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...AND MARKING OUT

I tried. Honestly, I did. I wanted to watch SuperBrawl: Revenge. It wasn't that I was overly excited in any way, but I was looking forward to giving WCW my full attention as I said I would last time (I tried with last week's Nitro; I can not stomach Thunder). Anyway, I was prepared to watch, but, alas, it was not to be. I ran into all kinds of technical problems. You see, I live in Owings Mills, a suburb of Baltimore, where our cable provider is Comcast (also my internet provider). In order to purchase anything on PPV, you need to have cable boxes. You do not need cable boxes to enjoy cable television, however. In fact, Comcast actually charges extra if you have cable boxes. A little over a year ago, I grew weary of paying about $75 a month for cable so I turned in my boxes and got a deal where my premium movie channels are bundled and now I save about $30 a month.

But without a box, you ask, how do you watch PPVs? Easy, I usually borrow a box from a neighbor and purchase the event. Or, I cheat. I have a neighbor who has a cable box that is capable of receiving PPV signals at no charge. The only catch is that the cable box loses the signal about once every hour to 80 minutes. It takes about 3-5 minutes to reset the box and then you can return to enjoying you programming. I have enjoyed a lot of PPVs at my neighbor's basement for free and decided that I would give SuperBrawl a shot since I wouldn't be paying anyway. Boy, was I wrong. You always pay somehow. My payment, it turns out, was in aggravation.

You see, I didn't happen. SuperBrawl never came on, at least, not in my basement. The box never got the signal. I asked my neighbor about the glitch on Monday and told him that I ran the cable box through my VCR ( so I could record it) and he said that the VCR was the problem. Evidently, with his bootleg cable box you can watch PPVs for free, but you can't record 'em. Oh well, what's that they say about the best laid plans of mice and men?

Leftovers

I go and give FratBoy a shout and he chooses this week not to send me a message. How do ya like them apples? Oh well, my word stands. His next letter makes it to print.

Also, a huge shout to my boy Sean (known from hence forth as Perk). Hope you made it home alright. Hopefully all our partying at the ESPNZone (those 25 ounce beers are a mother, aren't they?) didn't sap your energy to the point where you were a walking zombie when you got to New Orleans. Lord knows I don't want Monica mad at me :-). More on you later...

I'm going to try a little half and half this week, writing some of the column before RAW and Nitro and some afterwards. We'll see how that goes okay?

10 Things I Think I Think (for the week ending 2.10.01)

1. While I wouldn't say I enjoyed it, I thought the opening of Nitro was effective and consistent. Effectiveness and consistency have been solely lacking from WCW programming over the last year or so I'll take what I can get. Also from the opening, it's obvious that Page is over, even if he's the only Main event face left. I guess they'll end his career and Greed. That way, Bischoff can be the big hero both on-screen and behind the scenes by slowly bringing all of the shelved wrestlers back in a rehash of his one and only angle.

2. I see a vignette for Kid Romeo. I think" WHY? Doesn't WCW already have enough obnoxious pretty-boy cruiserweights? How's this guy any different from Evan Karagias, Shane Helms, Shannon Moore or Buff Bagwell (weight notwithstanding) for that matter?

3. I think the following wrestlers have had positive changes in their ring attire: Bug Show, Perry Saturn, Raven. Show's unitard makes him look slimmer and somehow more imposing all at the same time. Saturn's long tights make him look cooler and also helps him better fit in visually with Benoit and Guerrero more. Raven's leather shorts just look better on TV. Konnan needs to take notice and a hint. His earrings are ridiculous. His clothes are even worse.

4. I think enough is enough. WCW should stop joining the show in the middle of the action. At least, I hope that's what they were aiming for and that those weren't just some reoccurring production mistakes. With WCW, you never can be too sure. It doesn't make the show seem more important, it makes the production crew seem increasingly incompetent.

5. I think there's something just not right about seeing Road Warrior Animal with Road Warrior Hawk.

6. I think I finally see the flaw in wanting Austin to turn heel on Rock. Both guys are already heels. Their characters were both conceived as heels, but fans backed and cheered them as time went by. Maybe instead of trying to turn either guy heel, the WWF should try to turn one of them face. Maybe then the crowds would boo. Just a thought.

7. I think I want to know who Lance Storm pissed off and if I can apologize to them on his behalf. Two jobs in two nights to two wrestlers who combined aren't the half wrestler he is. (That's really meant as a dig at the Cat, BTW)

8. I think the WWF actually made me doubt the outcome of the No Way Out title match last night. Angle's sit-down interview was extremely effective in casting that doubt. Great job by Angle and the writers. If they would just give this guy some credibility, he could be scary-good.

9. I think it would be cool if the WWF swerved us big time and had Angle retain the title against the Rock. Now that would be shocking in a good way. It would create the sense of unpredictability the Fed so desperately needs. A clean win by Angle after a hard-fought match would help with his credibility, but it probably won't happen. Then he could give the win back later and it would be more meaningful.

10. I think if they do swerve us, the WWF would have to have the Rock win the title during a RAW rematch because "The Smark Guide to Booking WrestleMania X-Seven 101" says so. If Austin and HHH are in the last match, I expect Angle to go over Rock and Austin to go over HHH after an emotionally draining three matches. That way, the fans go home happy.

Laughing Over Spilled Beer

This is the portion of the column where I post your mark-out rants. Send me your thoughts on your favorite wrestler or moment and I'll include 'em. It's that simple. This week's rant comes from my observation of Perk while he was in town with me instead of an e-mail. Perk is your typical casual fan. He watches RAW religiously. He would watch SmackDown!, but the UPN affiliate in Jackson, MS is only part-time. And he's bummed about it. He tries WCW but can't get past the look or lack thereof. He thinks their ring is too small. He thinks the show looks "cheesy." Here are some of Perk's choice quotes/casual fan moments: He cited a few of his favorite Rock and Jericho promos during our ride back form the airport. He demanded to see my SmackDown! tape so that he could laugh again at Rock's humilation of Kevin Kelly "X-Pac looks like crap. Hey, who was that bald guy that came out with the chair?" "Is Kane really as huge as he looks on TV?" Looks bigger in person, I replied. "Whaat?!" He hates Kurt Angle, Edge and Christian, although he finds them hilarious.

Perk is the epitome of the casual fan. He talks about going to WWF television tapings. He wants to buy some t-shirts, hats and shot-glasses. He's the kind of fan that fills the arenas. He's the kind of fan that keeps Austin face instead of heel. He's one of the "millions and millions" of reasons Vince McMahon and Jim Ross think nothing is wrong with their product. And, if I owned a company that pulled down huge cable ratings and packed TV tapings with 18000 Perks yelling at the top of their lungs, singing along with the Undertaker's music and laughing at everything the Rock says and does, well I probably would think everything was alright, too. Even if the Interent populace said differently. I mean, if you had to choose, who would you listen to: 18000 Perks or 1 Keller, Hyatte, Zimmerman, Scaia, and a host of other internet folk?

Tough choice, huh? Our criticisms versus their frantic cheers.

Easy if you're Vince McMahon.

Doesn't seem like we'll win many of those mental debates, but that doesn't mean I'll stop hoping. I just pray that he takes our criticisms to heart just a little before the overall public becomes as routinely peeved off as we.

Ya'll know the routine by now. Drink beers. Mark out. Care less.

Until next time, you can send hatemail/feedback to drinkingbeersandmarkingout@yahoo.com.

I'm out.

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