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WRESTLING MOVES 101

There are some moves that get used a LOT. People like to complain about those moves, and I don't understand why, so I'm gonna go through some of these moves:

CHINLOCK: The most vilified of basic wrestling moves, it's not that bad, really, it's not. Sometimes, for whatever reason, you need to take a break from the action, because it doesn't make sense to progress with the match, like in the X-Pac/Jericho match from Unforgiven (I applaud Scott Keith for pointing this out). The crowd wasn't watching, so they didn't do anything particularly exciting. It works. It also works in tag matches, because it sets up that little spot where the ref doesn't see the face make a tag, and it sets up a double team. Admittedly, it does get overused, i.e. in Berlyn vs. Duggan from Fall Brawl, but it's not that big a deal.

FAKE TEST-OF-STRENGTH: This move pisses me off, a lot. It was more passable in the 80's and early 90's, when the faces were really "goody-goodies" and the heels were clearly evil. The heel challenges the face to a test of strength, then kicks the face in the stomach when he accepts. Now, though, some faces, like Chris Benoit, Konnan, etc., aren't "nice guys." There's no reason for them to fall for that trick, and it really screws up my enjoyment of a match.

BACK BODYDROP: This move is a classic face move. When the heel gets flipped high into the air, it gets a crowd excited. I hate seeing heels try it, though, because it works as well for them as a powerbomb attempt on Kidman. It's a staple of wrestling, or a throwback, call it what you will, I'd like to see more of these.

POWERSLAM: People don't give the powerslam enough respect. A good powerslam goes a long way in a match. Even in these days of corkscrew planchas, missle dropkicks, and frogsplashes, a good powerslam gets a huge pop out of the crowd, and a move is only as good as the fans in the arena think it is. The beauty of the powerslam is the impact of the victim on the mat. Because the victim's back absorbs the entire blow, a wrestler can deliver a vicious-looking powerslam, with a really loud impact, while inflicting little real-life damage on his opponent. No one has made better use of this underrated move than Lex Luger...oops, I meant the Total Package. He really is a Narcissist, isn't he?

CLOTHESLINE: It's amazing how many times this move gets screwed up. It's not being used nearly enough these days. Just because the focus is turning towards "sports entertainment" doesn't mean that matches that don't involve mat wrestlers can't have something other than kicks and punches. Rick Steiner has a great clothesline, and so does Bradshaw, not to mention Luger. Guys like Luger and Bradshaw use these moves well, because it's a good crowd-pleasing move that takes the focus on their lack of ring skills.

This is just a sampling. People like to complain about too much garbage wrestling, and then when wrestlers pull out these basic moves, these same fans complain. YOU CAN'T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS! Just because guys like Hogan and Luger and Faarooq can't do moonsaults or complex reversal sequences doesn't mean they're not entitled to go out and make a living in the ring. Until next week, this is Dan Doomsday. E-mail me, and thanks for reading, because READING IS FUNDAMENTAL!! Thank you and goodnight.

Dan Doomsday
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