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Rebecca Cerese

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REBECCA'S RANT

Hey all! I'm back with much to say about the PPV I was dreading last week, as well as my thoughts on my favorite brother's donning the gold to take back their gold, but first things first...I want to thank all of the people who took the time to write me concerning my political rant. For the most part, all of the feedback was extremely positive and it gave me back a modicum of hope for the future...well sort of anyway...so thanks to all who took the time to write me...Second, I want to send my condolences to Yokozuna's family...I was not watching wrestling when he was in the WWF, but I hate to hear about anyone passing, esp. someone so young.

One last thing before I start, I want to copy my partner in crime Sharon and start the Rants off with a few shout outs of my own. Of course I want to give a shout out to Sharon...go check out her column from last week, and notice how she went 100% on her predictions for No Mercy...go girl. I also want to say hey to Marvelous Martin...Sharon ain't the only one who misses your recaps man. He did promise me he was going to attempt to write one this time around...can't wait to read it. A giant condolence hug to Heather, who is sobbing into her Met jersey right now...There's still hope girl...it is the Mets we're talking about, and the next couple of games are at Shea...I'm praying for your team girl...and yes, listen to Sharon and go visit Heather's awesome Dudley Boyz site tables r' us...Ok, a few more...Go Todd for finally posting on CRZ...and thanks for the on site report the night of No Mercy...and to Steve also for sending in a similar report...and last but certainly not least a HUGE shout out to Jen who way back at Summerslam suggested in our Wrestling Vacation column (how 'bout a link CRZ?) (I dunno, where's MY snaps? - CRZ) that Ivory would make a perfect member of RTC...whoo hoo girl someone's listening...

Onto the Rants...

So much to say...so little time to say it in...where to begin...I guess I want to get something off of my chest that has been bothering me since last week. With Matt Hardy injured at Raw last week, was it really necessary for him to take an unprotected chair shot straight to his head during the incredible six man tag match on Smackdown last week. And while I'm complaining, was it really necessary for anyone to take a damn chair shot...was it necessary for Stone Cold to come out during this match at all, interrupting a really enjoyable and solid contest to prove to us once again what a bad ass he is by leveling six men with a chair...yawn...can we say...HATED IT!!! I am about sick as hell of Stone Cold already and just wait till I rip apart his No Mercy "match" (and I use the term loosely)...but I have a few more things to discuss first and I am going to try and go in chronological order...

I must admit, with every passing week, I am loving Sunday Night Heat more and more. I think that Tazz is doing a tremendous job of commentating, accomplishing what I feel is the most important part of his job which is putting other wrestlers over...and being the heel side of the "A" team with "good Ole' Michael Cole" he does a tremendous job of putting over all the heels, which he does perfectly. When I was listening to him talk about Angle or Benoit...I found myself getting even more excited about their upcoming matches. He is not overly concerned with the Austin deal, forgetting to talk about the other matches on the card (yes, there were other matches) like some announcers...coughJRcoughKingcough

Also on Heat, I am loving this whole Jericho is obsessed with the band Fozzy angle that they are running. Seeing Jericho as the crazed schoolgirl type fan is too funny, even funnier when you think that he is really going crazy over himself...Mongoose McQueen, Jericho's alter ego is the epitome of Rock Star, and his egomaniacal ramblings of creating heavy metal are so damn funny. I for one am looking forward to seeing Fozzy this weekend on Heat...the thought of Jericho in tight leather pants, in full heavy metal mode, singing is enough to have me very....intrigued...did I mention the leather pants...now whether this means I will buy the heavily shilled Fozzy CD is a different story...I will wait to see how much his performance....moves me...

Also on the entertaining side of things was Christian and Edge feigning food poisoning to get out of the "flaming tables death thingy", and even better was the whole "nut" exchange that went on later in the evening...my slashy side was loving that...

Another thing that practically had me in tears on Heat was Kurt Angles's "exclusive" interview with the Rock...I was laughing so hard, I was practically in tears...I think the best part was when Kurt told the Rock that he better calm down or he would stop the interview and they intercut a video clip of the Rock putting his head down in shame, appearing to be appeasing Angle...absolutely classic stuff here...

So all in all, Sunday Night Heat put me in a particularly good mood going into the PPV, something I didn't think was possible, seeing as how I was dreading the whole Stone Cold thing...

My expectations for this PPV were very low, but surprisingly, it turned out to be extremely solid, despite utter apathy and silence from the crowd for most of the night. It was in a pretty steady swing from the beginning, starting off with Dudleys Table Invitational. I was very happy to see only two teams in at a time, because between the tables and the four guys, the ring seemed way over crowded as is...I liked the flow of this match, too bad though that the crowd only seemed to get excited at the prospect of tables. The four biggest pops of the night were for Stone Cold, Rock, HHH and tables...now that's sad as hell. Thankfully, the Dudleys came out on top (it was their invitational after all)...and are hopefully gearing up to once again go for the gold...

I think the best part of this match for me was that it led to Raven and Tazz taking on Too Cool on RAW where they got their first big win...but are they already teasing tension by having Raven clock Tazz in the face accidentally. Still, I was excited to see Raven hit the most awesome DDT in the biz...and not lying on his back at the end of the match...not that I would mind him lying on his back in other situations...but I'll stop there...Now if only they would put him in a decent storyline...

Of course my memory is failing me now, and I can't remember exactly what was next, but I think it was the Lita/Trish/T&A/Acolytes mess....I realize that Farooq and Bradshaw are injured, but this situation was just ridiculous. The one up side was having the Hardys run down in their street clothes to save them...Jeff in leather, and Matt with that velvety shirt...whoo hoo...well, if you guys got to sit through the gratuitous bra and panty match on RAW, then you can at least allow me to gush about the Hardys, and the gushing ain't done yet...anyway, the bra and panties match wasn't so horrible...it was sort of funny to watch Lita grabbing at her bra to try and keep her giant breasts from popping out, and their were a few wrestling moves...plus the pay off ruled...Ivory in the RTC...go Ivory...not only does she fit in perfectly with the RTC, I've always thought her mike skills were extremely strong, but this will give her an opportunity to get in the ring with Lita too...

Back to the PPV...

I have to admit for a split second, I let my soft spot for a hot body erase the many reasons why I don't like Mr. Ass from my head, but I've since regained my senses, but what's even worse is I really don't like him with Chyna. At first I thought that they were cool together, but something about the whole situation seems a little forced to me. Chyna doesn't seem all that comfortable with the situation either in my opinion. When she came to the ring with Eddy she was so sure of herself, and confident, but with Billy Gunn, its like she is trying to figure out what her role is, trying to put him over, but also trying not to lose to much of her own identity. I just don't think its working. So Mr. Ass is back from his injury, and he definitely seemed a little rusty in there. I was very happy to see RTC continue their PPV win streak with a win over Chyna, and I was ecstatic to see Eddy getting involved despite his injury. I was sort of looking forward to the Eddy/Billy feud but now I just don't know. Chyna and Eddy still have a lot of unfinished business so that could prove to be interesting and I have to say, I got a strong satisfaction from listening to Chyna beat up the hos on RAW...damn hos deserved it...

Was the Stone Cold fiasco next...I can't even recall because I have blocked it out of my head...whether it was or not, I guess I will talk about it now. What the hell was that...I think that if Stone Cold wants to do Action/Adventure he should get a TV show on CBS and leave wrestling for the "actual wrestlers" (as my new hero Chris Benoit would say). I have never seen a more unsatisfying end to a wholly unsatisfying match in my life. First off, the brawling sucked. Rikishi is too big for Stone Cold to drag around the arena as he has been known to do in one of these matches...so we get a shitload of weak ass punches, leading to some chair shots to the head...always my favorite form of offense...he throws Rikishi in the back of his truck...jumps into the driver's seat, and pops a beer (What the hell is that all about?) and drives out to the parking lot to proceed to try and run over Rikishi. Ok, if I tried real hard I think I could perhaps come up with a few worse ideas for how this match played out...simply awful. First off I hated the way they played up on the fact that both men really wanted to kill the other..."stone cold road kill"...are we supposed to be horrified by that term...please...and then to make it that a drunken!!! Austin was about to run his truck into Rikishi, but instead rammed into a police car, injuring a police officer...please. This was so damn pathetic. I won't really get on a rant here, but I think it is totally wrong and irresponsible of the WWF to show Austin drinking while operating a vehicle. Drunk driving is not a laughing matter, and whether I like to admit it or not many WWF fans are very impressionable and they will see Austin doing this, and say wow...cool...I can drink lots of beers and drive my car too...That is just ridiculous. Also do they expect us to believe that after hitting a police officer and attempting to murder someone, Austin was released on bail so that he could make it to RAW to mess up a perfectly good Main Event. I can already tell you that if Austin continually comes to the ring and messes up perfectly good matches, I will be tempted to get into my little Chevy Nova, find his ass and run it down myself.

On to more pleasant topics...the thing is I wish I could just go on and forget about what just happened, but JR and King's incessant talking about Stone Cold throughout most of the remaining matches is very distracting and annoying, esp. when you have a good match going on inside the ring, and the announcers whose job it is to put these guys over are only talking about Stone Cold, a man who judging by the pops he still gets needs no help in the getting over department. This little practice is a serious pet peeve of mine, and upsets me to no end...

Anyway, I am of course running long again, and I haven't even gotten to the important stuff yet...

Jericho/Xpuke was surprisingly good in my opinion. The flow of the match was a little off, and the crowd was utterly dead, but some of the spots were pretty sweet. Kudos to both men for bumping like crazy...even Waltman...the man definitely held up his end of the match (as much as I hate to admit it...and I do). I thought the end was quite original, but I couldn't really get past the fact that the door was right there, and X-Pac decides he has to go over the cage...still seeing him crotched like that, hanging there was very satisfying...the only thing that would have made it better was if X-Puke bladed. Other amazing thing...X-pac actually jobbed....second PPV in a row...and now it looks like the feud is finally over as Jericho looks like he's about to enter a program with the forgotten one Kane...Kane wasn't even important enough to warrant a spot on this PPV...I think this feud has potential and I am excited to see where it goes from here...

Regal vs. Naked Mideon...what possessed them to put this so high on the card...no idea...best part of the match...Mideon gets naked (whoa did I just say that) and Regal goes to put the Regal stretch on and looking at all that flesh decides against it. Classic!!! Regal rules and he used one of my favorite words at the PPV...besmirch...I know I'm weird.

Los Conquistadors vs. the Hardys...I have to say I was ecstatic about this match. I get to see three of my favorites (and Edge) go out it in a normal match where no one is going to do anything suicidal and I couldn't have been happier. I thought it was very solid and very safe, and maybe that's not what people want to see when these guys are in the ring, but this time around I was happy to see this kind of match. The ironic thing is that Christian actually injured himself, (poor baby) doing a move he's done a million times, in what was probably the least dangerous match these men have ever wrestled against each other. I loved how they covered his injury too...he was so wrapped up in the decision of what sunglasses to wear he couldn't accompany Edge to see Foley...ruby red...I think so...So I had a strong suspicion that we were going to see the Hardys don the gold tights and masks on RAW and I was very looking forward to it. Rarely if ever do we female fans get to see the Hardys wearing anything skin tight, so I was watching the match with even greater interest than I usually watch. I have to say that Matt Hardy has a wonderful body...I just love it...and I was very happy for the chance to actually see it...whoo hooo...I also loved when Mick came out and busted Edge and Christian...that was so cool. And I don't know what was up with Matt Hardy but he was more hyper than I have ever seen him...jumping up and down like a mad man all through Foley's little spiel...I wish they would have let the Hardys talk on their own...but hopefully that day will come. So I just want to thank the Hardys for thinking of their female fans when they proceeded to rip off that horrible gold top and stand before us in all their shirtless glory, posing with their belts...(at one point I was reminded of a certain picture...Sharon, Jen, Heather...you know what I'm talking about) until they abruptly cut to Michael Cole standing by with Rikishi...would it have killed them to stay on the Hardys for a few more moments...Fuck you production team!!!

As you can see I am getting all my aggression out...

What to say about the HHH/Benoit match except...WOW!!! I cannot say enough good things about this match...I had high expectations for it going in, but it absolutely exceeded all of my expectations. Did HHH go back to wrestling school or something, or did he enroll in Benoit University. It is very obvious from both the match and from what HHH said on Raw that he has the utmost respect for Benoit...and from what Sharon told me she heard Benoit say on the LAW the feeling is mutual....so it seems that they both wanted to put on an all out clinic full of psychology and real wrestling moves...and that they did. I cannot ever recall enjoying a HHH match as much as I enjoyed this match. He was just on top of his game, and the intensity between him and Benoit was superb. And of course Benoit was in top form...as usual and looked amazing out there. The end was really something as each man kept powering out of the other's end moves...truly amazing stuff here...

Chris Benoit truly is one of the most gifted pure wrestlers I have ever seen. I fully admit, I had not seen him much when he was in WCW and I always sort of rolled my eyes, whenever I would hear someone talk about how great he is, but seeing him in the ring has converted me and Benoit is now #4 on my list...following Christian and the Hardys of course...and his one weak spot, or perceived weak spot...his mike skills...I believe have improved so steadily that it can no longer be called his weak spot. Hell, did you hear his killer promo on RAW...it was superb...so now my next question...what the hell happened after his promo...he faces the damn Road Dogg (I know your feeling my pain on this one Martin). Let me get this straight...he holds his own, at times dominating HHH the night before in one of the best pure wrestling matches this year, and then he has trouble putting Road Dogg away the next night on RAW. This match should have been a squash, Road Dogg enters the ring, Benoit chops him, puts him in the crossface...Road Dogg taps out...but instead, Road Dogg actually gives the Crippler trouble...even hitting that ridiculous punch sequence, and then he needs Dean Malenko's help to finish him off. No offense to Dean, but this is just a giant insult to Benoit. Believe me I love seeing Benoit and Malenko back together...hell they are arguably one of the best teams of all times, but I can't help but be a little wary. Still the thought of seeing Benoit and Malenko in the tag team division is very appealing to me on many levels...so will hold out judgment on this one for now.

Ok, last thing, and then I'm done...shock of all shocks...the Rock did the job for Angle last night and finally dropped the belt...and to the doofy Olympian of all people...unbelievable. Going in I didn't think there was any chance in hell that Kurt was going to win, but then Stephanie guaranteed that Kurt would walk away with the belt, I started to have a glimmer of hope...after all we all know that you can take a McMahon guarantee to the bank. So, I thought the match was very solid, although I did find myself exasperated at a few points over Earl Hebner's idiocy...it's a no DQ match but yet he's preoccupied with keeping Stephanie out of the ring. Sometimes he simply didn't want to let foreign objects into the ring, other times he didn't care...stupid...but HHH's run in to save Stephanie, taking the time to level both men was a nice touch and effectively set up the continuation of this hot rivalry going into Survivor Series, but this time for the belt. Good stuff, and I have to say, I was very impressed with Kurt's Olympic Slam of Rikishi...and I simply adore his championship personality. The celebration of his victory at the PPV and the next night on RAW were great and the little tribute he put together for himself was perfect. The man really has had some rookie season...Goooo Kurt...

Ok, so those are my very long winded thoughts on the state of things currently in the WWF.

One more thing...it is now going on the third week of ECW being off TNN and all I can say is I need my Jerry fix....my man Jerry Lynn finally gets the title and I can't even enjoy his reign because I don't get Hardcore TV...sometimes life is so unfair. USA what the hell are you waiting for...sign those guys on...

That's all for me...thanks for reading...

Rebecca
[slash] wrestling

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