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/wrestling /guests /Chumly |
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/wrestling /guests /Chumly |
| Guest Columns | Mark Q. Chumly |
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I LIVE UNDER THE BRIDGE On WCW: I am not sure that I understand, or like this "new Nitro" that has been on the television of late. Sure, it seemed like a good idea last month, but who then could have foretold what evils The Powers To Be had in store for WCW fans? My favorite wrestler of all time, the incredible Hulk Hogan, has not been on TV in at least 3 weeks. I had hoped that he was busy filming new episodes of Thunder in Paradise, but my Internet Sources tell me that he is actually being forcibly held off TV by the Powers To Be. That's a damn shame, and it's wrong. I say that we, the Internet Fans, must start a campaign to get Hulk back on TV. Sure, it might take a little work, but I think that seeing the Hulkster back on the tube might just be worth it. He is a great performer and is sorely missed. As Hogan himself would say, "Ohhhh Yeah!". Nitro was okay this week. I really liked when the Vampire beat the Nazi, and it was great when the Insane Clown Patrol came in and made the save. I am especially glad that the ICP has gotten rid of the fat one and replaced him with three different gentlemen. If I were them, I wouldn't associate myself with a Vampire, though! I'd go with Hulk Hogan or possibly a fat person, such as Meng or Blitzkrieg or Yokozuna. I wonder if the Vampire has them hypnotized? Unfortunately, Chris Benoit was allowed on television again, to make an absolute fool of himself. I laughed out loud when the stupid klutz fell face-first off of that cage. Serves him right for climbing up there in the first place! Come back when you learn how to wrestle correctly, "Crippler"! What was Vince McMahon doing on WCW Nitro??? Mind blowing! Hopefully this means that we will see Stone Cold versus Goldberg at the next Wrestling Mania. I wonder how much it cost WCW to get him on their show, anyway?? Lots, probably. The World Wrestling Federation must be strapped for money these days. Overall, Nitro was wholly disappointing this week. I wish that Ric Flair would stop appearing with that crowbar and hitting people. He has already sent Diamond Dallas Page, a fantastic performer, to the hospital. When will he stop? I earnestly hope that someone has notified the police. On the WWF: Where to begin? I thought that Rocky Maivia was especially entertaining this week, and said a few catch-phrases that will surely become popular with the crowd in time. "Can you smell what Rocky Maivia is cooking?" is my personal favorite. My friend, Barney, always screams "Your name doesn't matter!!" and we laugh about it, so he's got at least two semi-popular ones. I do wish that the WWF would allow the fans to respond naturally to these catch-phrases, though. I noticed a lot of supposed "crowd reaction" during his segments that was probably taped. Give him time, WWF. He will catch on, trust me. I am a very proficient and observant trend watcher, and my predictions are usually accurate. Do you sense what [I] am cooking?? What was with that 5-minute 8-man tag match on RAW is WAR? Fans do NOT want to watch that much wrestling. People watch the show for entertainment, not wrestling, and the WWF should know that by now. Hopefully, when the RAW is WAR show is crushed in the ratings again by the WCW juggernaut, they will realize their flawed ways, and correct them. Why has Val Venis been destroying Mankind's book? I read it, and it wasn't THAT bad. I can't imagine that it will sell more than a few hundred copies, but I wouldn't have burned it. I wonder what his problem is. Thank God that Shane McMahon finally got the WWF championship belt from that cad, Triple H. He's worked hard and he deserves it. I just hope that Shane keeps an eye out for those DX thugs that Triple H is associated with these days; I'm sure that stealing his belt is not above them. Keep vigilant, Shane! Mark Q. Chumly freelance Mail the Author |
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