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SPECIAL COLUMN: WXO in Quotes Well I guess I let my UK bias shine through in my previous piece, not to mention gave away the fact that despite CRZ's exhortations to get us to read his WXO recaps, I did not... So, in order to atone for my less than exhaustive roundup of the month of January, let me furnish you all with the best soundbites from the WXO
A silver Mercedes arrives in the back - and a mysterious guy (looking a lot
like Dan Severn, although we never see his face) gets out and starts - yes!
WALKING!
Apollo goes over the barricade to grab a chair - only to have that GIANT FAN
we saw earlier hold onto the chair and not let him use it. Apollo decides to
take the fan BACK over the rail and wail away on him. This is old school!
Now we see HIS TWIN BROTHER hop over the railing and break things up -
which, of course begs the question - why did these guys sit in different
sections so far away from each other?
Elbow, into the corner, clothesline, and now he DOES get a chunk out of him
- Cruise keeps saying he's kissing him - I guess biting isn't
family-friendly.
Off the top rope with the headbutt - 1, 2, 3. (4:01) Fernandez kisses the
ref - hmm, I guess he really WAS kissing those other times. I blame the
camera work.
WHAT THE HECK DOES WXO STAND FOR? BeaFuddle offers "WXO - Wrestling Kiss Hug
- I think it's European"
The next set of TV tapings at Universal Studios appear to have been
mysteriously...postponed. This is what we in the business call "a bad sign."
And by "business," I mean "writing wrestling recaps for peanuts despite
having little (if any) inside knowledge."
Your hosts are CREEPY CHRIS CRUISE and SWEET STAN LANE. This week, we'll
visit the Egg Dome to see Bart Gunn & Johnny Ace in action, and we'll
probably also congratulate ourselves for being so family-friendly!
Lane points out the lack of pads on the concrete - when you go outside,
"you're gonna suck some cement!" Yeah, SCREW SAFETY!
Cruise now saying "Michael Barton" instead of "Bart Gunn" - must have been a
mistake the first time.
Our commentary team confuses a lot of us by going dubbed on us - every time
their lips say "Bart Gunn," the audio says "Michael Barton." Apparently, the
Lane would like to see Ace & Barton defending the All Japan tag titles here
on WXO - Cruise says "the shocking conclusion to that match" will be aired
in a couple weeks. Why not TONIGHT? Who can say?
Backstage, Fred Ottman - ARRIVES! But, he can't seem to get out of his tiny
sports car. I guess this is funny! Another SHOCKING entrance for the MASTER
Fred Ottman!
"I'm Shannon Doherty, and you're watching WB-20 - WB with us!" Shannon, I
wouldn't WB with YOU if you were the LAST WOMAN ON EARTH.
This is a SEISMIC SHIFT - wrestling you can watch with your children! Of
course, if you don't HAVE children, maybe you'd be better off buying
some...or something, I don't know.
Lane: "And notice that his fist was balled up - he wasn't slappin' anybody
like you'll see on some other channels!" Huh?
WHAT THE HECK DOES WXO STAND FOR? Apparently, judging by Cruise's inability
to correctly identify Japanese wrestlers, "Wildly Xenophobic Obiter dictum"
(Look it up.)
Man, won't Ace be surprised when he learns this organisation HAS NO BELTS?
Adonis with a back suplex to break THAT up. 1, 2, no. Hart: "What now?" CRZ:
"Now you SHUT UP."
...and then my VCR cut out. So, like a good reporter, I went to the Torch to
do some stealin'! And that would appear to be it... There weren't any more episodes listed under the search that I made, and living on this side of the Ocean, I really could not claim that I know (or possibly *care*) if this fed's still in existence. Neverthless, I hope that they are for I am big enough to acknowledge that there is a niche for those people who prefer a little more sports in their sports entertainment. One thing that DOES bug me: the fact that we don't get anything out of Memphis, especially Lawler's new promotion. I love the fact that (from what I have read) the tv show is filled with elaborate out-there angles, and that WWF mid-carders are actually woven into the fabric of the promotion. Let us pray for Mick and Treble H during their HiaC match: I wouldn't like to see either guy do something which is plainly taking things too far. Until next time, this has been
Richard Craig |
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