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Dan Doomsday

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THE DEVICE

It's been four Mickdamn months, but FINALLY DAN DOOMSDAY HAS COME BACK TO THE INTERNET!!

A lot can happen in four months. The Dartmouth football team can go 2-8. Kurt Angle can become WWF Champion. I can discover how much I hate calculus. Sean Shannon can disappear. I can become a DJ at New Hampshire's own 99Rock (www.wfrd.com). Christian can learn to play the kazoo. I can join the Dartmouth College Marching Band (www.dartmouth.edu/~dcmb), which has a fine kazoo section (yes, we REALLY have a kazoo section). And Sid Vicious can come back for one more shot at the world title.

What's more, I can have no problem with that.

Yes, Sid is a perennial slug when it comes to workrate. Yes, he has a history of disappearing to play softball and using random objects in fights. Yes, Sid title reigns generally coincide with the low point of a promotion's ratings. We know all this.

But it doesn't matter.

I don't really see why people are praising Scott Steiner as WCW World Champion. He's still not half the wrestler he was five years ago, he looks like a moron with that headdress that he wears, and his promo skills still aren't all that great. What's more, his current character still generates a decent amount of face heat, which makes him somewhat ineffective when it comes time for Goldberg to take his title back.

Let's ask ourselves this question: how has Sid managed to stay in this business? I mean, he stabbed Arn Anderson with a pair of scissors, has run off to play softball on multiple occasions, has limited promo capabilities, and has the workrate of a slug. With that kind of a downside, there has to be SOMETHING to make Sid worth it.

And there is. Sid still looks like he could beat the living bejeezus out of just about anyone. That kind of a look goes a long way in wrestling, and Sid has it. He's big and he's mean, and his powerbombs and chokeslams look very good. Of course, no one on the internet really gives a damn about a chokeslam or a powerbomb, but fans in the arena do.

OK, so Sid isn't a complete waste. But why should he be in the world title hunt while more talented wrestlers like Mike Awesome, Shane Douglas, Jeff Jarrett, and Bam Bam Bigelow languish in the midcard (I'm not mentioning cruisers, because they really don't make convincing world champions). Well, Sid does have a legitimate point for motivation: he never lost the World title (of course, for my money, he never really won it...but that's just me). But if Sid can manage not to suck too bad as World Champ, then he'll be the perfect opponent for Goldberg once Goldberg finishes that streak business.

Not only did Sid never lose the World title, he never really lost the US title to Goldberg...a final showdown between Sid and Goldberg for the World Title could probably draw about as much as anything else in WCW at this point. I might even suggest giving them the Hogan-Warrior 1 treatment, and have them rehearse their match until they can deliver a truly epic showdown.

Say what you will about Goldberg and Sid. Say that their hearts aren't always in the business. Say that they don't deliver anything resembling technically sound matches. But don't say that they don't have the look of two superhuman wrecking machines. And don't say that Joe Q. Public the Wrestling Fan doesn't want to see two superhuman wrecking machines collide for the most prestigious belt in the industry (the WCW belt itself is more presitigious than the WWF Title, even if the title it represents has been devalued ridiculously).

Once again, WCW has the key to its salvation in its hands. But who would have thought that Sid Vicious could be involved? I think he can be, and we'll just have to see if WCW can pull it off. If they do, look out.

Until next week, I'm Dartmouth Dan Doomsday, and this has been the Device.

TO HELL WITH YALE!!!

Dartmouth Dan Doomsday
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