Well, *FINALLY* the Rick (sorry, not Scaia...) has come BACK to slash wrestling!!!

After attending last week's UK exclusive PPV, Rebellion at Birmingham's state-of-the-art NIA, I have devoted the past few days to adapting to being back at university, living away from home, learning to shop/cook for myself, and of course, attend lectures...

As I write this, it is Sunday morning and I hope that Chris can find the time to put this up relatively soon after he gets back from his well-earned holiday...

Before I begin the review of the show (which will be from a production/work-rate point-of-view-by now, everyone knows the results: check out OO, Scoops or even WWF.Com if you don't) I need to "name and shame" the NIA marshalls. Now I don't know how things are handled in the US, but last Saturday, I witnessed the WORST queue (that's line, I guess, for my American readers!) There were NO stewards controlling the queue: I arrived almost 1hour before the doors were due to open, and there were two HUGE lines of fans, snaking around the arena with no visible "end" in sight. I did find an end, but eventually I learned that I was in the line for the WRONG entrance, and had to make my way to the end of the correct queue. Fortunately, the staff *DID* manage to get everyone inside in time for the show (I reckon they did it with around 15 mins to spare, mind you...), but this was surely by luck as opposed to good planning. Funnily enough, the last time I encountered lousy queue-control was at the Birmingham NEC for One Night Only, and the NIA belongs to the NEC Group of companies. At Mayhem in Manchester, and at Capital Carnage the control of the line was superb.

When I took my seat with only 20mins until showtime, I was intially struck by the FANTASTIC stage set that the WWFE road-crew had assembled to my right. It marked the first time that the FULL-SIZE Entertainment-Tron had appeared in the UK, and I also noticed that the pyro-scorched grille that makes up the RAW stage was also integrated into the design. I had a quick look up into the ceiling: no cage, so I hoped that there would be a more professional construction job than was evident at the previous week's Unforgiven. I was relieved to find that I was opposite the hard camera position: I *would* have the opportunity to get my slash-wrestling sign on tv after all! My seat was directly in line with the announcing and timekeeping tables, and I realised what an ass I had been in chasing floor-seats in previous shows. From here I had an awesome, unobstructed view of the stage, the ramp, the announcers and of course, the ring. I can tell you now that I will be getting the same seats for Earl's Court in May 2000.

"Sir" Anthony Chimel (as JR calls him) comes out to do his standard (don't throw things, use laserpens or take fancy photos, or we'll break your legs, although *he* says you'll be arrested/ejected. He runs through the lineup, and I am disappointed to hear that Mick Foley has missed his shot here in the UK, so I guess there'll be no Shane O-Mac match tonight either. I knew going in that X-Pac was taking on Davey Boy, but did NOT realise that Bossman and Mr Ass would join Foley in no-showing. I guess that the election commitments of The King was the reason behind Michael Hayes doing colour commentary for the evening. However, when you watch the tape (and for reasons I will explain later, you *should* buy or rent this home video) I think he did a good job: is he this good on Smackdown! ?

Match 1 Jeff Jarrett vs D-Lo Brown
WWF Intercontinental Championship

Pre-match sees Jeff entice a plant from the front-row to come into the ring to "clean crap up". Of course, he puts her in the figure-four, and I think that Sky won't be too pleased about this man-on-woman violence only five minutes into the PPV. However, Jarrett soon gets his comeuppance when Chyna comes down to make the save. Sorry, but this whole angle has totally destroyed her heel heat: is she the first face 'valet' to team with a heel?

Winner: Jeff Jarrett, after Kitty distracts the ref, allowing Jarrett to nail D-Lo with the vacumn cleaner for the pin.

Only notable for the lap-dancers from local table-dancing establishments portraying Godfather's ho's, Godfather soon hits the Ho-Train/Pimp Drop combo for the 1-2-3.

Can you say squash? Sadly, Mizark comes out to ZERO response, Val does a laboured "my dick's like rugby" routine, then hits the Money-shot, which looks cool, since about a hundred camera flashes go off whilst he's in the air.

No, there *weren't* any breasts exposed in the course of this match, but I did get on TV, which was a plus point. Just after Ivory makes her way down the ramp, the picture cuts to me (you don't see my face very well, though) with my "Ivory gives you the Horn" placard. I was holding my sign and the cameraman focused right on me, motioned to hold my sign up, the red light on the camera came on, and I knew my 15 seconds of fame had come up. I previously had been photographed by WWF lead photographer, Tom Buchanan, at Capital Carnage, but the picture has never appeared in a WWF publication.

The Bulldog interrupts this one, giving Chyna the running powerslam, which I heartly cheer, much to the bewilderment of the fans around me. I learn that a match is scheduled between these two on Raw: see what I meant earlier about the PPV shaping the storylines on Raw/Smackdown! (BTW, a fan in the front row, opposite the hard camera has a HUGE "We Want Smackdown!" sign: nice one, lad, I don't think my sign could be clearly read when it appeared on camera prior to the main event.)

What a treat this match was! Even though the ending was slightly screwy (Road-Dogg fought Hughes on the apron, turning back into a low-blow), this was easily Jericho's best match since arriving in the WWF. I would have said that this was the match of the night, but the main event would go on to eclipse it.

Interesting fact: only two of Kane's flashpots work; OOPS! Solid encounter, enlivened by Paul Wight's terrific riposte to a heckler: in a perfect Cockney accent he fires back "Shut up, you fucking wanker!" Surprisingly, Hayes acknowledges this and JR apologises for Big Show's language.
Winner: Kane kicks a chairshot attemot back into the Big Show's face, and slams him for the pin.

Nothing here warranted a semi-final billing, but I was impressed by just how stiff Bradshaw's "clothesline from hell" looks in real life.

The Finish: Triple H tries to bring a chair into the cage, and Hebner says "no way, pal!", therefore HHH punks him out. The Rock quickly stuns Triple H and escapes from the cage. I, at this point, get totally lost in the excitement, and mark out for what I thought was a World Title change before my very eyes. I soon come to my senses and realise that as Hebner is unconcsious, I will have to wait until my first US PPV trip to see a World Title change (hopefully)... Anyhoo, Triple H and The Rock brawl to the announce position, and the Rock hits Triple H with what appears to be a weak chairshot to the face. Somehow, this looks a LOT stiffer in close-up on TV: I'd have thought the opposite would be true... It is quickly evident that Triple H has bladed (and done a fine job of it, too) and on TV, The Rock makes some remarks that it is "monkey piss" oozing from the champ and not blood! Rock drops an elbow on Triple H whilst prone on the announce table-it doesn't break-so he climbs up the side of the cage and does it again from a greater height. This time, one of the legs buckles, but the table doesn't really break. (It's about time that they pack one of the standard WWF booths if they want to do table spots in the UK) As soon as they return to the ring, I check the entrance ramp for Bulldog's inevitable run-in. Sure enough, he comes down and impedes the Rock's attempts at escape in front of a now-recovered Hebner. Shane O-Mac, who has returned from the hospital where Stephanie was taken, takes on the Bulldog, but gets a running powerslam on the floor for his troubles. (I am totally marking out for this interference festival, by the way) Sticking to established backstory, Test's two best men, and Stephanie's fiercest protectors, Paterson and Briscoe (who NOBODY thought/knew were in attendance), attempt to attack Davey, but are also no match for the wild Englishman. The Rock is about to escape, when Chyna returns and slams the door WICKEDLY into the Rock's face (in fact, he should also have bladed to match the ferocity with realistic consequences) Bulldog gets back in the cage, and rumbles with The Rock, allowing Triple H to retain his belt by escaping over the cage. Then Vince returns to padlock the Bulldog in the cage, so that he may be Roack-Bottomed and taste the People's Elbow. My own theory is that Vince's intention was for the first few rows to hear his "Fuck You", and that sensitive mics meant that the entire PPV audience heard this. I cannot comment on whether Sky were comfortable with this, as I did not see the replay. If they muted it, they would have been seen to disapprove: however, if they left it in, I guess we were *SUPPOSED* to hear it, i.e., it was scripted, and they had consented to this. If anyone saw the replay, please e-mail me and let me know how Sky handled this, and HHH's crimson mask.