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Dan Doomsday

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THE DEVICE

Hello everyone, and welcome to another edition of the most electrifying column in sports entertainment today, THE DEVICE. I'm your party host, the World's Most Dangerous Columnist, the Pride of 2Dope, the SEMI-GRAND SHIT DISTURBER TRIPLE D, Dartmouth Dan Doomsday, still in excellent spirits after Sunday's extraordinary Royal Rumble, and I'll tell you more about that (ore one aspect of it, at least) right after this EXTRANEOUS BULLSHIT (hey, where'd the HTML go?)...

DOOMSDAY ON MOVIES: I saw Galaxy Quest last week, and as a bigtime Star Trek fan, I loved it...Tim Allen has the William Shatner act down perfectly, and the movie is just extremely well written. I highly recommend it!

DOOMSDAY ON MUSIC: This week's pick from my collection of vinyl: Bruce Springsteen, Greetings From Asbury Park, NJ. Good music to relax to. This was his first, probably not his best, but it's still damn good.

DOOMSDAY ON FOOTBALL: So, who's going to win the Superbowl? Well, as the Rock might say, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO'S GOING TO WIN THE SUPERBOWL!! I'm picking Tennessee, I guess, but I don't care enough about the teams involved to have an opinion. Bring on those commercials!!!

Okay, that's enough of that...now it's time to talk wrestling. I think we all agree that the Royal Rumble was one of the best wrestling pay-per-views in a very long time. I was there, and I won't tell you any differently. The WWF went all-out, and the crowd ate it up. But what's more important, if you listened real closely at the Royal Rumble, you just might have heard a...

Swan Song

The 2000 Royal Rumble was filled with memorable moments.

There was the deafening pop that answered the orange symbol and greeted the arrival of Tazz. The crowd helped get Tazz running on the path to stardom in the WWF.

There was the Hardy Boyz' splash/legdrop combo onto Buh Buh Ray Dudley through a table, one of the most memorable highspots I've ever seen, a spot that got the MSG crowd chanting "Holy Shit" in response. The Double Tables match was the greatest wrestling spectacle I've ever witnessed live, and I'm sure the other 20,000 fans who were in Madison Square Garden feel the same way.

There was Mae Young. The less said about that, the better, but for better or worse, it's a good representation of the WWF's new "attitude."

There was the Streetfight between Cactus Jack and Triple H, one of the most brutal matches ever to be contested in the WWF. Mick Foley, as predicted, pulled out all the stops in living up to his title of "The Hardcore Legend," and Triple H pulled out all the stops in solidifying his reputation as one of the best heels in the business. The match that resulted will be talked about for years.

There was the Royal Rumble performance of Rikishi Phatu, whose overwhelming popularity continues to amaze. Guilty pleasure? Perhaps, but professional wrestling is already a guilty pleasure in and of itself, and don't try and tell me otherwise!

But there was one moment from the Royal Rumble that I felt was the greatest moment of all.

Picture: The Big Bossman, Rikishi Phatu, Test, the British Bulldog, Gangrel, and Edge brawling in the ring. The ten second countdown starts to bring in #14, and the fans chant along in anticipation. Will it be the Rock? Will it be Kane? How about the Big Show? The buzzer sounds, the music hits, and it's..."Hail to the Chief?" The MSG faithful stand in unison, perhaps expecting to see someone wearing a Hillary Clinton mask (by the way, if you live in New York, vote Giuliani!!). Instead, WWF fans are pleasantly surprised as Bob Backlund walks out. Backlund gets a standing ovation. His participation is brief, as he participates in the gang elimination of Rikishi, then gets dropkicked out by Chris Jericho a few minutes later, but that's not what's important.

For those few minutes, it wasn't about T&A.

It wasn't about insane highspots.

It wasn't about killer promos.

It wasn't about "attitude."

It was about Bob Backlund.

Bob Backlund wrestled most of his career in the 1970's and early 80's, as a clean-cut babyface champion. He didn't wear brightly colored outfits, he didn't say a whole lot, he just came to the ring and wrestled. And he was good. He was a master technical wrestler. Name a hold, Backlund knew it. He won the WWF championship twice in the 1970s, with his reigns totaling about six years.

Backlund was gone from the WWF for most of the Hogan era, but resurfaced in late 1992, proclaiming that it was his dream to once again wear the WWF title. Backlund's second WWF run saw him have difficulty getting over at first, but twoe years and one heel turn later, the man from Princeton, Minnesota achieved his dream, beating Bret Hart in a **** submission match at Survivor Series '94. Despite losing the belt to Diesel in a squash 6 days later, Backlund stuck around, putting Bret over in a much less memorable match at Wrestlemania 11. What followed was an entertaining bit of comedy, involving a mock Presidential campaign by Backlund. It never really did anything for me, but it was amusing. It was cool to see Backlund let loose that way, as most 1970's babyfaces had the personality of a spare tire.

Fast forward to the present. In that part of life we refer to as the "real world," Backlund is running for Congress in Connecticut's 1st District, and is the last person the MSG crowd expects to see in the Royal Rumble, but he came out and did it, and I marked out for it. But wait, there's more!

As I was leaving...I saw Backlund set up an autograph table by the stairs. It wasn't a full-blown session...you had to make a $10 contribution to his Congress campaign to get an autographed 8X10 glossy. I was more than happy to oblige however, since Backlund and I are both Republicans (actually, I'd probably pay for it anyway...I was without a souvenir on account of the Jericho shirts selling out). But there was a good sized line to get an autograph, and the MSG kids seemed to know about Backlund, asking why he didn't use the cross-face chicken wing, among other things. For his part, Backlund really seemed to be enjoying himself, going in and out of character as he interacted with the crowd. From what I understand, he even jokingly chased a fan down the stairs.

I think that Sunday might well go down as the last time anyone sees Bob Backlund wrestle. And maybe one day, I'll tell my kids that I was there the last time Bob Backlund wrestled in Madison Square Garden. Nah, they probably wouldn't care any more than I care about...oh, I don't know...Stan Stasiak.

But you know what?

I'll still remember Bob Backlund.

Because I care.

Should I go for the full Hyatte effect and say, "This is Doomsday?" Nah, I'll just thank you for dropping by, ask you to e-mail me at dandoomsday@wrestlingfanz.com, and thank you for reading, because READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!!!! Goodnight, everybody.

Dartmouth Dan Doomsday
2dope

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