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| Guest Columns | Rebecca Cerese |
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REBECCA'S RANTS Hello All, its me, Rebecca back from my awesome wrestling weekend!!! Sorry its taken so long to write but I've been busy as hell at work, because I missed Monday and all. But I am finally sitting down to write about my experience this weekend, so here it goes. Now I've been reading around the web that Unforgiven wasn't that good, but yours truly really enjoyed it!!! Now RAW on the other hand....but I'll start the ranting in a minute. First off, I want to give a shout out to all of the wonderful wrestling fans I met on my two day adventure into the unknown. Hey to Terri, Marcia, Samantha and her dad, Sarah, Bob, Jibreel and Mark. It's always great to meet great people...anyway on with my rants. Ok, so me and Heather went all out this weekend. First up Tom Petty concert on Saturday!!! Damn is they didn't kick ass too!!! But next up Sunday....and the big PPV . We got to the arena early and this really sweet security guard brought us into the arena to see them setting up. We watched on as they assembled the Hell in a Cell match...too bad they didn't just keep it away...but more on that later. Next up, watching on as the wrestlers arrived. Here's where its easy to see what kind of people these guys really are...HHH rammed through a barricade using his car!!! Mark Henry, rode the horn till he realized he had to go in another way. Jeff Jarrett practically ran over Samantha who is a little 13 year old girl... really great guy. Test stopped and gave autographs...unfortunately, I had gone home to freshen up, and missed the festivities...don't think I wasn't kicking myself. Lillian Garcia arrived with her parents, and got out to sign autographs. She seemed really sweet. Mostly we just hung out and passed the time. Finally it was time to line up to go in... Like I said, I've been reading that a lot of people didn't like Unforgiven, but I have to disagree. First of all, the crowd was awesome, except for a few matches, there was just a constant roar. Plus I thought the majority of the matches were pretty good, and definitely entertaining, in fact in my opinion there was only one stinker, and I'll give you one guess as to what that was...hint...involved two cages, and a bunch of dogs who were out there for no reason...but I digress. First up was Heat, now of course I was already seated in my 6th row seat, and it seemed that nobody in the first five rows had decided to get there yet, because there was no one in front of us. Well, the good all "Oh you didn't know..." comes on, and before I know it, Heather is down by the ring shaking hands with Road Dogg and Bad Ass while I am stuck behind some 300 lb security guard who won't let me go down any further. I did get to take a couple of pictures though, and I am very proud of the one I took of BA's ass in those very nice jean shorts. Well, all I have to say, is that whole way to Charlotte, I was bitching to Heather (my wrestling companion) about how I hoped they would add a tag team match up at the PPV because at that moment the undercard sucked!! So I was very happy to say the least when the Outlaws came out...I was even more thrilled when my boys Christian and Edge came out to challenge them to a match. At this point I was in the second row, screaming "Christian" at the top of my lungs...no I am not a scary stalker, I just want Christian to know he has some huge fans out there, since the deal is usually only made about Edge. The beat down begins, and I had a tag team title match to look forward to!! Ok, so the rest of Heat went down, and finally, time for the PPV. By this time the crowd is already going beserk, and its time for the opening match. Val Venis vs. Steve Blackman: I have to say, I don't understand what Val did to deserve to be put into a rivalry with Blackman, but he must be on someone's shit list. To get into a rivalry with Blackman practically guarantees you will be caught in the abyss of silence during the entire match. That said, I enjoyed this match more than I thought, I think Val Venis besides having some of the most moves in the WWF, is one of the best sellers, so although this match wasn't thoroughly exciting, it certainly could have been a lot worse. Next up: D'Lo Brown vs. Mark Henry: I love D'Lo Brown, I think he is one of the rising stars in the WWF, so I was very excited about this match!! I was afraid the crowd would not be very into it, but I was wrong, D'Lo got a huge pop (unlike at RAW where he entered the ring to utter silence because he was fighting...yes you guessed it the Heat killer...Blackman) and the crowd were solidly behind him the entire match. I loved this match, simply because I love to see D'Lo work, he's got the high flying moves, and the power moves, plus its always good to see Mark Henry pick 250 pounders up like they are toothpicks. And of course I got to see the Low Down which is one of my favorite finishers, and I have to say, this move is a million times cooler to see in person than on TV, the elevation he gets is quite awesome. So D'Lo scores the victory, and is happily reunited with his Beloved European belt. Dudleys Vs. Acolytes: For some unknown reason, the crowd just wasn't into this match, which is a shame, because I thought it was awesome. I was actually rooting for the Acolytes, (that is until I found out later in the night, that they are nothing more than unfaithful, lying, I'll screw anything remotely female WHORES) but was very entertained by the Dudleys as well. Basically I thought this match was incredibly solid, and only the beginning of this rivalry. Next time though I am certainly rooting against Bradshaw and Farrooq. YUCK. Ok, now it is time for my favorite match of the evening the match I was looking forward to for weeks now, the Chyna vs. JJ IC title match...I have to say I wasn't prepared for the incredible pop Chyna received when she entered the arena, besides the Rock and Stone Cold, I definitely think she got the biggest one of the night. It was deafening, and of course I was screaming right along with everyone. I was sure Chyna was leaving with the belt, and I was going to be there. Basically the roar continued throughout the match, which I thought was extremely well fought by both wrestlers...Then the ref is knocked out, and Moolah, and Mae Young make their way to the ring...and they start kicking Jarrett's ass. The crowd was going absolutely CRAZY...I have never heard anything like it! Then of course Debra makes an appearance...and takes about 7 years to hit Jeff over the head with his guitar...Chyna wakes up, hits the pedigree, the ref shakes off the cobwebs, and counts to THREE!!! I'm jumping up and down, hugging Heather, celebrating this victory for women everywhere...and then stupid ass Tom Pritchard comes out and reverses the goddamn decision. I really hate how instant replay is used oh so selectively, and of course it just happens to be used in this match. I swear I was so disappointed I wanted to cry, but alas I actually hoped that she would get a rematch on RAW...but we know now we have to wait for Oh Mercy for Chyna to be screwed yet again out of what she rightly deserves... who besides me thinks that Debra and Jeff are up to their usual tricks with Chyna. Debra takes the figure four, everyone thinks she's finally free from Jeff, she gets all buddy buddy with Chyna as exhibited on RAW and then WHAM...at Oh Mercy, she stabs Chyna in the back and reunites with Jeff. That's just how I see it, believe me I hope it doesn't happen, but I bet that's how its going to go down. Despite the screwjob ending, this was still my favorite match of the night...mostly because I love Chyna, but also because of the all around good drama with the two living legends of wrestling... Moolah and Mae Young...who I must say, are two crazy old broads. The bumps they took during this match, and the defrocking of Mae on RAW were just crazy stunts for women their age!! And although all of the men in the audience were wildly protesting when Mae's clothes were coming off, I thought it was hilarious, especially when I looked down at the commentary table, and saw that Jerry the King Lawler had a brown paper bag out there that said Barf Bag...I started laughing so hard I couldn't stop!! One of the very few high points of a totally lackluster RAW. But back to Unforgiven...The tag team title match was up next, and I think I was the only person in the entire arena who was rooting for Christian and Edge. I love the Outlaws too, but I can't root against my boy Christian...besides, I would really like to see Edge and Christian, two of the most talented wrestlers on the roster, hold the belts. That isn't to say that like Heather, I didn't mark out like a fool when they reunited and took the belts from the Rock/Sock Connection. So you may have seen my Christian sign held up proudly during the match...it said "We've been converted to Christian-ity" and had a very delicious picture of Christian from this month's WWF magazine... needless to say they didn't win, but at least it wasn't a clean win, when interference from the Hardy's helped the NAO get the pin...which means more awesome matches between my boys and the New Brood which is fine by me...I know the belts are somewhere in their futures, and I can be patient and wait... Jericho/X-Pac - this promised to be a very exciting match where dare I say it, we would be able to see Jericho showcase some moves...and he definitely did...as did X-Pac (I say grudgingly) who pulled out some top rope moves I had never seen from him before. All in all a good match which was ruined by the distraction of the crowd when some security guards where led on a wild goose chase trying to grab a sign that said Eat more beaver. As the crowd started yelling eat more beaver, I thought to myself, this is definitely going to confuse the home audience...Ok, now I think the bronco buster is a pretty gay move, but the inverted bronco buster was even gayer...that's all I'll say about that...no clean end...a run in by the Road Dogg, methinks Jericho is going to get into it with DX...which should be cool. Hell in a Cell/Dog Kennel Match: Knew this match was going to suck...I was right. You know its real bad if the commentators are saying its bad...this was beyond bad. Six Pack Challenge: now anyone who knows me knows I was rooting for Kane, although I knew he wasn't going to win... I thought this match was pretty good. I continue to like the Big Show vs. Kane stuff, and although I don't like him, watching the Bulldog pick up Kane like he was a sack of feathers was pretty darn impressive. When Austin counted the 2 count on the rock, everyone thought it was 3, and the crowd went nuts, but alas, it was only 2, and HHH with the help of a steel chair, covered Rock for the win...Deep down I knew it would happen, but I still didn't want it too... Stone Cold hits the stunner on HHH, and although he's the champ, he's laid out in the middle of the ring unconscious, Chyna no where to be seen, and Unforgiven is over... Overall, I enjoyed myself thoroughly, and then came the after-unforgiven festivities.... We went to where the wrestlers were coming out, and there I witnessed one of the grossest displays of sluttiness I have ever witnessed. This girl, who I had seen at KOTR, was there, wearing leather...I mean plastic pants, and a black low cut nylon shirt without a bra... I mean her breasts were falling out. To say this girl is a dog is an understatement...she also had one thing on her mind to fuck a wrestler...any wrestler. The one whose attention she got was Bradshaw. Bradshaw practically had an accident when he saw the breasts near his car. He opened the window and told her to come back to his hotel... Later on while we were sitting in the lobby waiting for some other wrestler to come in...we saw Farrooq (carrying a six pack of Coors...high class there), Bradshaw and that girl and her friend walk through the lobby. This girl actually looked proud!! I was like yeah, you are so cool to be fucking Bradshaw who is damn married. She gives women everywhere a bad name, and I for one was sickened by that whole scene. Bradshaw and Farrooq have forever lost my respect, not that they care, but I had to vent about the situation. On the opposite side of the coin...the Rock came in and was a complete class act. I have never been one of the millions...but I am now. He treated everyone with dignity and respect, and stopped and took pictures with a bunch of people out there. He is the freakin' Rock, and he didn't have to do any of it, but he knows he is where he is because of his fans, and he appreciates it....he is the man, and I am a Rock fan for life. Other notables...got to see Big Show up close, just as I thought he is very handsome in person...when he came back at 2:30am and we were still hanging out, he told us to go to bed. I found this funny. Road Dogg was pretty nice but very into being a superstar, he travels with an entourage, but I did shake his hand, and he signed autographs. Jeff Jarrett on the other hand was a dick head as was X-Pac. X-Pac refused to sign an autograph for a 13 year old girl, when she was the only one around there. He said he was to tired, but he wasn't to tired to come down 10 minutes later, blow by a couple of fans, and go to a titty bar... Asshole. Viscera was very nice, and Mark Henry besides being pretty drunk and sad was nice as well. He seems to take to heart the boos he receives when he is a heel. Overall, I had the best time...got back to the hotel, and went on to Greensboro and RAW the next morning. That afternoon I got to meet Luna and Gangrel, who were super nice, and Stevie Richards...meeting Stevie was great, and he too seemed like a great guy. We got to see the Canadian contingent entering the arena...Jericho, Edge and Christian...now to see these three beautiful men walking in together was certainly a site that stayed burned in my brain for the entire night. Unfortunately, the rest of the night did not live up to the expectation. I was super excited about being at a RAW, it was my first one, but basically, I thought it was the weakest RAW of all time. I know the WWF puts on 52 live RAWS a year, and they are all not going to be great, but this one was the pits. Nothing worked, nothing jelled, and the British Bulldog just isn't over enough as a heel, to warrant this huge main event push he is getting. I honestly think, the British Bulldog is where he is now because of Vince's guilty conscious about Owen Hart. I mean who comes back the WWF and gets a WWF title shot within 3 weeks of being back...I can say no one besides the bulldog. And tell me that his little verbal exchange with HHH didn't suck!!! Ok, then we got the 21 minute segment with the Rock and Mankind. I love these two on the mike, and parts of this segment were hilarious, but did it really need to take up _ of RAW...HELL NO!! I was like where the hell is the wrestling? I can think of one other real highlight...Test in a tuxedo...the man looked fine as hell, and every woman in the place was squealing with delight. I know this wedding storyline is going to end horribly, but I don't care because it was worth it just to see Test in the tux...damn. Ok, one more, Kane reuniting with X-Pac to take on the Outlaws. I wonder where they are going with this, and I would still love to see Kane in DX...but he looked very left out when X-Pac, Road Dogg and BA were having their little lovefest reunion. I hope they don't screw Kane over, he's been screwed over before. Basically the rest of RAW sucked, esp. the main event with no heat Bulldog coming down and messing up the Rock's chance for a victory. I hope with Smackdown the WWF can return to form...overall, despite RAW, I had the best time this weekend. One thing though that I want to reiterate...it saddens me how many of the wrestlers are complete assholes to the fans. I mean some guys won't even come sign autographs or take pictures if there are only 6 people. Now I know they have lives outside of wrestling, but this isn't like we are bothering them while they are eating, this is at the damn arena. They need to remember that without any fans they are nothing... well that's all for now. See ya. Rebecca Cerese The World's Most Dangerous Abs Mail the Author Visit the World's Most Dangerous Abs |
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