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Rebecca Cerese

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REBECCA'S RANT

Hey All! I did something that I don't usually do...I had some wine before watching Raw last night...ok, so I had a bunch of wine...lets just say that by the time 9:00 rolled around, I was giggling like a school girl over nothing in particular so I had a somewhat screwy perspective of what happened last night...I found some things unbelievably funny, and I found other things unbelievably annoying...but certain things didn't change. The Hardy Boyz still look great out there, the cocky blondes still had me rolling on the floor and Benoit still rules the world...oh yeah we have a PPV this weekend...how could I have forgotten about that...I guess I will throw in my two cents worth where I feel like it...

Oh yeah, I failed to mention last week...two weeks ago I won 2 ringside tickets to the WWF house show in December in Raleigh, NC. I had to name the current WWF refs and yes I knew them all...don't ask...well I needed Heather's help on two of them, so she is the person I am taking with me....anyway, I am so damn excited...Thanks B. C. for asking a question only me and my crazy friend Heather would know.... (Hey, I know! Earl Hebner, Tim White, Teddy Long, Mike Chioda, Jim Korderas, Jack Doan, Chad Patton, Mike Sparks, occasionally Brian Weber and VERY rarely Harvey Wippleman. Ha! Bet I named more than you!! - CRZ)

Anyway, onto the drunken rants...

The pyro guy seemed to be having an off night...after Kurt Angle made his way to the ring, and I realized they were going to start off RAW with a match (will wonders never freakin' cease) I noticed that there was a lot of smoke going around the arena...of course this was nothing compared to later on in the evening when the smoke was so thick during the Raven/Tazz (we are going to start fighting each other because the WWF writers can't think of anything good to do with us) vs. the Dudleys that you couldn't even see the audience around the ring...for some reason I just found this totally hilarious...I was laughing so hard I couldn't stop. I guess I found it symbolic in a way...hell nothing else has gone right in the supposed "push" of Tazz or Raven, so why shouldn't the pyros go awry and fill the entire arena with smoke...hell these guys have no heat anyway, so who cares if the audience can't see what happens anyway...besides the tables hadn't yet made an appearance and they are the most over things in the ring anyway... So many things about this match annoyed me...first of all I was thinking back to ECW days when the Dudleys were kings of the stick...especially Buh Buh. But now because the fans can't get enough of putting people through tables, they are stuck being faces which totally doesn't suit them or allow them to deliver their killer heel promos that I have grown to love from watching old ECW tapes. I feel this is a real disservice to the Dudleys as they are not capitalizing on one of their greatest assets...plus I miss my heel Buh Buh.

The other thing that annoyed me that I noticed all night long was how off J.R. and the King were...I mean J.R.s head is so far up Stone Cold Steve Austin's ass that he obviously doesn't see anything that is going on in the ring in front of him. For a long time it has annoyed me that J.R. seems remiss in his announcing duties, always building up the Main Event instead of concentrating on the action going on in the ring, and on Raw I thought it was worse than ever. Tazz and Raven come out and even before the match starts, they are visibly arguing...what do the King and J.R. say...later on tonight...Stone Cold Steve Austin...the Rock...blah blah blah...grrr...what about...Tazz and Raven don't seem to be on the same page...why do they suddenly seem to be arguing...something...this was just so annoying....So now I suppose they will feud them with each other because they can't think of anything else to do with them. I find this odd, because in the new WWF magazine with Lita on the cover adorned in Christmas lights, (this must be Mick Foley's wet dream) they have an interesting article on Raven and how he has a past with many different superstars in the WWF and how he is a master manipulator... so why not actually do something with this side of his personality. I still think it would be awesome to have him be the man behind Kane...the man who taught him how to talk, the man who sent him after Chris Jericho...Jericho was actually mentioned in the article as someone from Raven's past...so I think it would work out nicely.

That being said, I simply love the crazed intensity that Y2J seems to bring to each and every rivalry he enters into. I don't remember seeing the Big Red Machine this pissed off in a long while...whenever they get near each other they are tearing each other apart...and on RAW...Y2J actually got the big pin on Kane...a clean pin too...well sort of. I also loved how Kane threw Jericho through the plate glass window, and how pissed off Jericho got about it. This rivalry while starting off slowly has definitely gained heat, at least from me. I think they have the potential to have a great match at the PPV which would be made even cooler if we find out the real reason that Kane has gone after Jericho and I hope the brooding birdman has something to do with it.

Getting back to the subject of J.R. and the King totally pissing me off, I have to say they were super annoying during the 6 man tag of the Hardys and Lita vs. RTC. Again, so much of this match annoyed me...first off, RTC was going after Jeff's injured arm (injured on Smackdown by Edge and Christian) and he was selling it like crazy...however neither J.R. nor the King said one word about it...not one word. I was like how about a little back story here... or at least talk about how dastardly those RTC members are for going after a weakness. Something...anything...just stop talking about Stone Cold for one fucking minute and talk about what's going on in the ring. (Hey Lewis...I'm channeling your anger...can you feel it) Other things that annoyed me...last week I read a very disturbing article about Jeff Hardy talking about that at 23 he already feels pain when he gets up in the morning. Now I've noticed that for the last several weeks, he has been limping to the ring, and now they are playing up on this arm injury...but does he slow down, even for one day no...I commend him for giving 110% while in the ring, but I would like to see him around for a while and at the pace he is going he will never last. Meanwhile J.R. mentions just about every other WWF superstar and their injuries in his Ross Report, but makes no mention of Jeff. I am not blind, I see the limp, I see the way he grabs his ribs every time he lands on the mat, I see that he seems to be hurting more and more when he comes to the ring...how about let us know what the hell is going on. I can only hope that the arm injury which J.R. and the King don't seem to notice will lead to an injury angle and he can get some time off. I know that is probably not what he wants, but it seems that is what he needs. As for Matt, the same thing goes. Right now he actually seems to be in better shape than Jeff, which is surprising considering how Matt is injury prone, so hopefully he will stay healthy and continue to put on the best matches on TV. Go Team Extreme...One more thing about this match that annoyed me...it seemed that at the end, Ivory got hurt, and I can't help but think its because they have her wrestling in a goddam long skirt...how asinine is this...this just screams accident...she can wear something very concealing but more wrestling friendly to the ring, so her safety won't be at risk.

Ok, so I guess I am jumping all over the place today, going with a more stream of conscious style of writing...so bear with me...

I will now return to the beginning...Kurt Angle....Kurt had a very good match with Crash Holly on Heat this past Sunday. He let loose his vicious streak and put Crash in his new submission style end move which looks a whole lot like Lance Storm's ankle lock...so I knew they were setting up for Hardcore to come back...seeing as how it was Angle that literally broke Hardcore's arm to smithereens. I have to say I was sort of looking forward to seeing the Big Shot and his text book style dropkicks. For someone who has had a broken arm, Bob Holly looked to be in tremendous shape. And the time off seemed to make him more of a hot head than before. I swear he was working stiff as hell against Angle during their six man tag match...at least it looked that way to me. As much as it sort of annoys me that Kurt is facing opponents like Crash Holly, I can't really complain about the match...either one...they were both solid and the perfectly set up the return of Hardcore...so kudos to the start of RAW...I thought it was really solid. It will be interesting to see where Bob goes from here. Also I have to say it was great seeing the Undertaker so limber and happy. He seemed to be moving pretty smoothly and I loved the smile after Kurt clocked him in the head. I have a very strong feeling that Kurt is going to pull out the big victory against the dead man this Sunday at Survivor Series. Just call it a hunch, but that's what I think. Undertaker wants to put over the young guys, so I think he will do the JOB for Angle, at least I hope he will.

My next question...where the hell is Stephanie McMahon Helmsley. Since HHH has turned full heel again, it seems that the best storyline on TV, the love triangle between Kurt/Steph/HHH has seemed to disappear. Kurt is definitely getting the short end of the stick in this situation...and its quite depressing. At least they seem to be working it into an angle where he feels he doesn't get any respect, and that cool, but I love Stephanie as his business partner and I hope she doesn't stay away too long...

So it seems that the Radicalz have been relegated to being HHH's henchmen...god this annoys the living crap out of me...all 4 of those men deserve more respect than this. I did enjoy Benoit's little promo though, I thought his explanation at least came across as half plausible and for the first time since the Radicalz reformed, Benoit went back to being a total bad ass. He looked superb in the ring, and out of the ring, and of course I just get a perverse satisfaction out of seeing him beat the crap out of the Rock. So where is their place in the PPV? I thought they did a superb job in the Main Event, as this match came across as amazingly solid...so what is their spot in the PPV...I don't know about you but I would rather see just about anything than what they have planned for the two Main Events.

So now HHH is pretty seriously injured...oh joy that means his match against Austin should suck even more than I thought it would. The thing is the more I watch Austin the more it is an insult to any good wrestler out there. If he wasn't ready to come back he shouldn't have come back, I don't know how else I can say it. In the Main Event on RAW Austin was the weakest link out there, he looked the worst out of all 8 competitors. Of course the Radicalz for the most part always look solid, but I have seen Rock, Chyna and Billy Gunn (I refuse to call him "the One"...where the hell do they come up with these horrible ideas for Billy...I guess he doesn't inspire a lot creativity) look pretty bad out there and they all looked like stellar technical masters compared to Austin. At one point he was kicking (and I use the term very loosely) one of the Radicalz...I think it was Saturn who had the most ring time of any of the 4 last night, and they looked so damn pathetic I had to laugh...or was that the wine...but it was PATHETIC. I felt worse for Perry or whoever it was to have to sell that crap and look like a total wus...and his punches...god their terrible. And the sad thing is this is basically his whole repertoire...how sad can you get. Go home train some more, and don't come back till you can actually look halfway decent in a match...and HHH is only as good as his opponents in my opinion and now with this serious back injury...it looks like this years Survivor Series will be like last years...the fans will get screwed. I truly wish that at this point HHH wasn't the mastermind behind it all, because I would rather be seeing Kurt vs. HHH and maybe something like a rematch of Benoit vs. the Rock. These are the types of matches that appeal to me. The Rock vs. Rikishi...can we say extended bathroom break. I don't care how many twitches Rock puts into his face when he says Rikishi's name...he is not going to make me give a shit about this match...so no predictions on either one except to say that the HHH/Austin one might not even go down...

Man, I didn't realize I was this pissed off...I think I channeled a little too much of Lewis's anger here...just as a note of explanation here...my good buddy Lewis does an insanely intelligent but most of the time extremely angry rant on his web page every Sunday...you should go check it out...at www.homestead.com/hoh/rants.html he is very funny. Anyway, so I seem to be channeling him a bit much, so I will attempt to now calm down.

So let me quickly look at the last remaining matches for Survivor Series that we know about...

Lita vs. Ivory...I truly hope that Ivory holds on to the belt here. In this situation Lita is so damn over she doesn't need it. The belt is much better in the hands of the evil RTC for storyline purposes and I think it will stay there.

Blackman/Crash and Molly vs. T&A and Trish: I am excited about this match because I get to see more of Molly in the ring...plus I have a soft spot for Crash...he is so damn cute but a damn fine wrestler as well. So this should be decent...plus say what you want, but Trish Stratus is more than respectable in the ring, esp. in terms of the bumps she is willing to take...so this could be ok...PPV caliber...I don't know but this is what we got....

Last we got the only Survivor Series style match up on the card with the teams being Edge/Christian and RTC vs. the Hardys and the Dudleys....huh...why the hell isn't this a elimination tag team title match up...I have no idea what the purpose of this match is and it pisses me off...great so we get to see these guys going out there risking it all for what...for nothing...

Oh yeah one more quick note...this Road Dogg rapping thing sucks...I mean why wasn't he pissed off that this K-Kuick guy cost him the match for no good reason while he was actually winning...that was so stupid...god...I thought I was going to be ill...the only good thing was Mick Foley and Debra dancing in the back...for some reason I just thought this was the funniest thing ever...I know too much wine...but when Mick bumped her and she went flying across the room, I just found this funny.

Anyway, longwinded as usual, but I refrained from talking about the election...but Jesse Jackson echoed my sentiments about the whole situation on CNN. His last words before they cut him off were "This isn't a crisis, this is exciting." And I tend to agree...so I am just going to sit back and see where we go from here. I just hope I enjoy the ride...a whole lot more than I think I'm going to like Survivor Series...

Till next time....

Rebecca
[slash] wrestling

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