Those of you reading this on [slash] wrestling may have read Mr. Moore's little parody of me and my [slash] colleagues. I must say, I laughed my ass off. Not that I want to see "The Contraption" every week, but hey, it was funny. Especially since Moore got CRZ to put "Extraneous Horsecrap" into that little bold yellow type, which I wish he would use for EXTRANEOUS BULLSHIT. Oh, well. And the Portland Trailblazers can bite my ass. Job well done, Moore.

Speaking of job well done, many props to Tammy Lynn Sytch. Funny, though, that she can get a response out of Shannon in one week, when it took me a year...oh, what the hell, let's just say....

SYTCH 1, SHANNON 0

DOOMSDAY 6, SHANNON 0

DOOMSDAY ON MUSIC: Highly recommend the new Metallica album, S&M. Most of the Metallica classics you love (No "And Justice For All"), with the San Francisco Symphony adding some really cool parts to create a mind-blowing musical experience.

DOOMSDAY ON MOVIES: Video pick for this week is My Blue Heaven, starring Steve Martin and Rick Moranis. Hilarious movie, with Martin turning in a phenomenally funny performance as mob informant Vincent Antonelli.

DOOMSDAY ON TV: I'm really digging the new MTV game show, WebRiot. Ahmet Zappa is actually kind of cool now that the WWF's not actually trying to get me to watch his show after Raw, and I like playing along at home...I'm pretty good, too...I usually score in the mid 6000's

DOOMSDAY ON BASKETBALL: OK, so the Kings beat the Lakers...whoop-de-damn-do...the Kings are good , but they're not great, and the Lakers will be great...I guaran-damn-tee...and the Blazers can bite my ass.

DOOMSDAY ON FOOTBALL: Nice one to Moore with the Snickers reference, but it can't change the fact that my Jets have been reduced to the spoilers...damn...well, they'll bne the best damn spoilers you ever saw...Come on now!! J E T S, JETS JETS JETS JETS!!!!

Okay, enough of that, time to get down to business...this week, I'm about to take an in-depth Device look at one of the wrestling industry's most revered figures...it won't be all positive, but it will be completely and utterly honest, and it will indeed be a...

Not since Gordon Solie has a wrestling announcer been as widely respected as Jim Ross. Until recently, that is. Lately, JR seems to be under fire, with Ed Ferarra appearing on Nitro as "Oklahoma." Most people have been quick to jump on WCW for this extremely tasteless angle, and rightfully so. Besides Ferarra's parody being incredibly unfunny, the choice to mock Good Ole JR's Bell's Palsy was extremely tasteless, and if there was any friendship between Ross and Steve Williams, well, Steve Williams is a despicable human being.

However, maybe Jim Ross isn't the picture of perfection that everyone seems to like to paint him as. Frankly, there are a few things about JR that do kind of bother me. But first, let's talk about the positive.

I never heard Gordon Solie call a match. When I got into wrestling, he was in the waning phases of his career, which meant he was doing pay-per-view "Control Center" segments (hey, remember those?). I doubt, though, that he could possibly get as excited as Jim Ross does when he calls a match. And frankly, when you watch a match on TV, to a certain degree, it's only going to be as exciting as the people on TV think it is. That means the arena fans (props to the PTB for turning up the crowd noise on WCW shows), and that also means the announcer. Hell, Vince McMahon could probably name about as many moves as Hulk Hogan could do, and he was a great announcer, because he got into the matches. Not only does JR know the names of the wrestling moves, he gets very excited when he calls them. Hence his saying the name of the moves three times that Ferarra made fun of. The excitement factor is a lot of what makes JR a great announcer.

JR's schtick is actually very cool. "Slobberknocker" is the coolest wrestling phrase ever invented (with "Clubberin'," "Slapnuts," and anything the Rock says a few spots behind). I also like "Business is about to pick up." JR has good stuff like that that helps to set him apart from the pack.

Another hting that sets JR apart is his obsession with college football, one of the favorite target bits of all the anti-Ross peopel out there. I actually like JR's mention of college football. It's completely understandable, because it helps to give the WWF stars credibility as athletes, which they are. They may not be competitive athletes, but they are athletes, and the world should know. Hence the famous "Attitude" commercial, and hence JR's obesession with college football...besides, it's big in Oklahoma.

I do have to be honest, though. Some of JR's stuff does kind of bother me...he tends to use a bit too much vocabulary...case and point the "scinitillising Matt Hardy." Although, this too is excusable, given that he manages to come up with a lot of the great secondary names...he was the one who started calling Steve Austin "rattlesnake," which turned out to be great marketing. He also changed Paul Wight's moniker from "Big Nasty" to "Big Show," which I must say was a good change. Unfortunately, though, some of JR's instincts aren't that great. I don't think anyone thought much of the Rock as a "blue chipper," and it didn't take anyone too long to get sick of hearing about how Billy Gunn was the WWF's "greatest natural athlete." But you have to take the bad with the good.

That's the book on JR: you have to take the bad with the good, and the bad ain't all that bad...I know I promised to be a bit harder on JR, but you know what? JR is the man...he's one of the things that keeps RAW better than Nitro, even as the PTB accidentally manage to book Benoit amazingly well and give BRet the title that I've wanted him to win for two years. Until next week, this is Triple D, Dartmouth Dan Doomsday, saying...

DOOMSDAY 6, SHANNON 0