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/wrestling /guests /Cox |
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/wrestling /guests /Cox |
| Guest Columns | Ronnie Cox |
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A THUMB IN THE EYE Sometimes I really wish I had some intro music. Welcome back to A Thumb In The Eye. If you haven't read this before, it's just me running off at the mouth. Always hoping to change the world by bagging on it. Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this. And thanks again CRZ. Here we go sports fans. Thumb, thumb, shot to the throat. That's for my fine cable providers. Due to equipment failure your PPV cannot be purchased at this time. I hate these people. Hey HHH, look at that sign. Huh? 7th Wind thumb technique. Never saw it coming. Boy has he got to be pissed that Austin wouldn't lay down for him. HHH to me is the who cares champ. At this point in time I really don't think it means that much. Besides, he busted up J.R. That takes a lot of skill. When was the last time that HHH won a match with a clean pin. The way I look at HHH is the guy that is just missing that one crucial element that would make him great. Talent. A quick jab at Bradshaw for the nice promo piece for RAWs' tag title match. Look closely and you will find the missing member of The Village People. Boo hoo the Bossman stole my dog. I am very bummed to see these guys wrestle. And I am almost insulted by how stupid the stealing Pepper angle is. This is supposed to be the hardcore division and they are fighting over a dog. These guys don't really need any angles. Just put them in a garbage match and tell the arena that these guys are gonna beat the crap out of each other for your entertainment. One for Bossman, one for Al Snow and one for Pep uh you should know better dog. I don't want some animal rights group on my ass. This weeks Mystery Run In Partner is, The RAW is WAR chain link fence. It came out of the shadows to pop one of the refs in the melon. After seeing this on video, Mark Henry gave up the European title to the fence. May the fence have a long reign as a champion. Let's light one up for the JVC Kaboom Box, Kaboom of the Week. This message was paid for by Hempin Ain't Easy inc. Sorry I thought the big pot leaf sign was funny. That was a wicked bump for Shane though. It's nice to see him going the extra mile. Now I don't feel so bad about this. Poke. And pass it on to your old man and the rest of your family. Test, the brother-in-law. I love him Shane. Thumbs and thumb for everone. I've seen this on Lifetime before. Not by choice you know. It's bad enough that I watch WCW for its' few redeeming qualities. But to have the audio crew botch the sound is almost enough for me to stop the tape. I know they were playing that snappy WWF drinking game. Amazingly enough WCW didn't really have a lot of bad points this week. I'm sorry, I meant a lot of new bad points. Same crap as last week. They may have been the same matches. They just mixed up the intros to confuse me. Yawn, boring, watching paint dry is not appreciated nearly enough. Some body call my momma ! I'm gonna poke em in the eye. Then I get down on the good foot. I had a tough decision to make this week. I had two candidates for the mighty chairshots this week. And I feel this is the lesser of the two evils. If you have wrestlers doing guest commentary, please make sure that they know what they are there for. The Big Show would like four hotdogs, two big beers and some cotton candy. The Undertaker would like one of those Austin foam fingers and someone tell Paul Bearer that he can't order a pizza. I know that made no sense. But neither did these guys. You see what happens when Kane lets his human emotions take over. Ya, he gets a huge pop from the crowd and some new duds. Did these three really add anything to the match ? I'd have to say no. Every week it's the same thing. Beat up X-Pac, beat up Kane, spout some unintelligible crap, blah, bkah, blah. Kane I feel did a better job on commentary. Why ? Cause he didn't open his mouth. Taker and his crew need to shut their mouths and just beat people up. Sorry you guys aren't in the title shot loop right now. Maybe they can work you into the Stealing Pepper Angle if you ask real nice. Here's that foam finger you asked for. That's no finger, that's a thumb. You are correct sir. Undertaker gets one, The Big Show gets one and aw crap Paul Bearer ate it before I got a chance at him. If you are going to do commentary, please go to The Spanish Announce Table. Excuse me for a moment as I go get my chair. Ronnie takes a couple of practice swings and he's ready to go. If I run out and mess up decent matches. Will that put me over ? If I get on the stick and confuse everyone including myself. Will that get me the push I need ? If I give you a dollar, will you count my run in pins ? Sure why not. What the hell is going on here. WCW is more than happy to take a shot at the WWF for its sports entertainment wrestling. So what exactly are they trying to prove by counting Sids' run in pins ? I took out four fans, a beer vendor, and a bus full of kids. That makes my record 106 and 0 right ? Granted the WWF goes a little to far sometimes. But I don't see them adding numbers to someones win loss record. This whole thing with Sid is complete crap. Here comes Sid and here goes Ronnie fast forwarding the tape. I can only see this cheapening the build up for the Goldberg match. Sid will probably get injured before that and we will never see the match. Could we be so lucky. So my chairshots for the week go to five move Sid ( remember the nerve hold from last week) and the writers at WCW. Please step away from the crack pipe and your ratings won't get hurt. I don't think they could get any worse. Thanks again for reading this. The ECW wrestling figures are now available. Just in time for TNN. So make a mad dash to pick some up. Feel free to knock some people over in the process. Extreme shopping.
Keep it real, |
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