Well, the Great American BLORCH (TM, #wrestling) has just ended, and let's see what we ended up with (I kinda stole the match times from CRZ, hope ya don't mind):

Lt. Loco (4'57" outside interference -> pin) Disco Inferno
Well, that sure as hell surprised me. I figured that since the belts are all just props, Disco would win this one to further the MIA/Filthy Animals feud. Of course, I forgot about the Major Guns resuscitation schtick after the end of every MIA match. Silly me! Chavo retains.

Kronic (9'20" High Time -> Clark pins Johnny the Bull) Mamalukes
Can't really complain here. There was no way this match wasn't going to suck, considering who was competing. Luckily, it looks like they're breaking up the Mamalukes, so they won't be stinking up the tag team scene (ha!) anymore. Kronic are now the number one contenders.

Mike Awesome (9'40" Kanyon interferes on Awesome's behalf -> DDP into ambulance) Diamond Dallas Page
Oh my goodness. What a surprise. They sure did swerve me. Next.

BOOKER T (13'57" Lex flexor -> 10-count) Shawn "PerfectShawn" Stasiak
How much longer are they going to be putting over the Luger/Palumbo feud with that damn Lex flexor? All it does is remind us that yet another storyline has just disappeared.

Douglas (7'57" tumble/slam/fall through 3 stacked tables) The Wall
After the Wall got two quick ones over the Franchise, the two went through a somewhat contrived spot that saw the Wall follow Douglas up a ladder (the moron) and get knocked into a stack of 3 tables, thus rendering Douglas the winner.

Scott Steiner (3'47" Steiner Recliner -> submission) Tank Abbott & Rick Steiner
Whaddya mean this wasn't supposed to be a handicapped match? Post-show, Madden tried to explain the last-minute change by saying they didn't think someone with limited wrestling experience would be able to do much in such a confined space. Assuming they are talking about Abbott, do you think this was the way to solve the problem? By adding RICK STEINER? He is your wrestling solution?? And what would happen if Scott lost? Who gets the belt? Yeesh. Scott retains.

Hulk Hogan (11'40" brass knuckles -> pin) Kidman
Not much of a surprise here. Not only has Kidman been jobbing all over the place to Hogan already, but a title shot was on the line. Did any of you actually think Hogan would put Kidman over as much as he has (relatively speaking) without getting something in return? Hogan gets a title shot at the next PPV.

Ric Flair (10'17" figure four -> submission) David Flair
This one surprised me (WHAT A SWERVE!!). I figured since Ric needed shoulder surgery, retirement (read: time off to heal) would be just what he needed. However, post-match, Russo challenged Ric to a retirement match for this week's Nitro. So, I guess there's still hope. WHAT A SWERVE!!

Vampiro (7'23" lights a stuntman on fire) Sting

You know, most of the time I get my PPV info from live play-by-play on #wrestling (IRC), and I appreciate all the hard work those guys put into it. And let me be the first to say that everyone is entitled to his own opinion. But hearing one of those PBP guys go apeshit about Sting and the stuntman getting knocked off the TurnerTron, saying it was just a big "fuck you" by WCW towards the memory of Owen Hart seemed to be just a tad bit over the line. Now, insinuating that Sting may have been dead is definitely not necessary and unwelcome, but must we view EVERY SINGLE STUNT in pro wrestling as being disrespectful to Owen?

Jeff Jarrett (17'22") Kevin Nash
The Cat brings out Konnan as the "bell-ringer," Rey Mysterio Jr. as the timekeeper, Juventud Guerrera as the "belt-keeper," Disco Inferno as the ring announcer (after the match had already been announced), and himself (the Cat) as the special enforcer. The finish sees pretty much on WCW's roster come to the ring, including Goldberg. Now, mind you, before this match Bischoff said there would be no surprise announcement and told us to leave him alone. Anyways, Goldberg sets up for the spear, but he takes out Nash instead of Jarrett (WHAT A SWERVE!!). As the announcers go apeshit, Jarrett covers for the pin. Afterwards, Bischoff and Russo exit from the Goldberg monster truck that accompanied Goldberg to ringside. Hugs all around. WHAT A SWERVE!! Blah.

This show was pretty much a disappointment. It's not really less than what you would normally expect from a company that has been floundering, but there was just so much damn hype, there was no way they could meet everyone's expectations. The way they handled the surprise, and the damn surprise itself, was disappointing. Many people left that show scratching their heads, wondering if Goldberg was indeed the surprise. Hey guys, when you say there's an ANNOUNCEMENT, usually you present it to the fans verbally. Wow, what a thought!

You know, looking back at my last column, Deducing Bischoff's Announcement (hope that link works), I realize that my mistake was assuming Bischoff's surprise would make sense. Silly me! When he said he was going to make the biggest announcement ever, and that it was going to change the entire world of sports entertainment, I should have known that's Eric-speak for "buy this pay-per-view, PLEASE!!!!"

So, now that I've learned my lesson, I'm going to tell you all what I see in the future for WCW. Frankly, there's not much there. WCW is steadily starting to resemble the Titanic. The captain of that big ship had several opportunities before the ship sank to make decisions that could have saved them from tragedy, but his pigheadedness kept him from doing the right thing. Well, it looks like Bischoff and Russo are doing the same damn thing. Can anything save WCW from sinking at this point?

Maybe. Dave Meltzer is reporting that the WCW-Fox deal has been all but finalized (then again, he also said that was the surprise and that Hogan was going to lose at the Bash). Depending on how Bischoff and Russo use this arrangement, WCW could save itself from the immediate demise it's heading towards right now. I've heard everything discussed from irregular wrestling specials to one-hour programs every afternoon when kids get home from school. If WCW plans on doing an everyday thing, I can't imagine they do anything more than televised house shows. There's no way they can have their major stars working nearly everyday of the year, so I doubt that is what they plan. My guess is that they're just going to add another hour of WCW programming, maybe even two. Network television has been a lot of help in putting the WWF into the position it's in now, and network television might just be able to bring WCW back to the respectable level it was once at.

Now, I seem to remember a Vince Russo interview on Wrestleline not more than a week after he announced that he would be moving to WCW that said one of his reasons for the change was the unbelievable workload of writing so many hours of TV each week. Well, uh, Vinny Ru, what the hell do you call this? I think there are actually more hours of WCW TV to script now than there were hours of WWF TV to script back then. Not about the money, huh? Yeah, right. Let's just hope that Russo doesn't use the too-much-work-to-handle excuse for putting out sub-par programs.

Anyways, the point is, this deal with Fox is what is going to make or break WCW. They have been given so many opportunities by the fans to fix their ways, but they have failed almost every time. How many "new eras" can there be before you guys finally give up? You know, I can't really see WCW actually closing its doors (ala the AWA), but I definitely would not be surprised if it dropped to the level of ECW or MCW and just stuck to wrestling. And you know what? I really wouldn't mind that. Hell, give me 20-minute luche libre matches over Nash/Goldberg any day! So maybe we actually have something to look forward to. Yay!

Looking to the WWF, I'm a little bit worried about what might be in the future for them as well. As many people have said before, competition brings quality. When WCW is trying hard, the WWF will try hard too. When WCW is looking like the inside of Rena Mero's duffel bag, then the WWF can just hit cruise control. The undercard is just fine. I definitely have no gripes with seeing Benoit/Hardy and Guerrero/Hardy on the same show. But what about the main events? How many more times can we see the McMahon Helmsley Faction vs. The Rock/Undertaker/Kane? Variation is the key to success. Use it! And we don't even have a main event for KOTR yet, either. Little by little, the WWF is starting to take on some of the traits WCW held when they started slipping from first place a few years ago. If the WWF gets stale and WCW just flat-out sucks, what on earth are we supposed to watch? ECW? Bwahahahahahahaha. Oops, sorry.

The point is, something needs to change, and it needs to change soon. WCW will probably continue its throw-shit-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks method of booking, and that might just produce something we like down the line, but until they get some solid direction, quality will keep on declining. And as long as free "PPV quality" main events like Triple H/The Rock keep drawing ratings on RAW and Smackdown!, no matter how stale they get, the WWF will keep doing it. Fans, for the most part, aren't stupid, though. Somewhere down the line, everyone will get sick of the same old feuds in the WWF and they will stop watching. As soon as Vinny Mac starts feeling the pinch in his purse, things will change.

Anyways, I think that's all for today. Hopefully, I can start writing a regular column, but that is assuming that I have the time and that I have something to write about. Time shouldn't be a problem, seeing as how I'm out of school right now, but since I haven't been getting too many responses since my The WWF Sells Out column (hint, hint), it's been getting harder to come up with good ideas. So, flood that mailbox, boys and girls! I'm out!