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Dan Doomsday

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THE DEVICE

Hello, everyone, this is Dartmouth Dan Doomsday, the World's Most Dangerous Columnist, and you're reading the most electrifying column in sports entertainment today, the Device. Going for a little bit of a format change this week; since basketball season is over, and I have not seen a movie, read a good book, or done any such thing, I will refrain from EXTRANEOUS BULLSHIT for this week. In addition, there will be no fancy title this week. I'm just going to hit you with straight commentary on the world of professional wrestling. By the way, welcome to all of you new readers who are reading this on The Shooters.

Some time ago, my mother attended a lecture by a psychologist, and then bought her self-help tape. I don't remember the psychologist's name , but the tape was called You Don't Need to be Perfect to be Excellent. In examining the events of the week that was in professional wrestling, I find this title particularly meaningful.

The growth of the Internet Wrestling Community have put a great deal of focus on the Monday Night Wars. One of the favorite topics of discourse among us "smart marks" is which promotion is better, the WWF or WCW. Furthermore, when WCW brought back Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff a couple of months ago, it regenerated interest in the Nielsen ratings, and raised the question of whether WCW could once again overtake their competitors to the north.

Well, guess what? They can't, and we shouldn't expect them to be able to. The WWF is the leader in this business. It's the most successful wrestling promotion in the world, and furthermore, the WWF is more successful than it's ever been before. You're not going to beat the kind of success the WWF is enjoying right now. It's a simple truth: WCW is not going to beat the WWF. The WWF is going to beat the WWF. The only thing that will sink the WWF at this point is the ineptitude of one Vincent K. McMahon, and if there's one thing that Vince McMahon is not, it's inept.

However, that's not to say that there is no hope for WCW. Just as you don't have to be perfect to be excellent, you don't have to be better than the WWF to be pretty damn good, and that's what this column is about.

Last night on Nitro, WCW looked much more like a damn good wrestling promotion, and a lot less like a promotion that's going to lose over 60 million dollars this year.

Last night on Nitro, we saw the much-awaited emergence of Bill Goldberg as a cold-hearted villain, thanks to Hacksaw Jim Duggan. Hacksaw is one of those guys you can't help but love, whether you're the greenest of marks or the most narrow-minded workrate nazi on the planet. There's something comfortable about him. He's an old-school hero, and watching him in the ring makes you feel like a kid again. Watching Bill Goldberg pound him mercilessly makes you sad. At least, that's the effect it had on me, as opposed to watching Goldberg's pounding of Hulk Hogan, which failed to affect me in anyway, as Hogan has allowed himself to become "played out." Last night on Nitro, Bill Goldberg coldly destroyed every wrestling fan's favorite uncle, and that works.

Last night on Nitro, we saw a damn good wrestling match between Lance Storm and the Disco Inferno. At the very worst, Lance Storm is primed to fill the shoes of Chris Benoit, with his ability to put on a damn good wrestling match, no matter how bad the rest of the show is. At best, he could become WCW's answer to the WWF incarnation of the Crippler: badass Canadian who gets over on his in-ring work. In any case, we're now assured of some good CANADIAN VIOLENCE in WCW (No, I'm not Canadian, but I have cousins in Ottawa, whom I love very dearly, so I feel this entitles me to use the phrase).

We saw an auspicious debut from an exciting team in the tandem of Mark Jendrak and Sean O'Hare. These are guys who appear to have everything it takes to be stars. They have a good wrestling look, good athleticism, and what appears to be a decent reserve of charisma. I really hope to see a lot more of these two guys in the future. They could be just what WCW's tag division needs.

Add a nice appearance from the Jung Dragons, Tank Abbott's entertaining if goofy fixation with 3Count, and Terry Funk's training of Johnny the Bull, and it's really NOT A BAD SHOW. It wasn't better than RAW, but it was NOT A BAD SHOW. In fact, it was a good show. The main event didn't exactly hold my interest, but I believe that that's due to the expectation that Vince Russo and Eric Bischoff will return to the fold. I've seen much worse, though. I've seen worse than Scott Steiner's chase of Jeff Jarrett. I've seen worse than Kevin Nash's feud with Goldberg over Scott Hall's contract. I'll take this over Cheatum the Evil Midget, the Goon, Jean-Pierre Lefitte, Issac Yankem DDS, the Dog, the Undertaker-Yokozuna casket match from Royal Rumble '94, Duke the Dumpster Droese, or just about any other similar character or situation. All of those things I just mentioned were BAD things, and there was nothing on last night's Nitro that was even CLOSE to being that bad.

Was RAW better last night? Probably. I love Mick Foley as the new WWF commisioner, particularly his imitation of Triple H-uh and his scenes with Edge and Christian. My friend Kenny says that Mick should have a little schtick with the Maple Leaf Blondes, and I agree wholeheartedly. And the Rock vs. Angle and Jericho vs. HHH programs that will come out of the Rock/Jericho vs. Angle/HHH main event on Smackdown (you heard it here first) look to be entertaining.

Still, though, for the time being, the success of WCW as a promotion has nothing to do with the WWF. Terry Taylor is doing what Russo and Bischoff needed to do all along: stop worrying about the competition, and start worrying about yourself. With the Great Muta on the way, WCW can only get better. Muta may rest more between spots on this side of the Pacific, but American crowds still love those spots, and it Terry Taylor is smart (and I think he is), Muta will have plenty of opportunities to unleash those spots. WCW is on its way again. They may not beat the WWF, but they don't have to. They just need to be as good a promotion as they can be, and that's what they appear to be working on. Until next week, I'm Dartmouth Dan Doomsday. Send all feedback to dandoomsday@wrestlingfanz.com, and keep reading, because READING IS FUNDAMENTAL! Goodnight, everybody!

Dartmouth Dan Doomsday
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