|
/wrestling /guests /Conley |
|
|
/wrestling /guests /Conley |
| WWF SummerSlam '88 | by Greg Conley |
MainBLAH |
SUMMERSLAM '88
Mean Gene stuck in traffic- Scheme Gene is show sitting in traffic pissed off as they're stuck in traffic and Gene Okerlund can't get there in time to start the show. Ohhh lord...Billy Graham is announcing (with Gorilla Monsoon). Kill me.... 1) Fabulous Rougeaus (w/their little American flags) vs British Bulldogs (w/Matillda, the dog, not the movie) - The Fink announces the Fabulous ones from Canada but soon to be relocating in the U.S.A (Their whole entire gimmick was confusing). The Fabulous Rougeaus start off with the advantage even making Dynamire Kid shudder after a back suplex. 5 minutes into the match we get, what else, a resthold. Almost escapes but gets powered down again. He escapes and Dynamire Kid rolls him up but the ref in distracted. Dynamite then makes a tag but once again the ref is distracted. He then makes a hot tag. Powerslam in a crotcher on the top rope, puches, etc by Bulldog knocking the Canadian Americans down. Powerslam by Bulldog and a Flying Headbutt by Dynamite Kid for the apparent win but the "time limit expires." The Bulldogs are pissed after the match and the Canadians offer a handshake but they end up fighting back to the locker room. Billy Gramah- "Take it to the showers if you need to." Ewww.... (About 11-13 minutes, wasn't paying attention to my clock, ** 1/2) The match was actually pretty good but The Bulldogs were uninteresting here as there partnership was just about over. They show clips of Ron Bass cutting Brutus Beefcake with something from one of the WWF shows. It has an X with Censored on it. So because of a few cuts on his head Brutus won't be able to appear. Damn, if New Jack did that he'd never be able to wrestle fulltime. 2) "Oh my god they killed" Ken Paters vs. Bad News Brown - Bad News Brown gets no entrance and Patera gets absolutely no pop on his way to the ring. Bad News Brown attacks early and just pumbles on him for 40 seconds until Ken hits a clothesline. Ken ties him in the ropes and beats on him. He misses an elbow and Bad News pounds on him again and when he smashed his head into the turnbuckle Ken Patera's eyes rolled back in his head (Well itlease we have proof The Undertaker didn't invent that). The crowd is either taking a piss, buying a soda, buying a Hulk Hogan T-Shirt, or staring at the floor during this match. Eyerake by Bad News. Ken applies a Full Nelson but Brown quickly gets to the ropes. Ken misses a corner move and Bad News Brown nails the Ghetto Blaster for the win. (7 minutes, DUD) Simply a really bad match that had no storyline behind it. 3) "Ravising" Rick Rude (w/Bobby Heenan) vs. The Junk Yard Dog - I'm not even going to say what these two have in common because I'll end up getting fired. Rude starts out by saying the usual "What I'd like right now is to have all you fat, ugly, inner city sweathogs to shut up while I take off my robe and show these women what a real sexy man looks like." Has a great picture of JYD on his trunks... Rude attacks early. JYD hits a backdrop and some headbutts. Rude leaves the ring. JYD then proceeds to pull him back in. This match is just so interesting. Rude gains an advantage and hits a top-rope double axehandle and nails some elbows. Rude gets him in a sleeper. He then takes his elbow and puts it in between his legs and jumps on it and hurts himself. Ouch, I feel your pain Rick. JYD hits one of his 5 offensive moves a headbutt. Bobby Heenan gets on the apron and distacts the ref allowing him Rude to a hit a neckbreaker. He goes to the top rope and pulls down his tights to see Jake Robert's wife's face on it. Jake attacks and Rude runs away giving him the DQ victory (5 minutes, *) 4) The Powers Of Pain (w/The Baron) vs. The Russians (w/Slick) - Nothing to report here only that the Powers Of Pain had some awesome power moves and that the match was finished with a Powerslam, Flying Headbutt combo. A pointless time filler to tell the Russians "Your carreers with us are over" and to tell the fans "The Powers Of Pains are sadly here to stay." Well they weren't, as they broke up shortly after. (4 minutes, * 1/4 only for the power moves) Brother Love segment- Yet another potty segment here as Brother Love came out for his segment of love and made us all feal warm inside by telling of us "I Love You" in that annoying voice he had. He says someone is going to learn a lesson in love. And I pause the tape right here and wonder, who doesen't have a match on this card? Barry Horowitz, Ron Bass, or the worst wrestler of all of them "Jim Dugan." Well of course Jim Dugan comes out and yells what women love to here you call them. "Hooooooo." Dugan says he's a phony. Brother Love goes Dugan Brother Dugan and tells him he has no love and Dino Bravo has love for his country. Dugan gets pissed and tells him not to question his patriotism. Brother says when he looks at Dugan he sees a man with a 2x4. "That doesen't show me love." Dugan- "This is the WWF, not Sunday school." Dugan needed more school period. Dogan starts a 5 count and Brother love says he won't hit him, he has glasses, is a man of love, and then he says the words no woman will ever say to Dugan in his life, "I love you," and he hightails it out of there because Dugan started swinging his 2x4. 5)IC TItle Match- Honky Tonk Man (w/Jimmy Hart) vs. The Ultimate "Xena" Warrior "Princess" - You've probably heard a lot about this match. Warrior runs out like a lunatic, punches, slam, shoulderblock, splash, 1-2-3. (30 seconds, not rated) Bobby Heenan then comes out and tells the announcers that Ander, Ted, and Virgil are sitting in their lockerroom confident and Hogan and Savage are baracading the door the won't come out. Bobby says he's scared of heights and Billy holds onto him but Bobby says he doesen't trust him. Nice little segment. 6) Dino Bravo (w/Frenchy Martin) vs. Don Muraco - Superstar Billy Graham says he'd like to be up there with Don Muraco (To see him get squashed). At this time Dino Bravo was new to the federation and he needed a squash to make him look good. And also, Sign Guy Dudley is not the Original Sign Guy. French Martin is. He had one big sign a piece of wood with him. Heenan has joined them on commentary. Don quickly nails Frenchy Martin off the ring apron. They fight for 30 seconds then the ref gets knocked down but gets back up. Dino then hits side suplex for the win. (2 minutes, DUD). Just a bad match. Don was at the end of his carreer here and this would be the start of an unsuccesful carreer. 7) WWF Tag Team Title Match- Demolition (w/Jimmy Hart and Mr. Fuji) vs. The Hart Foundation - Ax beats on Hart but he's able to fight back and gain an offense. Bret gets a rollup but Smash comes in. Bret tags out to Neidhart. Jim hits a shoulderblock but as he goes off the ropes he kicks him in the back of the neck. Smash beats on Neidhart witht he classic axehandles to the back. Tag out to Ax. Neidhart nails him and tags out to Bret. Dropkick on Smash. Bret run into the corner shoulder first and hits Mr. Fuji's cane. Ax works on his injured arm and Smash gets in. Bret gets the boot in and tags out. Dropkick by Neidhart. Big clothesline by Jim. They throw them to the outside and Bret slingshots Neidhart to the floor. Great move. They get back in the room and hits another powerslam. 1-2-kickout. Bret gets in and nails a backbreaker. It then turns into a four way brawl. Jimmy Hart throws in the megaphone as the ref is distracted and Ax nails Bret with it for the 1-2-3. (8 minutes, ***) Great tag team match. Best of the night. 8) Ko Ko B. Ware (w/Frankie) vs. The Big Boss Man (w/"The Doctor Of Style" Slick) - Ko Ko B. Ware is here at Summer Slam to put over yet another green wrestler. This time his name is Big Boss Man. During the whole match Boss Man is thinking about eating Frankie. Boss Man beats on him the first minute of the match. But Ko Ko ends up dropkicking The Big Boss Man and he got tied in the ropes. Ko Ko nails him with a jumping headbutt type move while he's tied in the ropes. He gets out and he's pissed. He headbutts him, kicks him, and gives him a hard clothesline. Chokes Ko Ko and follows it up with slam. He then misses a flying kneedrop. Ouch. Ko Ko hits some quick jabs and nails Boss Man with a flying dropkick. Bossman gains advantage and then nails Ko Ko with the Boss Man Slam for the 1-2-3. (Rating * 1/2, 5-6 minutes). The thing about this match was that it wasn't JUST a squash. It was a competitive squash which gave it that extra 1/2 of a star. 9) Hercules vs. Jake Roberts (w/Damian) - Jake comes to the ring with WCW jobber Damian. Ehh... It was the snake. Same thing, there both ugly and will bite you. Roberts nails him but Hercules powers him into the corner amd nails him. Hercules whips him off the ropes and puts his head down. Jake kneelifts him and Hercules goes down. Jake goes for the DDT but Hercules runs out of the ring. Once he returns to the ring Jake blocks some six punches from Hercules and bodyslams him. Jake applies a headlock and won't let go. Hercules goes for a back suplex but Jake holds onto his head. Hecules gets out of hit and elbowdrops Jake. He nails a big clothesline for a two count. After a chinlock Harcules nails Jake with a nice elbow and Jake falls out of the ring. As Jake is getting up they brawl with Jake ending up flipping Hercules to the outside of the ring. Hercules goes for a chinlock but he drops down for a Jawjacker. Jake nails him with a series of punches, followed up ny a short clothesline, followed by an attempt at the DDT but he suplexes him. Jake then hits the DDT out of nowhere for the win. 1-2-3. (10 minutes, **) Not all that bad of a match. After the match Jake throws Damian onto an unconscious Hercules. 10) Main Event- Ted DiBiase/Andre The Giant (w/Bobby Heenan and Vincent) vs. Hollywood Hogan/Randy Savage (w/Miss. Elizabeth) - Jesse Ventura lays down the ground rules for the match. Jesse tells the managers to get out of the ring (And they weren't going to do that when the match starts?). He moves the tag rope for some odd reason. Both teams take a minute to decide who gets to start. Andre and Savage decide to start. Andre starts the match off and beats on Savage. Andre tags out and Ted comes in. He points to Hulk and Savage tags Hulk. Atomic Drop by Hogan and Savage nails him a few times in the corner and then Hogan clotheslines him. Hulk tags out to Savage. They nail Ted with a double chop and a double elbow. Quickly tags out to Hulk. Hogan throws Ted's head into Savage's boot. Another tag and Savage hits a top rope double axehandle to head. Savage hits a knee drop and tags out again. They both hit a double boot on Ted. They then hit three elbows on him. They both go for Andre but Andre headbutts the both of them. Ted tags out to Andre. Andre throws Hogan into the corner and butt sits him. Ouch.... Andre puts Hogan's head into his size 22 boot. Andre puts a nerve hold on Hogan. Andre tags out to Ted DiBiase. Ted pounds on Hulk. Clothesline and he gets a 2 count. Ted applies a sleeper and Hulk has one of his annoying Hulk Ups. He tags out and they hit him with a double clothesline. Savage backdrops Ted and gives him a double axehandle. Ted gains the advantage but Savage hits a crossbody. Ander gets in and beats on Savage and then tags out to Ted. He hits Savage with a suplex and misses a backwards top rope elbow drop (He faces backyards in position for a moonsault, then puts his elbow out and falls). Savage finally tags out to Hogan and Hogan gets in and kicks ass. But Ander makes a save and Ted and him throw the both of them out of the irng. Liz then jumps up on the apron and acts like a whore taking off the bottom of her dress distracting Ted and Andre. Hulk and Randy give each other a thumps up on the outside. Savage gets in the ring and nails Andre causing Andre to fall down. Hogan slams Ted and Savage hits the Flying Elbow Drop for the 1-2-Jesse Ventura is reluctant to make the count but they slam his hand down for the 3 (** 1/2, 15 minutes) Actually a pretty good match. They kept Andre out of the match literally the whole knowing that he was at the end of his carreer right now and that the match would suffer if he was in it. I'll be back soon with another PPV. Greg Conley freelance Mail the Author |
BLAH |
Main |
||