rios starts off and does pretty well for a while, then Steele comes
in and gets clobbered. Machines dominate with vanilla offense. Rios gets
frustrated and goes after Womack, which allows the War Machines to hit a
double chokeslam for the win (3:46) The Machines went on to win the titles
a few days later. Why, I don't know. But they lost them just as quickly
and were never heard from again, so it's no big deal.
FAR 2 WILD VS. WARLOCK/KEN RAPER. F2W is Todd Morton and Chris Michaels,
and they're a Rock n' Roll express wannabe team. The Warlock is Dave
Heath, better known as Vampire Warrior or Gangrel. Raper fortunately
doesn't have a gimmick based on his name. I mean, geez, just call yourself
Roper or Reaper or something, Ken. Warlock looks good here, even pulling
out a release Tiger suplex on Morton. Far 2 Wild looks sharp as well,
hitting Raper with some basic but nicely executed double teams (drop toe
hold followed by a legdrop, suplexing partner onto opponent). Todd Morton
plays Rick Morton before making a hot tag to Michaels. A pier six breaks
out, Morton dodges a corner dive from Raper, and rolls him up for the pin
(5:53).
Mike Anthony and Jeff Gaylord, now USWA tag champs after beating PG-13,
come out for an interview. Yes, Jeff used the last name Gaylord. Why, I
don't know. He looks like a smaller Mike Awesome in the Ultimate Warrior's
tights. Anyway, PG-13 comes out and claim that Gaylord and Anthony cheated
by using a hubcap in their title victory (never mind that PG-13 brought the
hubcap to the ring in the first place). They goad the champs into making
tonight's rematch a title match.
PG-13 VS. MIKE ANTHONY/JEFF GAYLORD [C] (USWA Tag Title match): PG-13 is
J.C. Ice (Bill Dundee's kid) and Wolfie D, doing a "white guys from the
hood" gimmick. You may remember them as the rappers for the Nation of
Domination, or jobbing to the Dudleys at Hardcore Heaven '97. Last time I
saw them, they wrestled on Saturday Night in WCW. They have a midget named
Midget D with them. I have nothing else to say about that. Anthony
dominates to start as both members of PG-13 stall like nuts (another
Memphis staple). A Wolfie D powerslam on Anthony turns the tide. Anthony
gets beat on for a while until he dodges a Wolfie D corner charge (popular
move tonight) and tags in Gaylord, who promptly gets tossed out of the
ring. PG-13 hit their finisher on Anthony (Wolfie holds Anthony in a side
suplex position, Ice comes off the second rope with an elbow drop) but
Gaylord breaks up the pin. Ice then grabs some powder, but Anthony kicks
it in his face and rolls him up for the pin (7:24). Predictable but fun
match.
Dave and Corey close out the show.
USWA Television, broadcast 12/11/93
Dave and Corey open the show and announce that Brian Christopher beat
Buddy Landel for the Heavyweight Title and the War Machines beat
Anthony/Gaylord for the tag titles. I guess there's no need to see footage
of these events. Thanks, guys. The title win was Christopher's 8th
go-round with the belt, and he ended up holding it 24 times!
Toni Adams (in neck brace) comes out with Doug Gilbert. Toni talks (ugh)
and says she's used to being hated because people have always been jealous
of her. And Brian Christopher's a loser, since he can't get the job done.
They show the Brian Christopher video again (hey, there's Brian fighting
Koko B. Ware and Doink!), then Toni shows her own video, set to "I'm Too
Sexy." It's full of "sexy" poses and Toni harassing Brian. Just in case
you think this is totally pointless, Toni brings out a secret weapon..."Hot
Stuff" Eddie Gilbert, who gets a nice pop and an "Eddie" chant! Eddie cuts
a great promo saying how Christopher's an ingrate since Eddie took him in
off the streets and taught him everything he knows. Then, in a sad moment
of foreshadowing, he says that only death could stop his feud with Lawler.
*Sigh.*
THE GILBERTS (w/Toni Adams) VS. FAR 2 WILD: This was supposed to be Doug
vs. Todd Morton, but now it's a tag match. Eddie's wrestling in street
clothes. Doug is a pretty bland wrestler compared to his brother. Back
and forth action for a few minutes, then Morton gets a hot tag to Chris
Michaels, and a pier six breaks out. Toni tosses Eddie a boot, and he
clobbers Michaels for the pin (3:16).
The King and Brian Christopher have harsh words for Toni Adams. They
have their own secret weapon: Bertha. Bertha is some big fat guy in drag
who comes out to a Dolly Parton song and dances with the fans. Yeah, we're
in Memphis. Sorry, I don't know who she really is, my finger was glued to
the Fast Forward button. Bertha then says that she's more of a lady than
Toni will ever be.
VAMPIRE WARRIOR VS. CHARLIE LAIRD: I guess the Warlock was unmasked to
be the Vampire Warrior. Warrior kicks and punches a lot and wins with a
Tiger Suplex (1:15).
A look at the Bruise Brothers beating up some jobbers. The brothers are
former WCW tag champs Ron and Don Harris, although here they're pretty
chunky and have the long "Blu Brothers" hairstyles.
MIKE ANTHONY/JEFF GAYLORD VS. THE ENFORCER/ALI BIN KAN: The Enforcer is
a black guy in a policeman's uniform, while Kan is a fat Sultan-like
character. Kan gets destroyed to start, so he tags in the Enforcer, who
doesn't fare much better. The heels gain a quick advantage when Anthony
misses a dropkick, but Mike is able to make the hot tag when Kan crotches
himself after an attempted Bossman sit. Kan is wretched, by the way.
Gaylord and Anthony clean house, and Gaylord pins Enforcer after a nice top
rope shoulderblock (4:11).
Lee Womack brings out the War Machines. Womack brags about how it only
took one week to win the belts, then bitches about the lack of respect he
team gets. Far 2 Wild come out and promise to win the belts in their first
shot. Womack calls Todd Morton a Ricky Martin reject. He probably meant
Ricky Morton.
WAR MACHINES VS. DEL RIOS/"MY FAVORITE JOBBER" TONY WILLIAMS: Rios
cleans house to start, then tags Tony in. Tony fights valiantly for a few
minute, then falls prey to the Machine's vanilla offense. Rios gets fed up
and runs in, but while the ref escorts him out, the Machines stick one of
their helmets on Williams and give him a double reverse side Russian leg
sweep, cover, 1-2-3 (3:55).
JERRY "THE KING" LAWLER/BRIAN CHRISTOPHER/LITTLE EAGLE VS. PG-13/MIDGET
D: Some pretty decent action to start with Christopher fighting both
members of PG-13. Then a schmozz breaks out and the faces clear the ring.
Lalwer and Christopher clear the ring and hurl Midget D on top of PG-13.
Then the Gilberts run in for the DQ (2:47). The show closes with a big
brawl.
Epilogue: Memphis stuff is definitely an acquired taste. The wrestling
isn't very flashy, and the storylines revolve around the standard good guys
vs. bad guys scenarios. Still, if you're an old school fan, or even if
you're tired of Crash TV, it's worth a look.
I'll be back with more Memphis stuff, and I should be acquiring some
footage of the Rock when he was Flex Kavana in the USWA. And you *know*
I'll have something to say about that.
Send any and all feedback to bwo@telegram.infi.net. Thanks for reading,
and I'll be back soon with more Memphis memories.
Joe Gagne
Flashbacker
freelance
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