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Ronnie Cox

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A THUMB IN THE EYE

If you missed Mtv's WWF Rocks, find someone who has a tape of it. This was one of the best wrestling spinoffs I've seen in a while. Imagine Mr. Socko getting a BJ. Nuff said. I wanna give a quick shout out to Mike (thanks for the props) and everyone else who reads this, thanks.

Welcome to A THUMB IN THE EYE. You may be wondering why I picked this title. And if you didn't then don't pay attention for the next few sentances. I chose it because a thumb to the eye can stop any champion. I think it was Bobby Heenan that said that. This is my take on some of the finer moments from Monday night. As soon as ECW airs on TNN they will be included also. So here we go.

Ronnie cuts the giant ribbon, doves and balloons fly away, and the brass band fires up. And here it is, the First Official Thumb In The Eye, and it goes to Farooq. When I first made notes on this. I only had him down for that attempted backdrop against Kane. You know the one, you could have made a sandwich and came back to see him still bent over. I swear the seasons were changing out there. But as the match went on he got even worse. When they hit with the 3-D, he was so out of sync with Bradshaw. The double team powerbomb was a joke too. I think he was loaded to the gills off the booze. This ones for you Farooq.

I am a big fan of our next recipient. I really am. So with a tear in my eye, I give Good Ol' J.R. the next thumb in the eye. Oh no ! Not J.R. Afraid so folks. You see sometimes J.R. gets out of hand with his analogies. The one that sent me over the edge this week was, "Quicker than a hiccup". What the hell is he talking about. This isn't a cockroach race it's wrestling. Lay off the goofy, I mean really goofy analogies. I'm still scratching my head on this one. But as I scratch my head, J.R. is rubbing his eye. Next time duck.

His name is Berlyn he is determined. Yeah, determined to piss me off with his crappy promo. What is he ? A vampire pimp who listens to punk rock ? Good thing you are wearing glasses or this would really hurt. A European thumb in the eye for you.

I was not a big fan of Doink the Clown or his midget buddies. I feel that clowns have no business wrestling. Especially ones that can't wrestle. ICP should stick to outside interference and cheapshots. I would much rather give sponge baths at the old folks home than watch these two flail around the ring. I've seen better workers in backyard leagues. Get these clowns out of the ring. You also get one of those oversized plastic thumbs in the eyes. Clowns.

My thanks go out to Jericho for shutting down the deadman. He really needs to stick to trying to be scary or just beating the hell out of people. Please no more male bonding stories about you and The Big Slow. Nothing I could say would top Jerichos performance of making you look like a goof. Justice has been served.

Did anyone else notice the fine racing stripes on the tables Public Enemy brought out ? Kind of hard to. I guess it is a safety precaution. I do feel really bad for Finley It is unfortunate that some wrestlers have to wrestle in hardcore matches. But hey they have to eat too. Who ever is responsible for this at WCW should be dealt a thumb in the eye and one in the throat for good measures and a tigerbomb through a couple of tables.

The next three deserve much more than a cheap shot. These guys are first in line for a swift smack to the melon with a chair. Just seems a little more fitting. Tony Shiavone, Hulk Hogan, and Sid. Mr. Shiavone, you don't add the guys Sid took out to his record. The dumbass realized this later in the program. But still you are a idiot for saying it in the first place. As for the comments about Sid throwing water on you. Who cares ! Go back to the merch. vendor and get some dry ones. Nice feeble attempt at throwing water on Sid. Watching Hogan and Sid wrestle was like watching old people do it. Slow and sloppy. Both of them burn out in a matter of minutes. Both of these 4 move wonders were terrible in this match. Lame no sell bumps and crappy chairshots. Sorry I made a mistake. Sid is now a 5 move wonder with that nerve hold. Gotta waste 5 minutes, here comes a nerve hold, and I fall asleep. I was getting ready to stick my head in the oven. For the love of humanity Hogan, submit. Let this end. The best part of this match was the flying garbage at the end. The crowd got in better shots with their cups than these two did. I watched this part twice. The two in a row that hit Sid were sweet.

So that's it for this week, my thumb is starting to hurt. Thanks to everyone for reading this.

Keep it real,
Ronnie Cox
[slash] wrestling

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