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INSIDE THE WRESTLER'S STUDIO
SmackDown!

Hey y'all. Dmikester with another edition of Inside the Wrestler's Studio. Today, I'm going to be reviewing Smackdown!, which was hands down the worst show I have seen from the WWF all year. Maybe it was just me, but only the first twenty minutes worked for me, and the show quickly went downhill from there. I guess it's just that the whole show felt really recycled; it was like they ran out of new ideas and decided to go back to all the old storyline matches, like the tag match where the guy gets beat up forever and there's a big face the crowd really wants to fight and eventually both active wrestlers go down and the face gets in and cleans up shop. Or the match where the ref gets really beat up and unrealistically wakes up just in time to see a pin. I know that these matches have occurred this year(hell, the ref one happened last Monday), but unlike Smackdown!, they've all been believable. I mean, come on, did you really believe that Christian could have in any conceivable way pinned Kane? It was just sad to see, and I really hope that the WWF doesn't try to trick the people who don't realize these trends.

In the acting side of things, the show was incredibly dry. There were a couple of great moments, but even the amazing Mick seemed a little off. You'll see what I mean in my review. OK, here we go!



MICK FENDS HHH OFF WHILE A CACTUS WATCHES

Man, I'll tell ya, I hope that the next segment doesn't have me paying attention to the setting more than the actual action. This was dull, boring dialogue mixed in with some adequate performances, so it was nothing special. The cactus and Frank Sinatra were strokes of genius though. Next.



KAIENTAI GET MADE FUN OF AGAIN WHILE HARDCORE TURNS IN AN OSCAR-WINNING PERFORMANCE

OK, the Oscar-winning performance part of the title was extremely exaggerated, but the truth is, Hardcore turned in one of the best performances of his life in his segment and easily the best performance of the night. Why, you might ask? Because he was believable. Hardcore just looked and sounded legitimately mad, and if you listen closely, you can hear the crowd gasp in disbelief that Holly would be that mad. Now I've been to wrestling events before, and I've been to ones where all the standard stuff that would distract a crowd happened, and that kind of gasp never happened. One last thing. The reason Holly seemed as mad as he did was because he underplayed it.

Time for a short acting lesson here. When you cry, what you're really doing is trying not to cry. Think about it. In the same vein, when you're mad, you're trying not to be, but you can't help it, so it becomes subdued until you finally just explode. Watch a typical HHH performance and you'll see what I mean. Nothing else noteworthy happened in this segment, so I guess it's time to move on.



THAT DAMN CACTUS STILL STEALS THE SCENE

Well, this was the other dull segment involving Mick's office, and once again, inanimate objects stole the scene due to dull, boring dialogue. Admittedly, this one was better than the opening segment, but still, it really wasn't that good. Edge/Christian and Mick were fine, but couldn't save themselves from typical dialogue. However, Mick serenading to Sinatra at the end of this segment was wonderful. Next.



THE OBLIGATORY OVERLY LONG SEGMENT INVOLVING A MCMAHON

Well, the title says it all. Sadly, this one had to feature Stephanie, a great actress turned awful by a horrid character change. Before SmackDown!, Stephanie had always angered me because I had felt that she had just been turning terrible performances and had destroyed her old, amazingly deep and realistic character. But tonight, I realized that what really happened is that she turned heel and her character became two-dimensional as a result. And in that case, she's been turning in great performances with a lousy character.

But in any case, back to the segment. The actual reason I had that revelation above was because she brought back a tiny bit of the old Stephanie in this segment. It only happens for about a minute, but you can sense it if you really pay attention. Then Mick came out and was merely adequate and basically, for the first time I can ever remember him doing this, ruined the segment with his merely adequate performance.

The sad thing is, most of the actors in wrestling today would love to have the ability to turn in adequate performances like Mick did on Smackdown!. It's just that Mick usually turns in scene-stealing, brilliant performances, so his adequacy was shocking tonight. In any event, an OK segment, and easily the second best of the night.



STEVIE DELIVERS A MESSAGE TO THE INTERNET SMART FANS

Well, this was actually really great. for the smarts. At least, in the way I interpreted this, this was a clear jest on PTC and their whole issue with the WWF. However, think about the average wrestling fan. This gimmick would be pointless and extremely annoying to them, wouldn't it? Just food for thought. In any case, great over-the-top intensity by "Steven" instantly set up his character and made him someone that I, but probably not the average wrestling fan, want to see again.



EDGE/CHRISTIAN DO THEIR BEST TO ACT BEHIND HORRID DIALOGUE

The title basically says it all. This was easily the worst writing their gimmick has ever had. I thought it was going to be funny, but instead it came off as just, well, really bad writing. Good try, guys. Next.



JERICHO HAS AN ABILITY THAT APPARENTLY D-VON DOESN'T

Nice short little segment that was kinda strange, but a great continuation of the characters of Buh-Buh Ray and D-Von Dudley. Jericho was great here, and Buh-Buh was sufficently hypnotized by Jericho's magical words of powerbombing Steph through a table. Yeah, right. Fat chance, bro. In any event, nice little segment.



WHAT HAVE MICK AND AL BECOME?

This was a markout moment for me just cause Al Snow was back, but he was strangely subdued here. I know he is normally when he's not in Head mode, but he just seemed really out of it. Mick was just plain goofy, which was, once again, merely adequate for this segment. Also, the segment didn't do a damn thing except show that Al ain't gonna be a main eventer anytime soon.



JERICHO PREACHES AGAIN

See the Dudleyz segment above for a pretty good description of this segment. Also, I'm skipping Blackman's little beatdown since that really had no acting whatsoever in it. Glad I could clear that up.



Standout match was clearly the first one here. Most of the WWF's better midcard workers in a nice little tag team match that was so predictable it hurt. Ah, but who cares? Just the chance to see Eddie and Benoit wrestle is enough for me. No, but really, it was a very good match, and an amazing opener that sadly didn't set the tone for the rest of the show.

So, as you can tell, I was extremely angry at this show and still am. The booking was just sloppy and seemed like they just didn't care enough about the show to have any solid wrestling in there outside of two matches. Also, the segments were the worst written segments I've seen al year from the WWF. Let me put it this way: this is the only time I've ever fallen asleep watching wrestling. Ever. God, I can't even believe how terrible the show must have been live, with the added bonus of not being able to hear the announcers and the segments explaining everything getting drowned out by the crowd. Sheesh.

Just one more thing, and then I'm out for this week. Notice that every match except for the first match was booked by either Mick or the wrestlers. Now, do you honestly buy that a two-hour show would have no pre-booking outside of a five-minute match and that Mick just counted on everyone being mad so he could book the show on the spot? Just amazingly idiotic booking and writing ruined this show, guys. Let's hope RAW rebounds. See ya guys on Tuesday or whenever CRZ decides to post that one.

Dmikester
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