Never mind that I can't name a single Dead song other than "Touch of Grey," and that's just because VH1 use to use it in a commercial for something. I just happen to feel that the quote is very appropriate to my current state of mind.

This past weekend, I traveled to Pepperdine University to compete in the Final Four of the 18th Annual National Academic Championship, which you can check out at www.qunlimited.com. We took 2nd in the tournament, which is the best my school has ever done.

So, we're supposed to fly back to New York at 7AM Monday morning, Pacific time. So we wake up at 4 in the morning to go to the airport, only to find out that our flight has been cancelled, and they've put us on another flight at 2PM. Translation, we spend the next 8 hours in the airport, combined with another 5 hours on the plane.

I read a lot of magazines. Premiere had a great article on the new X-Men movie, which looks like it's going to kick some serious ass. SLAM had great articles on Muggsy Bogues and Charles Barkley, not to mention an interview with Shawn Kemp, the general gist of which is "Waaaah." SPIN has a tremendous article about Phish, not to mention a pretty damn good one about Matchbox 20. MAD rocked with some good graduation-themed stuff, which is very cool right now, as I'm about to graduate from high school (classes ended last week).

I listened to a lot of music. The new Bon Jovi album is GREAT, especially the new single, "It's My Life," plus "Next 100 Years," and "Two Story Town," among other great tracks. I also had Beatles Anthology 1 and Phish's A Live One album, both of which are great, but you probably already knew that. If you didn't, well, then you should buy all of the aforementioned albums.

I also finished reading So Long, And Thaks for All the Fish, which, for those of you who don't know the answer to the Great Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything, is the fourth book in Douglas Adams' brilliant Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. It's a great series, and you should definitely read it. It will enrich your life twenty times more than this column ever could...unless, of course, I used this column to reprint the series, book by book, which lead to me having my ass sued, and that would be very unpleasant.

Then I got home just in time to see the Lakers celebrating their title victory, the second half of which I listened to on the way home. I knew my boys could do it, and now they've done it, and I think I just might be the only guy on any of these sites who gets to gloat over the NBA this season. WOW, that feels good!

Of course, thanks to the fine folks at United Airlines (who wouldn't even let us spend our time in their special lounge thing, whatever it's called), I missed all of RAW on Monday, and all of Nitro that was worth watching. I missed the WCW debut of Lance Storm. I missed the return of Three Count and the Jung Dragons. I missed some stuff on RAW that, as it turns out, was very missable. I saw enough of the replay to know that Goldberg's heel turn isn't working, and that if this new creative team gets to keep their position, that they should turn him back face as soon as is humanly possible.

Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, this is the Device, and I am Dartmouth Dan Doomsday. Props to Heather for her response to my last column, and congrats to Scott Keith on his book deal. And since I already did my extraneous bullshit, so now I may as well get to my main idea for the week, which is...

Since you all now know what I did when I was coming back from LA, I suppose you might be interested in what I was doing on the way out there. Well, a friend of mine and former wrestling fan asked me a lot of questions about the history of wrestling in the 90's.

So I told him about the Disney tapings. I told him about the MSG incident. I told him about KOTR 1996. I told him about the Montreal incident. I told him about the rise of WCW. I told him about the resurgence of the WWF. I didn't tell him much that you couldn't find in Netco...er, Scott Keith...no, screw it, Netcop's Retro Rant for WCW 1993, the King Lear Rant, and the Lazarus Rant. Oh, by the way, Scott Keith is the Netcop. Scott Keith is the Netcop. Scott Keith is the Netcop. Scott Keith is the Netcop. See, this is one of the advantages of being an insignificant little web columnist, as opposed to a fairly significant web columnist with his own book deal: I can say that, and nothing's going to come of it. Hell, I could be the Netcop, and I'd still have to bum rides off people (actually, I wouldn't, since I have a car, but I felt like making a Semi-Vague Reference).

But in telling him about all of the backstage happenings, I couldn't help but feel like I was missing the point. And in a way, I was missing the point. This isn't the stuff that makes me a wrestling fan. The moments make me a wrestling fan. And while the moments are often tied into the backstage stuff, the moments deserve their own life, and their own attention.

Like the time when my dad took me to Nassau Coliseum to see a house show, and it was announced, out of nowhere, that earlier that week, Bret Hart had beat Ric Flair for the WWF title. I remember Bret narrowly escaping with the belt that night after taking a shitkicking of the first order from Nailz.

Then there was one of my favorite RAW moments ever: The Diana Incident. It was part of the buildup to Shawn Michaels' first WWF title match with the British Bulldog, and Jim Cornette and the Smiths approached Shawn in the ring and accused him of making a play on Diana. After Cornette went on a classic tirade about what Michaels supposedly did, Diana took the mic, and said, "Shawn, I know you want me." Michaels proceeded to deliver two of my favorite lines in WWF history: "Mrs. Smith, with all due respect, please: do not flatter yourself," and then, after Diana slapped him, "Well, I guess we now know who wears the pants in the Smith family." The look on Davey Boy's face at that moment was aboslutely priceless, and he proceeded to have a pretty stiff-looking brawl with HBK. One of the thoroughly underrated RAW moments of all time.

Then, of course, there was the Kid. I remember watching Sean Waltman as a jobber in the early-90's WWF. I remember seeing his cool outfits and actual wrestling name (as opposed to a real name), and I kept thinking, "he can't be a nothing guy" (the word jobber had not yet entered my vocabulary). But I watched him job to Shawn Michaels, I watched him job to a bunch of WWF midcarders, and then I thought I was going to watch him job to Razor Ramon. Boy, was I wrong. In addition to pulling out a moonsault press, which was never seen in the WWF at that point, he actually WON THE MATCH!

Now that I think about it, a lot of my favorite wrestling moments involve the Kid. Like the time he and Barry Horowitz were about as far away from beating the Quebecers for the tag straps as Bischoff's lips from Hogan's ass. I thought that the Kid was going to pull it off, and I was pissed off when he didn't. Then there was the time that he and Marty Janetty actually DID beat the Quebecers, and I thought that I was going to get to watch my four favorite wrestlers at the time (Bret Hart, Owen Hart, Janetty, the Kid) in a tag match at the Royal Rumble. Man, was I pissed when they lost the straps back to the Quebecers one week later.

Since I've become a "smart fan," though, the moments seem to be fewer and further between. I can think of some: the debut of Chris Jericho, the Hardys' splash/legdrop combo through a table at the Royal Rumble, the Rock's abuse of Michael Cole (the one where he got Cole to smell his hand). But in a lot of ways, the thrill isn't there as much anymore. I guess the Internet jades you a little bit. I guess I have to think about that.

In the meantime, though, I'm gonna go see if the Smackdown spoilers are up.

READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!!!