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/wrestling /guests /Cox |
| Guest Columns | Ronnie Cox |
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A THUMB IN THE EYE Welcome back to my little column I like to call A THUMB IN THE EYE. This is my third week of writing this and I am beginning to notice a pattern. It seems that a lot of the same people are always getting a cheap shot every week. Hmmm. Now call me old fashioned, but back where I come from, if someone is bagging on you all the time, we used to fix the problem. In this case, these people need to find a work ethic. All I am saying is that if you try a little harder, you might be able to see better. And off we go. For this lucky group, I wish I had a extra thumb. Fat Ass Pete Gas, Joey Flabs, and Rodney (keeper of the stupid haircut). I thought we weren't supposed to see these guys again. Doesn't Shane have something for them to do at his house ? Like mowing the lawn, or washing his cars ? We all know that they can't wrestle. Isn't this the second time we have seen Mankind beat the living crap out of these guys all at once. Not only do they really suck, they also take up valuable time. Maybe Finkel will start kicking their asses. I am the Undertaker, Lord Of Darkness and one of the worst guys on the stick. Mumble, mumble, uh, Big Slow,uh, stand up comic, uh, psst, what's my line ? I don't know but you better roll them eyes back in your head. The dreaded double thumbs and please take a class on Public Speaking at your local community college. What is wrong with the WWF and WCW and their tables ? Last week racing stripes, and this week, the collapsable table. You know the fine people who build exploding tables are going to have to find a different job now. If it wasn't for ECW, these guys would be flipping burgers or something. Bring back the exploding tables and I wont't have to do this every week. Poke. Lock the doors here comes that creepy vampire guy and the worlds most dangerous jobber. These two put on a hmmmm, really bad performance. Shamrock has gone straight down the crapper. I don't know if he is just burned out or if the writers just don't care. I feel sorry for Jericho. They could have found someone else for him to feud with. To liven up Gangrels routine, I think he needs to try and bite his opponents more, or maybe get one of those teeth knocked out. And then not get it fixed. Heres a Ultimate Fighting Thumb for Shamrock and The Finger for Gangrel. Thank you once again to the Y2J problem for ending the pain and suffering. He truly is trying to save us. Well look at that it's a 72 Pinto with a off color door. And getting out of it is Berlyn and some other people who are getting paid way too much. Alex Wright sucked before and he still sucks now. What kind of crap angle is this. According to someone at WCW, his debut went over great. Maybe I'm just hard to please. No I'm not. It just sucked. Plain and simple. Alex Wright please take your pointy thumb and stick it in your eye, repeat and rinse. If anyone who reads this knows who is responsible for the white hummer angle, please take their pulse. I know they are dead. Every week I say to myself, I don't think it could get any lamer and yet it does. Hey Lex did you see that Hogan also has a white Ford Bronco. I personally think that Lex is never going to be the impact player that he was and this is a feeble grab to retain some of that. Maybe K-Dogg needs a back up singer. One oversized steroid thumb for Lex. If you look closely at The Total Package it says return to sender. My name is The Disco Inferno and I am a jobber, not to mention a flaming pile of crap and a bad dancer. Do not give him any air time. What was up with that super fruity outfit this week. Almost makes Lenny and Lodi look normal. O.K. so he was the T.V. champion. Who hasn't been. For all I know, my name might even be on that list. Allright maybe mine isn't but I think CRZ had a short reign. Thank you to Rick Steiner for socking him up. Don't let it go to your head Steiner, I don't like you either. Poke. Looks like Hulk Hogan should have ate more vitamins and prayed a little harder. It appears that the steam is running out of the yellow and red campaign. What will he do next. Maybe he'll come out as Thunderlips. It appears as though you can only fool half the people some of the time, and all of the hardcore WCW fans all the time. The guy is beat. Here's a great idea, we'll have Goldberg carry his ancient ass. That will make the people happy right ? How about if Goldberg hits you hard enough to knock your tan off. That would get some ratings I bet. Quit while you are ahead. Wasn't that like three years ago ? A thumb to you and a one way ticket to the glue factory. Insert Ronnie tearing his shirt here. Here comes my favorite part. Let the chairshots begin. And this weeks lucky winner is, Sid. Wow, it seems that Sid has been mentioned three weeks in a row. Believe me, I wish someone would pull off something really stupid to dethrone him. But it looks like he just keeps out doing himself. I am starting to run out of things to bag on him for. Same stupid stunts every week. If he wants a legitimate record to beat, why doesn't he try to see how long he can go without picking up the microphone. Or how about trying to miss every show he is scheduled to be at. I am not a big Goldberg fan, but I do respect his record. This is a cheap attempt to get Sid over. At the expense of a legitimate record. Sid, your punishment should be a chairshot for everyone of your bogus victories. Well that's it for me this week. Thanks to CRZ and everyone who reads this. And a quick shout out to my Crew and the Koga Ninja girl. Keep it real, Ronnie Cox [slash] wrestling Mail the Author |
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