Hey True Believers. Welcome to another column by the man who admits to marking out. I've gotten some motivation since my ezboard post (not much, but I do feel inspired enough to type) and am ready to go now. I really enjoyed last week's "10 Things" format and have decided that this will be my regular format for the time being (read: until I change my mind again) with occasional feature-length columns on specific subjects. The "10 Things" format gives me an opportunity to speak about a variety of subjects without feeling like I've gotten off topic (if that makes any sense). BTW, I have watched RAW and snippets of Nitro, I have read spoilers for SmackDown! and Thunder, and we still don't have a president!

On to the matter at hand.

10 Things I Think I Think (this week at least, still shamelessly stolen form Peter King, and in no particular order)

1. I think that I hear talent calling spots waaay too much nowadays. The WWF needs to move the cameras, or more specifically, the microphones away from the talent. It is one thing to watch a TV match with Triple H and hear "high knee" or witness that time on PPV when he asked Austin if he was "ready for the suplex on the Spanish Announce table," but c'mon... On Monday night, I heard two spots called and watched numerous others being called in the same match. The match in question was the RAW main event, Radicals(z?) versus Rocky, the Redneck, Thank God for my plastic Surgeon, and NEO (here's a new nickname for you, CRZ!!) Eddie told Chyna "It's you" before he whipped her into the ropes and she reversed it. Surprise! Next, Saturn asked Chyna "Ready?" before he jackhammered her (or if you're Jim Ross—powerslammed her). And, throughout the match, Austin could be seen whispering (read: talking) into his opponents' ears as he dragged them around the ring, opening up his patented can of whuppass. Note to the Fed: We want to suspend belief. We want to get caught up in the moment and mark out, but we can't if we can SEE wrestlers talking about what they're about to do in the ring. Work with us, please. Sheesh.

2. I think that no matter whether you like or dislike Rikishi, you have to feel happy for him. This guy is getting an unbelievable rub from Triple H, Austin and the Rock. I dare say that so far he is getting the most rub from HHH. His "ran-over-Austin" heat seemed to quickly dissipate, but hanging with Triple H(ate)H(ate)H(ate) will get you booed quick, fast and in a hurry. Just being with Helmsley brings Rikishi up to a whole new level of evil; that guy with the nose just oozes hatred. And while I'm not exactly looking forward to Rikishi's match with Rocky, battling his cousin will cement him as a hated WWF superstar. Remember, even Foley got booed when he put Mr. Socko on the Rock on PPV (in a four-way, no less) and he was a fan favorite on a retirement tour at the time.

3. I think I am feeling a little bit better about the Radicals reforming since the WWF is obviously trying to push them by placing them in the main event storyline and the RAW main event. However, having them work with (read: work FOR) Triple H makes them all seem like second-rate wrestlers in general and makes Benoit and Guerrero seem like mid-carders again in particular, which is a biiiiigg mistake. For more on that, read my last column.

4. I think that the WWF Tag Titles have not meant the same in my eyes since Edge & Christian dropped them to the Hardy Boyz. E & C remain one of the most entertaining parts of WWF programming and their run with the belts (especially their unwritten edict of cheating to win) was priceless. They've got the total package of looks, mic skills, and in-ring talent to sit atop the division. The Hardyz have the look and skills, but have treaded water because they can't talk. Just imagine how much larger their run would have been after finally beating E&C if they were as golden on the mic and in front of the camera as the Canadian Duo. BTW, RTC has none of these characteristics to carry the straps, except the fact that we hate them—more for their lack of overall talent a charisma than for their gimmick and message—and should therefore be stripped of the belts immediately. How about giving the belts to the Dudley Boyz? I know, I know...we've been watching various combinations of the Dudleyz, Hardyz and E&C wage war for months. But, there was a reason for that; these six guys are the tops in the tag division. Plus, Buh Buh Ray and Devon can deliver a very solid promo when required. Besides, if the Fed wanted to give the belts to a power-team, they could've waited for the APA to get healthy. And no, T&APA is not a good substitute. Albert is garbage, set Test free!!

5. I think the following criticisms about Billy Gunn: (a) His new gimmick is even lamer than "Mr. Ass," if that is even possible. "The One?" What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is he gonna whip out some magical superpowers ala Neo in the Matrix? Is he somehow better and different than the rest of us? Or maybe by calling him the One the WWF hopes that we will all realize that we are really comatose slaves hooked into a TV reality where Vince can (and does) define our reality and that in this reality, The One Billy Gunn is a main event caliber wrestler just one good push away from the Championship—yeah right, Operator, I need an exit—now! (b) His music totally sucks. It sounds like an extremely bad 80's arena rock anthem. It does not (as it is supposed to) inspire millions and millions of fans to jump out of their seats and act like fools. Nothing about it works. Period. (c) And furthermore, if he's not Mr. Ass anymore, can he please stop wearing those damn trunks? Didn't he get censored, already? I thought makeovers where supposed to be complete?!?? Sheesh.

6. I think that I still really want a payoff to the whole Triple H/Stephanie/Angle angle. I think I can live with Ian Challis's idea to turn Angle face as long as I get my payoff!! Fans think Angle is funny, but I think his character will need some major tweaking to make a face turn work, although Triple H is the opposite of the Rock—working against him sort of makes you a fan favorite by default. Ian is right, fans already love Angle because he is funny, but hate him at the same time because of his clean-cut image and smart remarks. With a little bit of work, the WWF writers could have the fans loving Angle all the time. Sidebar: I really hope Angle goes over Taker at the PPV as it would make him a lot more credible. I still thinks he needs some more credibility even if he is supposed to be vulnerable.

7. I think that I agree with Hyatte: the whole "Rock getting run down by Triple H and Rikishi with the sledgehammer" spot on RAW was really cool. The camera work was a prime example of everything that is right with the WWF's production and wrong with WCW's. I also think that Triple H was not diving the car as Rikishi hit Rocky. I think --no, I know-- that if you rewind your RAW tape you will see someone approach the back of the car as it stops (just after the Rock lands on the pile of cables and the camera begins to tighten up on to Rikishi). Then, when the camera takes another wide shot, Triple H is standing on the driver's side of the car, taunting the Rock. I think that Triple H got on the car door between camera shots. Think about it: Would the Rock really trust a man in severe back pain to drive a car that had to come within a few feet of his body while another man attempted to "hit" him with a sledgehammer? I think not.

8. I think I would like to know what happened to the whole idea of Kane getting unmasked? First the Fed gives Kane that new tank-top that shows just how really huge he is, then they allow him to talk (and boy is he cutting some career promos), and finally they tease the whole mask thing with the Undertaker then...nothing. You've talked about it for years, let us see his face, already!! It would probably mean a lot of work for the WFF make-up team (would it really be all that different than what they currently do for Chyna?), but it would be sooo cool. Unmasking Kane, if done properly (and how wrong could you do it), would be one of the top mark-out moments of a lifetime. Simply put, you would remember exactly where you were when it happened. Here's hoping that this "pretty-boy" Jericho angle will lead to this kind of pay-off.

9. Speaking of Jericho, here's hoping he gets the win over Kane. Don't get me wrong, I love Kane and feel that he, unlike Neo, is one good push away from the main event, but Jericho needs this win more than Kane does. A win over Kane would make all fans take notice of Jericho's (wasted) top-shelf talent. Besides, Kane can easily be rebuilt by having him destroy a couple of mid-carders and get in the Rock's face or Austin's. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

10. I think that Scott Steiner is WCW's Austin-in-the-making. I think I wrote an editorial and submitted it to Another Website (read: PWTorch.com) over two months ago, but they didn't publish it even though now Steiner is getting waaay over. I think that maybe, with CRZ's graces, I'll talk about that (read: post that column) in the near future (read: sometime next week) barring any unforeseen developments inside the squared circle. I'll keep my fingers crossed again.

Until then, send feedback/hatemail to drinkingbeersandmarkingout@yahoo.com.

I'm Out.

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